Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU over non-paying colleague? Lunch dramas

1000 replies

Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 12:06

I work in an open plan office. Every Friday we order lunch from a local food place. I happen to have a discount credit card for said food outlet, where I receive 30% off. I pay on this credit card and then on the first day of the next month it is paid off via direct debit from my current account. My six other colleagues always pay me in cash on the day (it's usually around/just over £5 each). Sometimes they will bank transfer it to me from their phone if they have forgotten cash. It is a bit of a pain having £30/£40 in cash every week that I then have to put aside rather than spend so that I can put it into the bank to pay off the card every month, but I do it so that we have a nice lunch and that everyone gets to take advantage of the discount. I've ended up getting a little petty cash tin that I keep everyone's money in so that I don't end up frittering it and then having to fork out at the end of the month myself.

There is one person out of the six, let's call her B, that over the last 6 months, always "forgets" her money. It started with me saying "don't worry just bring it in tomorrow" or "I don't have to pay the credit card off until the end of the month so it's OK, just transfer it before then". After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off. This is true, however everyone else has continued to give me their cash. Like I say above, it's kept in my locked drawer in my desk so it's not like I am spending it! I would be happier if everyone paid me directly into my bank at the end of the month if they wanted to, as it would be easier for me than going into town to go into the bank.

So for the last few months I have had to keep a tally of what B has ordered every week and then let her know that's what she owes when it comes towards the end of the month. This worked for a few months, but the money was always late. She would pay on the 4th or the 5th and I would have to ask every day "ah B, have you got that money for me" and end up subbing her.

So it's now the 11th, it's Friday, she hasn't paid me for last month and so I am £24 out of pocket (The direct debit for the card gets taken out of my current account on the 1st). She obviously hasn't paid me for last week (Friday 4th) either. I have asked every single morning, and reminded her every evening. She just says "I've forgotten sorry, will bring it in tomorrow" and then it never happens. I've asked if she would rather transfer it and she has said no. I've started asking in front of other people (it's an open plan office) in the hope that she would be embarrassed into remembering but it doesn't seem to bother her. It's now got to the point where I am fuming!

We just all started talking about lunch this morning and I have said I no longer want to provide the discount card lunch for everyone as I am not getting the money back in full and on time. One of the other girls has said "who's not paying you?", I looked awkward and said "B, I know you keep forgetting but I am £24 out of pocket, and I can't afford to keep doing it". She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets. Two of the other girls followed and said she's in there crying. There is now a horrible atmosphere in the office. She's now back at her desk and ignoring me. The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day. So I've given in and let them use the card. I didn't think B would have the brass neck to order something but she has.

ARGGGGGHHH! Now what?

OP posts:
Ghostontoast · 13/10/2019 12:28

Please don’t hand your card over again - cheeky fucker might order her Friday night dinner on it as well!

Scoobydoobywho · 13/10/2019 12:44

If as pp have suggested she might be struggling financially (which I doubt), she shouldn't then order more food adding to her debt.

CallMeRachel · 13/10/2019 12:52

It looks like the Op has been gobbled up by her greedy work colleague on Friday...Grin

BlackCatSleeping · 13/10/2019 12:56

I honestly can't imagine anyone caring a jot because their coworker opted out of the group treat lunch because they are short of cash. These days almost everyone I know is short of cash, on a diet, cutting back on plastic, low-carbing, vegan, or something else.

BlackCatSleeping · 13/10/2019 12:58

OP is probably just enjoying her weekend and not thinking about work.

caroline161 · 13/10/2019 13:05

Can't wait for next Friday...

NotGoingToFall · 13/10/2019 13:24

Paypal - don't need online banking, only debit or credit catd 👍

username578999 · 13/10/2019 14:25

The op hasn't updated because the cf hasn't paid .
The op doesn't want to make a fuss because when she did speak up on Friday the cf got all tear full .
To me you have 3 choices

  1. insist she pays and cf will not or can't pay so likely this will result in more drama this week .
  2. stop lunch club completely so you don't have to deal with this any longer as it's become a headache, your agreeing to allow other to pay at the end of the month has contributed to this .
  3. insist on payment upfront but this could cause cf the have a strop and the who drama will carry on. For me I'd cancel the lunch club completely it's too much hassle and your getting grief for doing a nice thing .
FelicisNox · 13/10/2019 14:27

Why on earth did you backtrack??

Enough tiptoeing.... get EVERYONE together and have the conversation again. If she claims you are bullying her say: no, YOU are bullying me actually. You are financially abusing me and enough is enough. Everyone pays me x amount on x date and if you don't pay I won't order your lunch. Either that or we can all just agree to bring our own from now on.

She may be experiencing financial problems but that is not an excuse to cause you financial problems and you need to stop being a doormat.

I regularly order food for the teams in my office but everyone gives me the cash BEFORE I order.

Your colleague is a CF and you need to grow a backbone.

altiara · 13/10/2019 15:22

I’d say lunch club is suspended until the £35 is paid (whether by B or the rest of the group) and going forward - all payment to be made into your bank account by Friday ordering time. This way the situation works for you. No point being stressed about having cash when you don’t want it. Change the rules!!!!!!

We had this with lottery club (not the CF, just the being paid by dribs and drabs of cash) so I said either don’t do it or make it work for you.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 13/10/2019 15:54

If she tries run claim she’ll pay you at the end of the month, tell her it hasn’t worked before now so you’re not willing to accept those terms.

Remind her (publicly) that she is a month overdue.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 13/10/2019 15:58

I would email everyone saying that unless the full amount owed to you is in your hands by the end of Wednesday that there will be no discounted lunch on Friday as you will no longer be using your card because you cannot afford some CF taking the piss.

You could say you don't care who pays it. If the rest of them want to pay a share, then she can owe each of them £35/x, then that's fine by you.

See how keen other people are to be out of pocket . . .

SchadenfreudePersonified · 13/10/2019 16:28

Keep chasing the money,

Oh, YES!

Allgirlskidsanddogs · 13/10/2019 17:09

Time to say to everyone that it’s no longer working. b needs to repay the debt before lunch can continue. Maybe some peer pressure can force her hand.

CokeAndCrispsAndDip · 13/10/2019 17:52

I don't think its fair to punish all for one persons arsehole behaviour. Just don't order for her, at all, sod her.

LonginesPrime · 13/10/2019 18:05

I don't think its fair to punish all for one persons arsehole behaviour

But the OP is not god. They will not all die if she doesn't feed them. She was doing them all a favour and has absolutely no obligation to continue to do so every week.

It's not a punishment to not do that favour any more, and any of them who feel entitled to the OP's nice gesture don't deserve it either.

bobsyourauntie · 13/10/2019 18:08

OP, I would get a card like Revolut, which you can see all transactions on, and get notified of transactions, and then get them all to pay bank transfer to that account. Then you can transfer the money to your bank account once a month to pay the credit card bill.

It is no business of CF colleague when you pay the bill. She either abides by the terms of ordering, or doesn't order.

You have done quite well in what you have said so far, but you absolutely need to state the new rules and remind them on Friday.

I would say, if the money is not in my account by noon, then you don't get added to the order. It is not leaving her out, it is her choosing not to abide by the rules. her choice, but she can't complain about it.

If she has financial problems, then she can't afford lunch and just has to suck it up. Again, her choice what she spends her money on.

Don't deprive the others, just make it 100% clear to CF that if she doesn't pay in advance, she doesn't get any food. and STICK TO IT!

familyissue · 13/10/2019 18:41

She has put you in a very difficult position and I think you handled it great!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 13/10/2019 18:43

People suggesting bill-splitting or kitty-account apps and special cards might be missing the point somewhat. They all sound great if people are playing fair and maybe genuinely forget how much they owe or just need a little reminder now and again that they have't yet paid.

B is not like this. OP has spoken to her with no success; even when challenged in public, she doesn't hugely apologise for her continued oversight and settle up immediately - she just throws a tantrum and runs off crying to the the toilets, accusing OP of being a bully for asking for her money to be paid back as was originally agreed.

It's not even like a loan was agreed, it's just that the transaction has to be made by OP on B's behalf, but then she needs to be repaid ASAP. She's already doing the favour by allowing use of her own discount card (fair enough, they all benefit from the combined order qualifying for free delivery) and all of the admin of tracking and processing the payments due - no credit facilities were ever agreed, until B rudely decided that she would delay payment until the end of the month and then refused to even keep to her own imposed terms.

As for her struggling financially, so are loads of us. What you most certainly don't do if you're in that position is wantonly order luxuries with the intention of choosing a patsy (or 'bully', as you might ridiculously misname them) to pay for your lunch as well as their own. OP has said that she budgets carefully for her own treat but genuinely cannot afford (not just 'doesn't want to') to pay for B's treats as well.

Stealing is always wrong, but what B is doing isn't even the equivalent of helping herself from the shelves in Asda - it's more like dipping into an old lady's handbag at the bus stop and taking some banknotes. Oh well, no matter - if she sees you and objects to your thieving from her what she very well may not be able to afford to lose, just run away crying and accuse her of being a bully - that'll make it all right....

GlitterMagicPompom · 13/10/2019 18:49

It’s not just the really ungrateful and unpleasant attitude or the lack of payment, it is the entitled expectation that OP will continue to provide a service / favour and wait patiently until C deems it the time to pay off her debt. And the kicker is that she is treating OP like her own personal accountant /PA, expecting to be handed a detailed account each month of what she owes. This beggars belief. Glad OP that you are putting some ground rules down going forward. I hope you get your money back ASAP and that this week goes without drama.

PepsiLola · 13/10/2019 18:56

Any transfer this weekend @Amelia2000

StillCoughingandLaughing · 13/10/2019 19:00

Even if B has transferred the money, a lot of bank transfers made over a weekend won’t show up until Monday morning, so not much point in constantly checking.

cstaff · 13/10/2019 19:10

As others have suggested OP I would definitely call a halt to this temporarily until you are paid in full. That puts the pressure on the rest of the group to get B to pay up.

If you just stop ordering for B then you don't stand a chance of getting your money back.

billy1966 · 13/10/2019 19:11

I think it's fair to cancel the arrangement as it's no longer working because CF won't pay what she owes.

You are not a lending agency. You should not be out of pocket when you are doing people a favour.

BarbaraofSeville · 13/10/2019 19:11

Not true any more. These days bank transfers are in instant unless for thousands of pounds. Seeing as we're talking about lunch money that does not apply even if it is for months worth of the local delis finest.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.
Swipe left for the next trending thread