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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU over non-paying colleague? Lunch dramas

1000 replies

Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 12:06

I work in an open plan office. Every Friday we order lunch from a local food place. I happen to have a discount credit card for said food outlet, where I receive 30% off. I pay on this credit card and then on the first day of the next month it is paid off via direct debit from my current account. My six other colleagues always pay me in cash on the day (it's usually around/just over £5 each). Sometimes they will bank transfer it to me from their phone if they have forgotten cash. It is a bit of a pain having £30/£40 in cash every week that I then have to put aside rather than spend so that I can put it into the bank to pay off the card every month, but I do it so that we have a nice lunch and that everyone gets to take advantage of the discount. I've ended up getting a little petty cash tin that I keep everyone's money in so that I don't end up frittering it and then having to fork out at the end of the month myself.

There is one person out of the six, let's call her B, that over the last 6 months, always "forgets" her money. It started with me saying "don't worry just bring it in tomorrow" or "I don't have to pay the credit card off until the end of the month so it's OK, just transfer it before then". After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off. This is true, however everyone else has continued to give me their cash. Like I say above, it's kept in my locked drawer in my desk so it's not like I am spending it! I would be happier if everyone paid me directly into my bank at the end of the month if they wanted to, as it would be easier for me than going into town to go into the bank.

So for the last few months I have had to keep a tally of what B has ordered every week and then let her know that's what she owes when it comes towards the end of the month. This worked for a few months, but the money was always late. She would pay on the 4th or the 5th and I would have to ask every day "ah B, have you got that money for me" and end up subbing her.

So it's now the 11th, it's Friday, she hasn't paid me for last month and so I am £24 out of pocket (The direct debit for the card gets taken out of my current account on the 1st). She obviously hasn't paid me for last week (Friday 4th) either. I have asked every single morning, and reminded her every evening. She just says "I've forgotten sorry, will bring it in tomorrow" and then it never happens. I've asked if she would rather transfer it and she has said no. I've started asking in front of other people (it's an open plan office) in the hope that she would be embarrassed into remembering but it doesn't seem to bother her. It's now got to the point where I am fuming!

We just all started talking about lunch this morning and I have said I no longer want to provide the discount card lunch for everyone as I am not getting the money back in full and on time. One of the other girls has said "who's not paying you?", I looked awkward and said "B, I know you keep forgetting but I am £24 out of pocket, and I can't afford to keep doing it". She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets. Two of the other girls followed and said she's in there crying. There is now a horrible atmosphere in the office. She's now back at her desk and ignoring me. The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day. So I've given in and let them use the card. I didn't think B would have the brass neck to order something but she has.

ARGGGGGHHH! Now what?

OP posts:
Pinkyyy · 11/10/2019 13:12

Please, please, stop doing this. It's ridiculous. B is a CF and it all sounds like far more extra work than its worth. They're all grown adults and capable of feeding themselves and their pathetic outcry that they were going to starve was just laughable.

As far as Not looking at me, and tucking into her lunch, she's said "I will pay you at the end of the month like normal" I don't understand why you didn't just say "no you won't". In fact I don't understand why you're doing anything at all to help her.

managedmis · 11/10/2019 13:12

Yeah, what is this magical food?

managedmis · 11/10/2019 13:13

As far as Not looking at me, and tucking into her lunch, she's said "I will pay you at the end of the month like normal"

^^

Yeah, I'm afraid I'd have seen red with this one. What the what?

OP?? Still there? Any thoughts??

Ponderfully · 11/10/2019 13:13

When the lunches come in just take her order and eat it. You paid for it. Or just lick it.

Drum2018 · 11/10/2019 13:13

Cut it out altogether. They can still get lunch, they won't fucking starve, they're just not getting the discount. Get your own lunch and let the bitch cry in the toilet, she's a complete CF and now that she's been called out she's trying to make you look bad! Fuck that. Let this be the very last day you buy lunch. And I wouldnt be buying hers today at all.

glitterfarts · 11/10/2019 13:13

Email:

Hi All,
Due to repeated hassle in obtaining the money for lunch, I will need to be paid in cash or bank transfer BEFORE orders are placed.

If you do not wish to do this, that is fine, we can all go back to bringing our own lunches.

I cannot afford to sub anyone's lunches for 6+ weeks and do not want to let this continue to the point it affects my credit rating.

Sagradafamiliar · 11/10/2019 13:14

Just stop this ridiculousness full stop.
I can't imagine arsing about with this month in month out for...what?
And can't believe the cheek of that one person taking advantage so blatantly.
Stop acting like you need to ingratiate yourself to these colleagues/buy their friendship/keep them sweet. They can bring in their own Boots meal deal or whatever else like other functioning adults do!

HairyFloppins · 11/10/2019 13:14

I need to know what this credit card and also what the food is.

LongtimeLurker29 · 11/10/2019 13:14

I would be keeping her lunch and eating it in front of her. You only eat it when you pay for it!

Wedontneedanotherusername · 11/10/2019 13:15

Also - as she seems to be so au fait with your credit card arrangements - charge her the standard interest on her late payments. Wink

EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard · 11/10/2019 13:16

To be crystal clear you set out

How they benefit
You order
You use your discount for them
You coordinate payments
They eat their lunch on the day each Friday of the month

How you benefit
...
...
...

How you lose out
If you don’t pay in full you’re charged interest

Tell B if she wants a month’s credit order her own food using her own card and no hard feelings, or, pay as she eats.

Mouldiwarp1 · 11/10/2019 13:16

I’d just refuse to let B have anything ever again - no arguments - and she could go cry in the loo all day for all I’d care. CF!

AnathemaPulsifer · 11/10/2019 13:17

Hang on, so she spent £11 today? She’s taking the piss.

DoesNotMixWellWithOtherPeople · 11/10/2019 13:18

If she wants credit card-like arrangements for paying for her lunch, then she should take out her own fecking credit card. Cheeky fucker!

diddl · 11/10/2019 13:18

I'd just stop the whole thing I think.

What a bloody palava.

Jent13c · 11/10/2019 13:18

I dont think she has the cash. I'm not great at transferring cash but if I owed someone money to the point where they had to say something to me I would be absolutely mortified and be doing what I could to get you the money (ie skipping lunch to get to cash machine). I think shes short this month and thought she had got away with it until today.

EssentialHummus · 11/10/2019 13:18

Good lord. Yeah, next Thursday I'd be reminding B that you won't be getting her anything on Fri unless all debts are settled and she's got the payment in hand for you. Unfortunately, she's relied on your good graces enough. Then stick to it through the inevitable strop. If she doesn't like it she can make herself a sandwich.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 11/10/2019 13:19

I don't think the OP let her order, I'm guessing she handed over her card and verbalised her own order and someone else put it in

If so, that's still no reason to have handed the food over if she'd not paid

Dyrne · 11/10/2019 13:20

Jent13c then she shouldn’t be ordering lunch. I’m skint, that means when colleagues go out to lunch I have to decline and make do with my sandwiches brought in from home. It sucks to miss out but thems the breaks. I do not expect my colleagues to subsidise me.

RedskyLastNight · 11/10/2019 13:20

I refuse to believe that not one person brings in their full purse containing their debit cards.

To be fair, I only take the specific amount of cash (generally nothing) that I need to work and I leave my purse at home (this is to stop me giving in to the mid afternoon munchies).

I accept I am probably weird though.

Wedontneedanotherusername · 11/10/2019 13:21

It’s pizza isn’t it op 🍕

honeylulu · 11/10/2019 13:21

Confused. So who actually places the order with your card? If it's you, why didn't you leave just her order off?

If someone else why are you letting them have your card? That's really very unwise.

She is a cheeky, cheeky fucker though! Some people just think they deserve a free ride, god knows why!

Her logic for not offering until end of month is bizarre. The cost is incurred at the point she acquires her lunch, regardless of the card terms. Does she save up all the lunches and only eat them at the end of the month???

Zeldasmagicwand · 11/10/2019 13:21

Agree with Bumblebee, you are a prize MUG.

When she's paid you, look B firmly in the eye and tell her that because she has continued to abuse your goodwill, from next Friday (date), she'll have to sort her own lunches and will not be allowed to make use of your discount card.

Stop being a push over. Let her cry and stamp her feet like the toddler she clearly is.

You are NOT OBLIGED to give her discounts on YOUR CARD.

You are not a bully, she is a CHEEKY FUCKER OF THE HIGHEST ORDER. Angry

TidyDancer · 11/10/2019 13:22

I'm glad you got some support from E but why did you allow B to order today?! You should've said no! Her tantrum does not trump your right to be paid!

Sewrainbow · 11/10/2019 13:22

End it now. Say today was last time. They have fair warning for next week. No more miss nice guy, who cares if the others miss out due to one cf, they can take it up with her if bothered...

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