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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU over non-paying colleague? Lunch dramas

1000 replies

Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 12:06

I work in an open plan office. Every Friday we order lunch from a local food place. I happen to have a discount credit card for said food outlet, where I receive 30% off. I pay on this credit card and then on the first day of the next month it is paid off via direct debit from my current account. My six other colleagues always pay me in cash on the day (it's usually around/just over £5 each). Sometimes they will bank transfer it to me from their phone if they have forgotten cash. It is a bit of a pain having £30/£40 in cash every week that I then have to put aside rather than spend so that I can put it into the bank to pay off the card every month, but I do it so that we have a nice lunch and that everyone gets to take advantage of the discount. I've ended up getting a little petty cash tin that I keep everyone's money in so that I don't end up frittering it and then having to fork out at the end of the month myself.

There is one person out of the six, let's call her B, that over the last 6 months, always "forgets" her money. It started with me saying "don't worry just bring it in tomorrow" or "I don't have to pay the credit card off until the end of the month so it's OK, just transfer it before then". After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off. This is true, however everyone else has continued to give me their cash. Like I say above, it's kept in my locked drawer in my desk so it's not like I am spending it! I would be happier if everyone paid me directly into my bank at the end of the month if they wanted to, as it would be easier for me than going into town to go into the bank.

So for the last few months I have had to keep a tally of what B has ordered every week and then let her know that's what she owes when it comes towards the end of the month. This worked for a few months, but the money was always late. She would pay on the 4th or the 5th and I would have to ask every day "ah B, have you got that money for me" and end up subbing her.

So it's now the 11th, it's Friday, she hasn't paid me for last month and so I am £24 out of pocket (The direct debit for the card gets taken out of my current account on the 1st). She obviously hasn't paid me for last week (Friday 4th) either. I have asked every single morning, and reminded her every evening. She just says "I've forgotten sorry, will bring it in tomorrow" and then it never happens. I've asked if she would rather transfer it and she has said no. I've started asking in front of other people (it's an open plan office) in the hope that she would be embarrassed into remembering but it doesn't seem to bother her. It's now got to the point where I am fuming!

We just all started talking about lunch this morning and I have said I no longer want to provide the discount card lunch for everyone as I am not getting the money back in full and on time. One of the other girls has said "who's not paying you?", I looked awkward and said "B, I know you keep forgetting but I am £24 out of pocket, and I can't afford to keep doing it". She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets. Two of the other girls followed and said she's in there crying. There is now a horrible atmosphere in the office. She's now back at her desk and ignoring me. The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day. So I've given in and let them use the card. I didn't think B would have the brass neck to order something but she has.

ARGGGGGHHH! Now what?

OP posts:
Fredastaireatemyjamsandwich · 12/10/2019 12:50

There’s 5% of me feels sorry forB, as she may have money worries and may be struggling, but if that is the case she should be bringing lunch in with her. Agree with others, just get money up front, or you won’t place order for them. They should just transfer money to you, and you can then pay that straight off on your card. I often pay odd amounts mid-month on my cc, if I get overtime, bonus etc, as it stops it sitting in my bank account saying ‘spend me’.

Blindspotfan · 12/10/2019 13:03

OP What do they have for lunch on the other days at work?

Just say "this has all been getting stressful recently and as you are now out of pocket you will no longer be using your discount card or credit card. Everyone will have to make their own arrangements like they do Mon-Thurs"

Alternatively you could say "they can use your discount card for the small cafe so they pay less but ask some else to use their bank or credit card?"

Interestingly what do they have for lunch on the others days at work? They won't starve as they can do the same on Fridays!

Personally I would stop this arrangement for all and on Monday announce to everyone to get their own discount card and make their own lunch arrangements from this week. Then publicly either thank CF for eventually paying or if she hasn't ask her if she's got the £35 she owes you as you need it now. If she doesn't pay pretend to run to the toilets and gave a few crocodile tears!! (Only joking on the last bit! 😊)

Kisskiss · 12/10/2019 13:10

What a cow. She should pay you before she eats, you’re already doing a massive favour by letting her use your discount card, doing the ordering /collecting cash etc.
Happy to see someone stood up for you too

Sodamncaughtinthemiddle · 12/10/2019 13:14

I work in an open plan office and get that you don't want to make a fuss in front of senior management. However she has behaved awfully and she needs to be shamed every day until she pays.
Her ordering food on Friday is shocking in its rudeness

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 12/10/2019 13:17
Flowers
Cleopatrai · 12/10/2019 13:27

Shameless placemarking

butterybiscuitbasic · 12/10/2019 13:29

@Blindspotfan I read the op that it’s using the credit card that allows for the discount as opposed to say a Taste card or whatever.

openitsoicanseeyousmile · 12/10/2019 13:34

I would carry on with the others who do what they should, but I would say to her... nope, it doesn't work, you're always late in paying me. Money upfront, or you can get your own lunch. I won't be doing it for you unless I have the cash first'

No bloody way! They're rude arses too - Complainjng loudly that they won't be getting any lunch off the back of the OP generously letting them use her 30% off and financing it upfront

Fuck then all off, I say.

Wonkybanana · 12/10/2019 13:40

No bloody way! They're rude arses too - Complainjng loudly that they won't be getting any lunch

I don't think they're that bad. They're used to their Friday treat lunch (which the pay for), and OP says that they're a long way from anywhere to get food, so I'm guessing that Mon - Thurs they bring their own lunch but not on Friday, so they would genuinely have struggled. And my reading of the OP was that the accusations of bullying came from B, not the others. E at least seems to get it, but the OP hasn't said anything about how the others reacted.

diddl · 12/10/2019 13:41

I agree that the others are also rude.

They should have offered to stop the thing imo.

diddl · 12/10/2019 13:43

" Mon - Thurs they bring their own lunch but not on Friday, so they would genuinely have struggled."

So I'm guessing that Op has never been off unexpectedly.

Or is she was she emailed them all early enough for them to make a pack up!

Or, they could have used the same place without discount!

Blindspotfan · 12/10/2019 13:53

@butterybiscuitbasic oh! I misunderstood.
Actually I would just say no longer using my credit card, order your own, paying full price or bring your own from home. Friday lunch ordering in bulk with discount was a treat and a as your goodwill has now been abused, you've no choice but to put and end to it all

notapizzaeater · 12/10/2019 14:05

I can't believe the cheek of her, could you replace her in the group with another person to make sure you hit the free delivery ?

PancakeAndKeith · 12/10/2019 14:06

Shamelessly hanging on here to find out if B has transferred the money.

0lga · 12/10/2019 14:14

Am I the only person who is wondering why the OP, who is “ always skint” , is spending a fiver a week and getting all this grief by having lunch with a group of colleagues who clearly don’t even like her ?

I’d be saying that I was on a healthy eating / saving money kick and bring a salad / soup from home instead.

CherryBathBomb · 12/10/2019 14:15

Placemarking Wink

quincejamplease · 12/10/2019 14:23

There's already more than enough detail on this thread for the op to be identifiable to everyone involved. I doubt B would need the name of the credit card to recognise herself being discussed here. Although I imagine it would eliminate any remaining plausible deniability to add in that and the name of the food place!

"Outing" / identifiable doesn't mean every single random person reading the thread has be able to deduce the identities of the op / people involved. One person being able to recognise them is enough for it to be classed as identifiable.

wildflowersandweeds · 12/10/2019 14:41

Message everyone on Monday saying that unless the balance is cleared you won't be doing ordering Friday.
Message again on Thursday letting them know lunch club is cancelled. That way you're giving people fair notice and you'll have them all on side!

And put in writing that you need payment before the order is placed.

openitsoicanseeyousmile · 12/10/2019 15:24

Even if the balance is cleared, I don't think the OP should be ordering for them again. It's absurd - It will most likely happen again, leaving OP out of pocket for a while. It isn't worth it.

None of them sound like great colleagues and they're all very rude for complaining loudly that 'they don't have any lunch now'. A bunch of bloody grown adults, more than capable of feeding themselves by using their legs and walking to a shop if they need a cheap option and don't want to order in themselves for the full price. I don't hear of a single soul speaking up to say that isn't fair, and the OP is going them a lovely favour by ordering in at all.

OP, I would've been so tempted when B said "I'll pay you at the end of the month as planned" to go over and spit on her food, or snatch it and tip it onto her head.

You're not the CEO or Mr MD. Stop doing something so beneficial to these people, with all the hassle that comes with it such as having to keep petty cash, etc.

TanyaChix · 12/10/2019 15:42

Ran off in the toilets crying?! She sounds absolutely pathetic. She owes you money for loads of lunches; you’ve asked and asked and asked and asked. If she repeatedly can’t remember to pay then she shouldn’t allow you to purchase them for her. Continue doing what you are doing for anyone that pays and just say that the arrangement clearly isn’t working for her so she’ll need to sort out her own lunches. She’s a grown adult and needs to start acting like one.

MouthyHarpy · 12/10/2019 16:05

Would be interested in the CF internal justification for not paying. She must have justified this to herself somehow.

I think it’s what Amelia said in her OP - that this awful thieving colleague has justified it to herself that Amelia is somehow “making” money from her colleagues by collecting the cash each week, when she pays off her credit card at the end of the month.

Somehow this awful CF has persuaded herself that the OP is cheating her

hardyloveit · 12/10/2019 16:25

Op. What do you all do for lunch on the days you don't do this?

madeyemoodysmum · 12/10/2019 16:29

Those taste cards often offer 30% off

DamonSalvatoresDinner · 12/10/2019 16:30

There's a lot of people saying "stop doing it" but it's a treat on Fridays for everyone in the office including the OP. She would also be losing out by stopping it entirely. The discount is from her card, yes, but I assume the 30% saving to just her would be wiped out by her now having to pay a delivery charge as the order is too small to qualify for free delivery.

The OP is wanting to stop CFer from ordering, not everyone. Just one single cheeky fucker. One.

TellMeWhoTheVilliansAre · 12/10/2019 16:31

When she said she'd pay "end of the month, as normal" did you point out she didn't pay you at all in September and you are now into the second week of October?

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