AIBU over non-paying colleague? Lunch dramas

[Amelia2000]

I work in an open plan office. Every Friday we order lunch from a local food place. I happen to have a discount credit card for said food outlet, where I receive 30% off. I pay on this credit card and then on the first day of the next month it is paid off via direct debit from my current account. My six other colleagues always pay me in cash on the day (it's usually around/just over £5 each). Sometimes they will bank transfer it to me from their phone if they have forgotten cash. It is a bit of a pain having £30/£40 in cash every week that I then have to put aside rather than spend so that I can put it into the bank to pay off the card every month, but I do it so that we have a nice lunch and that everyone gets to take advantage of the discount. I've ended up getting a little petty cash tin that I keep everyone's money in so that I don't end up frittering it and then having to fork out at the end of the month myself.

There is one person out of the six, let's call her B, that over the last 6 months, always "forgets" her money. It started with me saying "don't worry just bring it in tomorrow" or "I don't have to pay the credit card off until the end of the month so it's OK, just transfer it before then". After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off. This is true, however everyone else has continued to give me their cash. Like I say above, it's kept in my locked drawer in my desk so it's not like I am spending it! I would be happier if everyone paid me directly into my bank at the end of the month if they wanted to, as it would be easier for me than going into town to go into the bank.

So for the last few months I have had to keep a tally of what B has ordered every week and then let her know that's what she owes when it comes towards the end of the month. This worked for a few months, but the money was always late. She would pay on the 4th or the 5th and I would have to ask every day "ah B, have you got that money for me" and end up subbing her.

So it's now the 11th, it's Friday, she hasn't paid me for last month and so I am £24 out of pocket (The direct debit for the card gets taken out of my current account on the 1st). She obviously hasn't paid me for last week (Friday 4th) either. I have asked every single morning, and reminded her every evening. She just says "I've forgotten sorry, will bring it in tomorrow" and then it never happens. I've asked if she would rather transfer it and she has said no. I've started asking in front of other people (it's an open plan office) in the hope that she would be embarrassed into remembering but it doesn't seem to bother her. It's now got to the point where I am fuming!

We just all started talking about lunch this morning and I have said I no longer want to provide the discount card lunch for everyone as I am not getting the money back in full and on time. One of the other girls has said "who's not paying you?", I looked awkward and said "B, I know you keep forgetting but I am £24 out of pocket, and I can't afford to keep doing it". She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets. Two of the other girls followed and said she's in there crying. There is now a horrible atmosphere in the office. She's now back at her desk and ignoring me. The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day. So I've given in and let them use the card. I didn't think B would have the brass neck to order something but she has.

ARGGGGGHHH! Now what?

This thread just keeps on giving

Did she pay up at end of Friday work day OP?

Shamelessly place holding 🍿

I disagree about warning people that you want all money upfront in future. You’ve said it once - that should be enough for a group of adults. Also, that means cocky bitch will probably claim she ‘forgot’ you’d asked for money upfront and will turn on the big puppy dog eyes 🥺 Either that or she'll make a big point of saying ‘But I told you I’d pay you at the end of the month!’ In either case, you have a perfect case to refuse to include her in the lunch order. If she ‘forgets’, tell her coldly and calmly that you can’t imagine how that happened, given she made such a fuss about it the week before. If she tries run claim she’ll pay you at the end of the month, tell her it hasn’t worked before now so you’re not willing to accept those terms.

Hope you get your money OP

My ex always used to say ‘when I have some pennies’ used to make me absolutely cringe. She is one money grabbing, cheeky fucker.

Is she mad? You don't pay off your credit card until later but everyone has eaten their food. Send the miser with the cash to get the food, she'll have to pay up if she wants any. Otherwise you have to tell her no money, no order. Say it's unfair on other colleagues who actually pay and ask how she would feel if she was ordering food and someone didn't pay her. Or just stop ordering explaining to others you can't afford to subsidise anyone.

I actually might start using that idea in all areas of my life - especially in shops

Well you aren't going to send the money to the bank until the end of the week so I'll give you the money for the dress I'm walking out with then. Maybe.

No you may not have the money for the tickets for the film I'm about to watch, I'll pay you at the end of the month when you send the accounts through. As usual.

You aren't going to use my council tax money until after the next budget is released so you can have it then. Or I might just cry when you ask me for it.

I was going to do an income tax example bur I'm self employed so I think I do sort of do that anyway :/

The possibilities are (almost) endless.

(And yes, this is a terrible attempt at being entertaining in order to place mark.)

I would say sorry you don't pay so I can't order for you.

Why use the word "sorry"? That sounds like you're apologising. Tell her you are no longer happy with the arrangement of paying at the end of the month. Tell her it is because she hasn't paid you for any of her lunches since the beginning of September.

At this stage I wouldn't even ask her for what you are owed again. She knows she owes it. Come to Friday, gather the money off everyone and place the order. If she pays what she owes PLUS Friday's lunch then order her lunch along with the others. If she doesn't, then don't order her food. Let her complain that she's starving. Nobody will think she has a point.

Payment up front.

"Amelia2000 I would like to order a salad"
"Sure, hand me the £3.00 and I would be more than happy to pick one up for you."

No cash, no food.

Only purchase for the people who hand you money or do a bank transfer immediately.

Also, it sounds like she is the bully. Making you out to be the bad guy and withholding money that it rightfully yours. An emotional bully and technically a thief. Aka a CF.

👀🍿

Isn't it horrible when someone spoils the group dynamic by being utterly selfish. I would email everyone saying that unless the full amount owed to you is in your hands by the end of Wednesday that there will be no discounted lunch on Friday as you will no longer be using your card because you cannot afford some CF taking the piss. You will let every one know on Thursday if you have been paid and lunch club will proceed but with the change that all money must be paid upfront when ordered. Then if she doesn't pay up everyone can blame her and be forewarned to bring lunch for themselves on Friday.

Checking back to see if she actually paid you last night. I hope she did. As much as anything, you don't need the stress this is clearly causing.

Well handled. Posting as I bet she doesnt pay over the weekend.

Get Splitwise!!

It's a free app, where you create a group with individual users - and each month you can type in what is owed.
Each person can mark if they've paid etc.

It would soon look really bad for your colleague who isn't paying!

🍿 anyone?

Sounds like B has worked out how to get a 100% discount from the deli.

Shamelessly placeholding🍿has the cheeky fecker paid up yet?

People like b make my right palm itch with the desire to slap. Obviously, I wouldn't slap her, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't want to.

Unfortunately I think she may be struggling financially and is too embarrassed to tell anyone. As it’s a ‘group’ thing where she is and has been included she may find it difficult to let go. I know how tough it is when being broke and would you like the rest of the office knowing. I agree that it’s not right not paying but perhaps have had a private conversation about if she’s struggling financially (or if there are any problems at home) instead of embarrassing her in front of her work colleagues. She obviously wants to be part of the group string enough that she can’t even afford to eat. Not everyone that has a job can afford to put food on the table.

Hope there's an update?

@CHML1976 so if you couldn’t afford to buy lunch, and you’d been asked to pay for lunches already eaten, you’d throw a tantrum and then order more lunch on someone else’s card?

It’s not the OP’s problem. OP herself can not afford to be feeding this woman.

I’ve been on a budget and I bring sandwiches from home. I’ve never stolen from colleagues because I’d rather eat out.

You are not being unreasonable on being annoyed or upset by it by your colleague not paying, I would be annoyed also. Maybe its come to the time where buying the lunch stops, or everyone starts paying up on the day, before you buy lunch. Out of funds or not, said colleague should not have been ordering lunch if she knew full she could not afford it and expected someone else to foot the cost.
Has said colleague paid up yet for her lunch?

Hope you’ve had a good weekend op hope B comes in with cash on Monday