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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU over non-paying colleague? Lunch dramas

1000 replies

Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 12:06

I work in an open plan office. Every Friday we order lunch from a local food place. I happen to have a discount credit card for said food outlet, where I receive 30% off. I pay on this credit card and then on the first day of the next month it is paid off via direct debit from my current account. My six other colleagues always pay me in cash on the day (it's usually around/just over £5 each). Sometimes they will bank transfer it to me from their phone if they have forgotten cash. It is a bit of a pain having £30/£40 in cash every week that I then have to put aside rather than spend so that I can put it into the bank to pay off the card every month, but I do it so that we have a nice lunch and that everyone gets to take advantage of the discount. I've ended up getting a little petty cash tin that I keep everyone's money in so that I don't end up frittering it and then having to fork out at the end of the month myself.

There is one person out of the six, let's call her B, that over the last 6 months, always "forgets" her money. It started with me saying "don't worry just bring it in tomorrow" or "I don't have to pay the credit card off until the end of the month so it's OK, just transfer it before then". After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off. This is true, however everyone else has continued to give me their cash. Like I say above, it's kept in my locked drawer in my desk so it's not like I am spending it! I would be happier if everyone paid me directly into my bank at the end of the month if they wanted to, as it would be easier for me than going into town to go into the bank.

So for the last few months I have had to keep a tally of what B has ordered every week and then let her know that's what she owes when it comes towards the end of the month. This worked for a few months, but the money was always late. She would pay on the 4th or the 5th and I would have to ask every day "ah B, have you got that money for me" and end up subbing her.

So it's now the 11th, it's Friday, she hasn't paid me for last month and so I am £24 out of pocket (The direct debit for the card gets taken out of my current account on the 1st). She obviously hasn't paid me for last week (Friday 4th) either. I have asked every single morning, and reminded her every evening. She just says "I've forgotten sorry, will bring it in tomorrow" and then it never happens. I've asked if she would rather transfer it and she has said no. I've started asking in front of other people (it's an open plan office) in the hope that she would be embarrassed into remembering but it doesn't seem to bother her. It's now got to the point where I am fuming!

We just all started talking about lunch this morning and I have said I no longer want to provide the discount card lunch for everyone as I am not getting the money back in full and on time. One of the other girls has said "who's not paying you?", I looked awkward and said "B, I know you keep forgetting but I am £24 out of pocket, and I can't afford to keep doing it". She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets. Two of the other girls followed and said she's in there crying. There is now a horrible atmosphere in the office. She's now back at her desk and ignoring me. The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day. So I've given in and let them use the card. I didn't think B would have the brass neck to order something but she has.

ARGGGGGHHH! Now what?

OP posts:
Beveren · 12/10/2019 16:32

Why do you have to keep the money till the end of the month. Just pay it to your credit card. It will be in credit for a few days

How is this relevant? Surely it's no-one's business but OP's how she organises her finances?

Even if the balance is cleared, I don't think the OP should be ordering for them again. It's absurd - It will most likely happen again, leaving OP out of pocket for a while. It isn't worth it.

If she leaves B out of the picture, there's no reason to believe the problem will happen again given that the others have paid reliably so far.

Didntwanttochangemyname · 12/10/2019 16:47

I'm so invested in this right now...

Mouikey · 12/10/2019 16:49

Just read the whole of the thread! I can’t believe how b acted on Friday.

Op you need to be very careful about all of this, being clear about the debt and it not being cleared is critical as anything that suggests you are specifically excluding b could be considered bullying (I know it’s not and definitely not your intention, but a half story to the director from b could result in being £35 out of pocket and a work headache larger than you have now).

I’m almost certain you won’t get the money by next Friday,I’m also certain that she will also try to order again, if not dare I say she will be sick at some point this week. As others have said be clear with you expectations... no sorry, no I need to pay my credit card but b you need to repay the £35 by x date. If it’s not paid by then I will not permit you to use my card to order lunch on Friday or any other day until it is repaid in full. Going forward I would expect cash, bt or Paypal to me Friday morning prior to the order being placed and received - no payment, no order via my card.

Looking forward to hearing your updates this week!

CornishCreation · 12/10/2019 16:55

I would just exclude her entirely, she doesn't respect you and her response shows how self absorbed she is, you're being used and allowing it, if you say to everyone they can't use the card until B pays up, either she'll feel pressured to or someone else will lend it to her and then it's their problem but don't include her again as she obviously doesn't consider you a very high priority when organising her finances.

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 12/10/2019 17:07

How is this relevant? Surely it's no-one's business but OP's how she organises her finances?

It’s relevant because op was saying how she worries about the money being used so sets it aside. I was simply saying you don't have to wait till the credit card bill comes in, that the sandwich money can be paid to the cc whenever.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 12/10/2019 17:18

@ThatssomebadhatHarry - the OP said, in one of her earlier posts, that she doesn’t want the hassle of going to the bank every time she gets given the money.

TessTackle · 12/10/2019 17:46

Place mark.

Pinkdhalia · 12/10/2019 17:54

it's your card your discount! end of! continue as you please to give your colleagues use of the discount. i'd make a chart for the wall to show bought paid owed! so that everyone can see what's going on. i wouldn't let B have use explaining to her that paying for her food is actually bullying!! and that she'd need to bring her own lunch from now on!

Ponoka7 · 12/10/2019 17:55

HR, or work wouldn't get involved in this. They'd likely put a stop to it.

I've had similar cheekyfuckery where ever I've worked. Ours used to be a monthly treat, which someone spoilt.

We've had people doing, makeup, or allowing people to use their Very/Studio catalogues and it's had to end because shamelessly people think they don't have to pay on time.

It's got to ne money, or bank transfer upfront, with no exceptions.

omikron · 12/10/2019 17:56

All the use of 'monies' is absolutely cringe worthy.. and some of the suggested emails are awful considering there supposed to be sent to people you need to work with on a daily basis.

Wherearemycrayons · 12/10/2019 17:57

@omikron can’t stand monies 😂 @Amelia2000 she is a massive cheeky fucker and I really hope you get your money back!

Ponoka7 · 12/10/2019 17:58

"i'd make a chart for the wall to show bought paid owed!"

Again, that wouldn't be allowed in a workplace.

Thinking further, we've even had Birthday/Christmas collections/Secret Santa banned or ruined. It's never been by people who are skint either.

CherryBathBomb · 12/10/2019 18:00

'Monies' is right up there with 'vom' Grin

peachdribble · 12/10/2019 18:02

Yikes what a manipulative cf! If the others feel sorry for her then they can pay for her, so she can owe them the money instead. From now on only take money up front - it’s very kind of you to do this at all- people will soon adjust. Good luck!

Bunnyfuller · 12/10/2019 18:02

The CF blanks you because you’ve asked her to pay you money SHE owes and then orders MORE food for free?!

They pay weekly in advance, or no lunch. A nice chat where you explain you’re happy to share but you can’t afford to subsidise anyone, over and above the discount. Could EVERYONE pay by bank transfer every Monday or no lunch.

Is there nowhere else anyone can get lunch? Can no one bring packed lunch in?!

SchadenfreudePersonified · 12/10/2019 18:09

All the use of 'monies' is absolutely cringe worthy

I like "monies".

Is a nice word.

Archaic.

omikron · 12/10/2019 18:11

People are using 'monies' to seem all intelligent and serious Envy

Actually this thread is reminding me why I don't miss working in an office. Ditto the one with the colleague checking on people's hours

Angiemum24 · 12/10/2019 18:18

Just looking to see if C.F ms B paid?
I can’t believe she ordered again! I would have got it and shoved it up her Ar*e!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 12/10/2019 18:18

Maybe they are intelligent and serious, @omikron? I don’t think people who don’t say it are thick and frivolous, but equally I don’t see anything wrong with being serious and using different words...

FluffyEarMuffs · 12/10/2019 18:29

@omikron yup on monies.

Ditto "advices". I had a colleague who used to say that thinking it made him sound intelligent. I wanted to say, it's advice you pretentious twat 😆

TriciaH87 · 12/10/2019 18:30

Now you tell them all that u til b has paid you back you will not be allowing her to order using it. If she has not paid it back by next Thursday I suggest reminding everyone they need to bring lunch on Friday as your not doing it anymore. As for b saying that your taking the mo ey before the bill is due point out they all are the food before the bill is due too and do you cannot return the food to refund the cost. If they went to a restaurant they pay for it at the time not on their next pay day

PancakeAndKeith · 12/10/2019 18:39

You know that monies is a proper word and and some made up shit like holibobs and famalam, right?

PancakeAndKeith · 12/10/2019 18:39

‘NOT some made up shit’, that should say.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 12/10/2019 18:40

@FluffyEarMuffs - the difference is that monies is an actual word, whereas advices is not - so it’s not a reasonable comparison. You may think it is pretentious to use the word monies - but that is simply an opinion, whereas when you criticise your colleague (even silently) for using a word that is completely wrong, that is fact, of opinion, and you are entirely correct.

NowWhatUsernameShallIHave · 12/10/2019 18:41

Do you have a PayPal account? We’ve set up a pool and everyone pays into it.
Just send an email round with the link and tell people to transfer the money by Thursday COP and whoever has paid will get lunch ordered. People can also see who has paid.
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