AIBU over non-paying colleague? Lunch dramas

[Amelia2000]

I work in an open plan office. Every Friday we order lunch from a local food place. I happen to have a discount credit card for said food outlet, where I receive 30% off. I pay on this credit card and then on the first day of the next month it is paid off via direct debit from my current account. My six other colleagues always pay me in cash on the day (it's usually around/just over £5 each). Sometimes they will bank transfer it to me from their phone if they have forgotten cash. It is a bit of a pain having £30/£40 in cash every week that I then have to put aside rather than spend so that I can put it into the bank to pay off the card every month, but I do it so that we have a nice lunch and that everyone gets to take advantage of the discount. I've ended up getting a little petty cash tin that I keep everyone's money in so that I don't end up frittering it and then having to fork out at the end of the month myself.

There is one person out of the six, let's call her B, that over the last 6 months, always "forgets" her money. It started with me saying "don't worry just bring it in tomorrow" or "I don't have to pay the credit card off until the end of the month so it's OK, just transfer it before then". After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off. This is true, however everyone else has continued to give me their cash. Like I say above, it's kept in my locked drawer in my desk so it's not like I am spending it! I would be happier if everyone paid me directly into my bank at the end of the month if they wanted to, as it would be easier for me than going into town to go into the bank.

So for the last few months I have had to keep a tally of what B has ordered every week and then let her know that's what she owes when it comes towards the end of the month. This worked for a few months, but the money was always late. She would pay on the 4th or the 5th and I would have to ask every day "ah B, have you got that money for me" and end up subbing her.

So it's now the 11th, it's Friday, she hasn't paid me for last month and so I am £24 out of pocket (The direct debit for the card gets taken out of my current account on the 1st). She obviously hasn't paid me for last week (Friday 4th) either. I have asked every single morning, and reminded her every evening. She just says "I've forgotten sorry, will bring it in tomorrow" and then it never happens. I've asked if she would rather transfer it and she has said no. I've started asking in front of other people (it's an open plan office) in the hope that she would be embarrassed into remembering but it doesn't seem to bother her. It's now got to the point where I am fuming!

We just all started talking about lunch this morning and I have said I no longer want to provide the discount card lunch for everyone as I am not getting the money back in full and on time. One of the other girls has said "who's not paying you?", I looked awkward and said "B, I know you keep forgetting but I am £24 out of pocket, and I can't afford to keep doing it". She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets. Two of the other girls followed and said she's in there crying. There is now a horrible atmosphere in the office. She's now back at her desk and ignoring me. The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day. So I've given in and let them use the card. I didn't think B would have the brass neck to order something but she has.

ARGGGGGHHH! Now what?

Yes...it’s an actual word and actual, ordinary people use it. My OH and I use it from time to time in conversation, and neither of us have a need to use ‘big words’ to ‘try to sound more intelligent.’

So let me get this correct - “B” didn’t pay at the end of September, and is now telling OP that she will pay “at the end of the month like normal” - so that means she will pay for all of her September AND October lunches at the end of October?! She is one helluva CF!
I get the feeling that she will not pay at all now.
If it was me, I would send a group email out on Monday (paper trail in case “B” gets HR/line manager involved) stating I will continue the Friday lunch arrangement but only for the ones who pay upfront on the day - I would personally go around and take their orders and miss “B” out if she doesn’t pay the outstanding £35 by Friday. That’s how petty I am though. Good luck OP and I keep fingers crossed that you are paid by the CF.

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius whoa.

They are both archaic forms mostly used by lawyers. Monies slightly less archaic than advices, but I am happy to have brought it up for the simple fact both set my teeth on edge 😬

This was yonks ago with my colleague but I actually looked up the whole meaning and history of the word as it pissed me off so much.

She probably will never pay you back. Like you said, there isn't much you can do about it at this point. We don't know what her personal situation is, but she shouldn't keep ordering food she can't pay for. Don't offer to order for her in future. In fact, I agree with PP. Stop doing the Friday lunch. It's not worth the drama. If you continue with everyone except this one person then she will create more drama

My apologies, @FluffyEarMuffs - I should have checked, instead of making a complete prawn of myself.

You know that monies is a proper word.

I do. It's just not necessary when talking about a few quid spent on 'lunch club'

Best bet. Punish them all I.E.
Don’t get nothing for anyone anymore. The message will soon get across to Miss B, as it won’t only you who will be pissed off with her

Monies seems appropriate as we're talking about different sums of money - there are several tranches of debt incurred at different times.

I skipped over the draft emails but I don't see what's wrong with monies if you're trying to be more formal (which presumably was why a firm email was suggested).

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius 😘

Sit every one down and explain that this person owes you money

From now on every one can transfer you the payment to your bank and you won't accept cash on Friday after noon

Don't extend this little bitch any credit ever again. She is a bad payer and a liar about her debt.

Read OPs updates but not RFT. I would tell her that you are not prepared to use your time and energy to keep a log of what she orders throughout the month. (I certainly wouldn't). She can either transfer/pay the money if and when she wants lunch, before it's ordered, or if she has an issue with your new found cash flow, she can absolutely pay full price to the delivery guy. Nobody is forcing her to use your card/the 30% discount. If she wants to, it comes with the condition that it's paid straight away or she can pay the establishment for the full price of her food. No bullying, no exclusion but a very much "either ...or" situation.

@FluffyEarMuffs

It's like she thinks you're somehow taking advantage of the money, or creating a little scheme to get their money with the comments about you not having to pay it off for a while. But that's total nonsense.

That may well be it. I wonder if she’s mistaken your expressed kindness to do a nice thing and help your colleagues to have a weekly lunchtime treat with a hefty discount as a calculated ploy to cash in on them and turn a profit. She thinks she’s seen through your ‘game’ and is, bizarrely, trying to shame you for your ‘racket’!! She sounds like the sort who would never dream of doing a favour for anybody else if there wasn’t something in it for herself, so she tars everybody else with the same brush.

Does she actually realise that you pass on the whole discount that you receive to everybody else? Not to justify her thieving behaviour in any way, but I wonder if she knows a discount is involved but thinks you keep some or all of it and charge the rest at the full standard price. Therefore, she thinks that the discount equates to at least a free lunch out of the total, she is –greedy and a special princess— most in need, so nobody loses out. You just aren’t getting quite as much of the ‘profit’ that she thinks you are.

I’m wondering if she’s one of ‘those’ who would get everybody in a large group at a restaurant to give her the cash, including generous tips, and then offer to go and settle up the total on her card – pocketing the tips and either getting her own meal free or even turning a profit, by stealing the tips from the staff. Amazingly, that sort don’t even see that they’re doing anything wrong as ‘everybody freely paid what they wanted to and the bill was all covered, so no issue there’.

So let me get this correct - “B” didn’t pay at the end of September, and is now telling OP that she will pay “at the end of the month like normal” - so that means she will pay for all of her September AND October lunches at the end of October?!

No, she’s telling the truth that she WILL pay as usual - her usual being NOT to pay. It’s double-negative territory and a roundabout, mealy-mouthed way of stating it, but she’s confirming that, just as she hasn’t previously paid at the end of the month, she will not be paying at the end of THIS month. That’s her established ‘normal’ and, as far as she has arbitrarily decided, a perfectly reasonable arrangement.

Strikeout fail, but I meant every word!!

Has this thread now seriously turned into people calling users of the word ‘monies’ pretentious??

I didn’t realise it was pretentious to use the correct word in the correct context. Usually mumsnetters are all for absolutely proper grammar and spelling, etc. Very strange turn of events. It’s not pretentious. You just sound ignorant thinking it is. 🤷🏻‍♀️

They are both archaic forms mostly used by lawyers

This. I’m a lawyer btw.

I wouldn’t be surprised if B is off sick on Monday with ‘stress’ because she’s been so upset due to the naming and shaming, poor lamb.

So glad you have the support of E who didn't just sit on their hands and silently condone B's behaviour like the others did. Saying nothing is shitty when OP needs support.

I'd go for the line of £X credit every week paid to OP if you want to be part of lunch club and use their discount card. You'll never be in arrears and any money left in a person's float will be refunded if they ever leave. You're not a credit facility for anyone. Anyone who doesn't agree doesn't use the card. And all arrears to be paid in full immediately - your card, your rules and if anyone complains point them in B's direction...

I would carry on as normal with the others next Friday. I would not put round a notice as the only person messing it up knows what she has to do, the others are fine. Come Friday I would not include her. Act like she's not there. Perhaps warn the others you won't be asking her so they shouldn't either. However, that might need thinking about whether to do it or not as it could be construed as deliberate excluding.

If she has the temerity to say I want to order this say, yes, fine but I need immediate payment of that and the backlog. Put in your order and enjoy your sandwiches. Perhaps say out loud but as if to yourself, "mmm, that's so good" or something but don't overegg it. If she doesn't have lunch that day then tough.

I think you should think about pre-empting her accusing you of bullying her with HR. You might want to get your version on record first. I don't know what would be best regarding that.

Right, getting your money back. I can't think how without making more waves. What a cow.

I think B will come in on Friday with a fiver for that day's lunch and say she'll pay off her debt *vague date in the future as "agreed"

For the love of God don't fall for it!

@SongforSal you guys really do need to get together and stamp that shit out fast! If everybody is on the same page and refuses to pay for her/ give her their own sandwich(!!) she can't do it. And/or get the bravest/most senior person to cal her out on it "forgotten your lunch money again today Linda? You seem to do that quite a lot don't you. I do hope you have a better memory when it comes to doing your work."

Stop paying for everyone's lunches. Simple. Some people take advantage of kind people and will see you as a pushover. Confront your colleague and explain to others that you will no longer pay for lunches. It's causing too much trouble.

I wouldn’t be surprised if B is off sick on Monday

She'll be off spending her monies.

Thank you Pancake - it is a real word.

Not like "advices" that Fluffy mentions (though "advises" is a real word, but not a noun)

Place marking need to know if the B the biggest Cf I've read pays up on Monday or throws a Dickie

They are both archaic forms mostly used by lawyers

Really?

"Advices" is a word?

Then I stand corrected.

< bows head >

I would say sorry you don't pay so I can't order for you. Let her cry about it. She's a freeloader.