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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU over non-paying colleague? Lunch dramas

1000 replies

Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 12:06

I work in an open plan office. Every Friday we order lunch from a local food place. I happen to have a discount credit card for said food outlet, where I receive 30% off. I pay on this credit card and then on the first day of the next month it is paid off via direct debit from my current account. My six other colleagues always pay me in cash on the day (it's usually around/just over £5 each). Sometimes they will bank transfer it to me from their phone if they have forgotten cash. It is a bit of a pain having £30/£40 in cash every week that I then have to put aside rather than spend so that I can put it into the bank to pay off the card every month, but I do it so that we have a nice lunch and that everyone gets to take advantage of the discount. I've ended up getting a little petty cash tin that I keep everyone's money in so that I don't end up frittering it and then having to fork out at the end of the month myself.

There is one person out of the six, let's call her B, that over the last 6 months, always "forgets" her money. It started with me saying "don't worry just bring it in tomorrow" or "I don't have to pay the credit card off until the end of the month so it's OK, just transfer it before then". After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off. This is true, however everyone else has continued to give me their cash. Like I say above, it's kept in my locked drawer in my desk so it's not like I am spending it! I would be happier if everyone paid me directly into my bank at the end of the month if they wanted to, as it would be easier for me than going into town to go into the bank.

So for the last few months I have had to keep a tally of what B has ordered every week and then let her know that's what she owes when it comes towards the end of the month. This worked for a few months, but the money was always late. She would pay on the 4th or the 5th and I would have to ask every day "ah B, have you got that money for me" and end up subbing her.

So it's now the 11th, it's Friday, she hasn't paid me for last month and so I am £24 out of pocket (The direct debit for the card gets taken out of my current account on the 1st). She obviously hasn't paid me for last week (Friday 4th) either. I have asked every single morning, and reminded her every evening. She just says "I've forgotten sorry, will bring it in tomorrow" and then it never happens. I've asked if she would rather transfer it and she has said no. I've started asking in front of other people (it's an open plan office) in the hope that she would be embarrassed into remembering but it doesn't seem to bother her. It's now got to the point where I am fuming!

We just all started talking about lunch this morning and I have said I no longer want to provide the discount card lunch for everyone as I am not getting the money back in full and on time. One of the other girls has said "who's not paying you?", I looked awkward and said "B, I know you keep forgetting but I am £24 out of pocket, and I can't afford to keep doing it". She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets. Two of the other girls followed and said she's in there crying. There is now a horrible atmosphere in the office. She's now back at her desk and ignoring me. The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day. So I've given in and let them use the card. I didn't think B would have the brass neck to order something but she has.

ARGGGGGHHH! Now what?

OP posts:
Littlemissamy · 13/10/2019 23:38

Any payment yet OP? I’m so bizarrely invested in this.

QueenBeex · 14/10/2019 00:06

B has kidnapped the op and won't release her so she can update us unless one of us pay off her £35 debt Wink

AllDaySnacker · 14/10/2019 01:11

I would be incensed. Shameless cheekyfuckery. I wouldn’t be embarrassed to withdraw privileges. You don’t need the extra awkwardness at work which she is generating.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 14/10/2019 01:30

Not true any more. These days bank transfers are in instant unless for thousands of pounds. Seeing as we're talking about lunch money that does not apply even if it is for months worth of the local delis finest.

Bollocks. It varies hugely from bank to bank.

Durgasarrow · 14/10/2019 03:30

If that bitch is short on money, she can make her own damned sandwiches.

Redshoesandtheblues · 14/10/2019 03:33

I was once put in awkward situation with new boyfriend.

We went to his married friend's place. They all ordered Chinese.
I couldn't afford the luxury, so said I had eaten earlier.

No one batted an eye lid.

I was starving, but my point is ...everyone accepted it.

Even when put on the spot, like I was, you can still wriggle out of it.

Your colleague didn't. And then double downed? From 24 to 35 quid?

Ouch. As I said before , I suspect that was a fuck you statement.

And you unlikely to see the monies ( Grin) again.

For what its worth, I use monies as a word very naturally. I defend the hate against monies!

C,' mon its not like saying Vardies, is it? Wink

captainpantbeard · 14/10/2019 06:59

All the stuff about when you pay off your credit card is completely irrelevant. If you’ve put it on your card you are then £5.20 down and should be paid back straightaway. No one should fob you off because ‘it doesn’t have to be paid yet’

Karwomannghia · 14/10/2019 07:10

Has she actually paid you over the weekend?

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 14/10/2019 08:17

Overly invested here so unashamedly waiting for today’s instalment, sorry OPFlowers

Beveren · 14/10/2019 08:19

For me I'd cancel the lunch club completely it's too much hassle and your getting grief for doing a nice thing

It's no hassle apart from the situation with B, though. So the simplest answer is just to exclude B from the lunch club. If anyone claims she's being bullied, they can pay OP back and wait for B to decide to pay them.

MadameButterface · 14/10/2019 08:33

What did she have for lunch that cost £11? Why is hers so much compared to everyone else’s?

Amelia2000 · 14/10/2019 08:37

Oh My God... 800 posts! I haven't read through every single post as yet as I haven't even had a morning coffee, but I will do and will update with the answers to all of your questions ASAP.

Here's a short update in the meantime...

So, I still haven't received any money. She isn't in yet, the weather and traffic outside is horrendous (sirens keep whizzing past). Thinking/hoping she may just be late.

E is here and has asked me if I got anything from her over the weekend. I said no but I am hoping that she just brings the bloody money in today and we can carry on lunching on Friday's with the new rule of money upfront.

At this point I am fully expecting to write off the monies £35.

OP posts:
Amelia2000 · 14/10/2019 08:38

What did she have for lunch that cost £11? Why is hers so much compared to everyone else’s?

She didn't, she had a lunch on the 4th and a lunch on the 11th - £11.

OP posts:
FrankieDoyle · 14/10/2019 08:43

Shock I can't believe she still hasn't paid up!!

custardbear · 14/10/2019 08:46

@Amelia2000 - we're all gobsmacked for you hence the 800 replies

Today, be strong, be calm and if she says you're bullying her again (dickhead) tellnher to cut the histrionics she's currently in debt to you to the tune of £35 which is X weeks worth of lunches and quite frankly she's taking advantage of you and your kindness - tell her she's had a great deal getting 30% discount for her lunch but she's now making you out of pocket by her debt to you and you're not putting up with it - pay up front, or bring sandwiches from home

MsTSwift · 14/10/2019 08:48

It’s actually veering away from CF territory and into theft

NettleTea · 14/10/2019 08:51

No No No do NOT write off the £35

Actually I would speak to HR if she doesnt come up with the readies today - she is creating a difficult working atmosphere and its only going to get worse. And how will the others feel if they pay and you let her off. It will really affect the relationship with them.

Bottledate · 14/10/2019 08:54

By this point I would have written the debt off in my mind and be actively looking forward to ordering for anyone who paid me in cash on Friday on the assumption she would have to go without.

Megsmcgoo · 14/10/2019 08:55

Please don’t write off the money, it’s yours!

I’m sure other colleagues will back you up, I would be inclined not to bother anymore with the credit card though

mummmy2017 · 14/10/2019 09:01

Peer pressure of watching everyone eat and knowing they all know why your not, is the best route

PassMeAnotherCoffee · 14/10/2019 09:05

I agree you shouldn't write off the £35.
Hope she's seen sense over the weekend ...

0lga · 14/10/2019 09:08

Please don’t complain to HR that shes not paid you the money that you lent her. It’s not really their problem and they will suggest you don’t lend money to your colleagues anymore Hmm

The general advice for life is

  1. Don’t borrow or lend money
  2. If you do, don't lend more than you can afford to lose
Amelia2000 · 14/10/2019 09:11

So she's still not here.

Nobody in our department has heard from her, they have all been asking if the lunch situation has been sorted and I said no. They are all gobsmacked! E offered to go to HR to ask where B is (we would have to call into HR if we are late etc). I said no I will go as I want the opportunity to explain about the lunch situation.

Apparently she's off today on annual leave that she arranged on Friday!!! So that's a whole other CF because none of us knew she was going to be off and we haven't been left any notes on her work that we will be expected to pick up on. I mentioned the lunch situation to our HR manager, she has said thanks for letting her know and to keep her informed, if she has to get involved then she will. She has advised that it might be a good idea that we stop the lunches going forward. Which I am now raging about as she has now ruined a good thing for all of us.

OP posts:
MyOtherProfile · 14/10/2019 09:16

HR can't really tell you to stop the lunch thing. Just do as you said and only get for those who pay upfront.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 14/10/2019 09:17

Wow!

She's really showed herself now. I'm sure your colleagues are going to be happy knowing she's fucked up a good thing.

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