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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU over non-paying colleague? Lunch dramas

1000 replies

Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 12:06

I work in an open plan office. Every Friday we order lunch from a local food place. I happen to have a discount credit card for said food outlet, where I receive 30% off. I pay on this credit card and then on the first day of the next month it is paid off via direct debit from my current account. My six other colleagues always pay me in cash on the day (it's usually around/just over £5 each). Sometimes they will bank transfer it to me from their phone if they have forgotten cash. It is a bit of a pain having £30/£40 in cash every week that I then have to put aside rather than spend so that I can put it into the bank to pay off the card every month, but I do it so that we have a nice lunch and that everyone gets to take advantage of the discount. I've ended up getting a little petty cash tin that I keep everyone's money in so that I don't end up frittering it and then having to fork out at the end of the month myself.

There is one person out of the six, let's call her B, that over the last 6 months, always "forgets" her money. It started with me saying "don't worry just bring it in tomorrow" or "I don't have to pay the credit card off until the end of the month so it's OK, just transfer it before then". After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off. This is true, however everyone else has continued to give me their cash. Like I say above, it's kept in my locked drawer in my desk so it's not like I am spending it! I would be happier if everyone paid me directly into my bank at the end of the month if they wanted to, as it would be easier for me than going into town to go into the bank.

So for the last few months I have had to keep a tally of what B has ordered every week and then let her know that's what she owes when it comes towards the end of the month. This worked for a few months, but the money was always late. She would pay on the 4th or the 5th and I would have to ask every day "ah B, have you got that money for me" and end up subbing her.

So it's now the 11th, it's Friday, she hasn't paid me for last month and so I am £24 out of pocket (The direct debit for the card gets taken out of my current account on the 1st). She obviously hasn't paid me for last week (Friday 4th) either. I have asked every single morning, and reminded her every evening. She just says "I've forgotten sorry, will bring it in tomorrow" and then it never happens. I've asked if she would rather transfer it and she has said no. I've started asking in front of other people (it's an open plan office) in the hope that she would be embarrassed into remembering but it doesn't seem to bother her. It's now got to the point where I am fuming!

We just all started talking about lunch this morning and I have said I no longer want to provide the discount card lunch for everyone as I am not getting the money back in full and on time. One of the other girls has said "who's not paying you?", I looked awkward and said "B, I know you keep forgetting but I am £24 out of pocket, and I can't afford to keep doing it". She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets. Two of the other girls followed and said she's in there crying. There is now a horrible atmosphere in the office. She's now back at her desk and ignoring me. The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day. So I've given in and let them use the card. I didn't think B would have the brass neck to order something but she has.

ARGGGGGHHH! Now what?

OP posts:
MidniteScribbler · 13/10/2019 08:13

Unfortunately I think she may be struggling financially and is too embarrassed to tell anyone.

Then you make up an excuse - strict diet, saving for holiday/house/etc, don't like what the restaurant makes. Even just 'I'm having a real push to see how much I can save, so have decided to out buying lunch to save some more money' does the trick. You don't actually need to say that you can't afford it.

Sweetpea55 · 13/10/2019 08:40

If she's struggling financially then she should be bringing in her own packed lunch.
And I don't see how asking for money that you're owed is bullying.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 13/10/2019 08:45

I don't see that you have to stop using the card entirely for the rest of you.

But you'd be an absolute mug to order her anything else on tick, so you do need to be very clear from the start of the week (when she'll almost certainly be off sick or "forget" to have paid you again) that she will not be getting any more food until she clears the balance of what she owes you.

Point out that if she tried this on her credit card, she'd be charged interest for non payment (you can't do this to her, just bring it to her notice how fucking unreasonable she's being).

You're not a bank or a credit company and you do not provide unsecured loans on the never-never so she needs to pay up.

And then stick to it - do not give in under any circumstance, either now or in the future - she's broken your trust, taken the piss completely and is now being a grade A cheeky fucker over it. No more chances for her, EVER.

OatyMcOatface · 13/10/2019 08:47

As your other colleagues dont seem to have an issue with paying in a timely manner I would probably go with "I can't place an order for anyone who hasn't paid for their food the previous week(s). I think that seems pretty fair on those who have paid on time or squared you up within a day or two.

That or just 'forget' to order for B in the same was she 'forgets' to pay. Though that leaves you a bit more open to a bullying a accusation.

insanepizza · 13/10/2019 08:51

Can't believe how cheeky she is 'I will pay at the end of the month like I always do', well she didn't pay you last month so that is rubbish.

No way can you let her order again until she's paid her debt and pays up front.

Blueoasis · 13/10/2019 08:57

She isn't lacking in funds. She just doesn't want to pay. She is a cow.

OP in future don't give your card to the others. Order the lunches yourself, that way you know who has paid and who hasn't, so they don't get fed. Plus it means that the cheeky cow has to speak to you, not others.

CHML1976 · 13/10/2019 09:03

@frazzledasarock I agree but not once has someone seen what the bigger picture is. I wouldn’t do it. But then I don’t work in this office, I don’t know the personality of the other girls and it wasn’t said what was said in the toilets when she was upset, she must have says something. End of the day just don’t buy lunch for people that can’t afford it. Debt in any shape can build up and this woman may think she can pay it off but actually can’t. The longer it goes on the bigger it’s getting for her.

Gbtch · 13/10/2019 09:04

She is taking you for a mug. Which you are!
Stop.

rainbowstardrops · 13/10/2019 09:22

What a CF!!!!!! Shock
Hope she's paid you by now but I don't suppose she has!

ToodlePipsky · 13/10/2019 09:28

I don't think she's lacking in funds either. It's not the impression I get. She's not skint, she's just an entitled tight arse. Having the sheer audacity to order again, and then the obnoxious comment about paying at the end of the month "as usual" despite this situation arising because she doesn't pay at the end of the month, shows she us under the delusion she is doing nothing wrong and is entitled to this little perk at OPs expense.

I have some relatives like this. They are by no means struggling, but like to give people the impression they are and use guilt-trip methods to get the rest of the family to pay for them.

Everyone's gotten mightily pissed off with it now though and its stopped. These relatives have shown no shame in being outright nasty now and refuse to participate in family gatherings and events any more, claiming we are bullying and deliberately excluding them.

And any sort of very occasional minor favour they're asked do for anyone, even for their immobile disabled elderly relatives, they actually demand to be paid for doing it. And then you never hear the end of this perceived MASSIVE favour they've selflessly carried out.

This type of behaviour is deeply ingrained in people like this and they will do anything to either avoid paying their own debts or taking from others at any opportunity. Friends, family, colleagues, friends-of-friends, relatives partners - anyone mildly acquainted with them are all fair game.

insanepizza · 13/10/2019 09:55

I am with others, it is not a skint thing. She hasn't asked for money to feed her kids, or buy tampons or something. She's ordered from a deli a sandwich for about £5.20. If you're skint you say 'sorry all, saving up for something important going to miss the Friday lunch for a couple of months but would love to be able to eat my lunches it's you in the office still'. Throwing tantrums and ordering more. Utter CF.

Moremoneyplease · 13/10/2019 10:03

Waiting to see if the CF has paid up...

pengymum · 13/10/2019 10:05

If she wants to pay at end of month, she can have her food at end of the month! CF!

StillCoughingandLaughing · 13/10/2019 10:09

I know how tough it is when being broke and would you like the rest of the office knowing.

Well the OP is now £35 worse off - she probably can’t afford to lose that either.

Tractorgirlz · 13/10/2019 10:18

Keep chasing the money, get her to pay right up to date then never ever order her anything again unless she pays before you order. You need to get firm.

strawberry2017 · 13/10/2019 10:21

Has she paid up yet? I would say if she hasn't given you the money by Thursday then she doesn't get to join in again. It's her own fault she's caused this herself.

Binting · 13/10/2019 10:30

If she doesn’t pay over the weekend don’t let her debt to you go. Presumably you get paid at the end of the month? Regardless of how you deal with the Friday lunch club, make sure you ask her, in front of people, to pay you the money she owes on payday, and keep asking until she pays.

I don’t think she has any intention of paying you unfortunately, so you need to shame her into it. I really feel for you because I’m one of those people who hates reminding people if they owe me money.

Lhastingsmua · 13/10/2019 10:41

Sorry but many people can relate to being broke and not having the expendable income to eat out. However you don’t then go and rack up food bills on someone else’s account and get annoyed when they ask to be reimbursed! She should have just brought her own lunch in instead of a fancy order!

OldEvilOwl · 13/10/2019 10:45

Cash or bank transfer up front or no lunch! Simple. Hope she pays up Monday OP, otherwise remind her she will not be able to order until she's paid what she already owes. Massive CF

insanepizza · 13/10/2019 10:59

I am with others, it is not a skint thing. She hasn't asked for money to feed her kids, or buy tampons or something. She's ordered from a deli a sandwich for about £5.20. If you're skint you say 'sorry all, saving up for something important going to miss the Friday lunch for a couple of months but would love to be able to eat my lunches it's you in the office still'. Throwing tantrums and ordering more. Utter CF.

myolivetree · 13/10/2019 11:29

Did she pay the 'monies'? Did she pay the 'monies'? !🍿

Oldbird69 · 13/10/2019 12:21

If she wants to pay at end of month, she can have her food at end of the month! CF!

Absolutely this! I'd say it's her bullying you OP, not the other way around. Ow does she know you're not struggling financially?

familyissue · 13/10/2019 12:25

Wow what a CF!

MummyMCM · 13/10/2019 12:27

Dying to know how this turns out!

bakesalesally · 13/10/2019 12:28

Ugh. Some people

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