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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU over non-paying colleague? Lunch dramas

1000 replies

Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 12:06

I work in an open plan office. Every Friday we order lunch from a local food place. I happen to have a discount credit card for said food outlet, where I receive 30% off. I pay on this credit card and then on the first day of the next month it is paid off via direct debit from my current account. My six other colleagues always pay me in cash on the day (it's usually around/just over £5 each). Sometimes they will bank transfer it to me from their phone if they have forgotten cash. It is a bit of a pain having £30/£40 in cash every week that I then have to put aside rather than spend so that I can put it into the bank to pay off the card every month, but I do it so that we have a nice lunch and that everyone gets to take advantage of the discount. I've ended up getting a little petty cash tin that I keep everyone's money in so that I don't end up frittering it and then having to fork out at the end of the month myself.

There is one person out of the six, let's call her B, that over the last 6 months, always "forgets" her money. It started with me saying "don't worry just bring it in tomorrow" or "I don't have to pay the credit card off until the end of the month so it's OK, just transfer it before then". After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off. This is true, however everyone else has continued to give me their cash. Like I say above, it's kept in my locked drawer in my desk so it's not like I am spending it! I would be happier if everyone paid me directly into my bank at the end of the month if they wanted to, as it would be easier for me than going into town to go into the bank.

So for the last few months I have had to keep a tally of what B has ordered every week and then let her know that's what she owes when it comes towards the end of the month. This worked for a few months, but the money was always late. She would pay on the 4th or the 5th and I would have to ask every day "ah B, have you got that money for me" and end up subbing her.

So it's now the 11th, it's Friday, she hasn't paid me for last month and so I am £24 out of pocket (The direct debit for the card gets taken out of my current account on the 1st). She obviously hasn't paid me for last week (Friday 4th) either. I have asked every single morning, and reminded her every evening. She just says "I've forgotten sorry, will bring it in tomorrow" and then it never happens. I've asked if she would rather transfer it and she has said no. I've started asking in front of other people (it's an open plan office) in the hope that she would be embarrassed into remembering but it doesn't seem to bother her. It's now got to the point where I am fuming!

We just all started talking about lunch this morning and I have said I no longer want to provide the discount card lunch for everyone as I am not getting the money back in full and on time. One of the other girls has said "who's not paying you?", I looked awkward and said "B, I know you keep forgetting but I am £24 out of pocket, and I can't afford to keep doing it". She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets. Two of the other girls followed and said she's in there crying. There is now a horrible atmosphere in the office. She's now back at her desk and ignoring me. The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day. So I've given in and let them use the card. I didn't think B would have the brass neck to order something but she has.

ARGGGGGHHH! Now what?

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 12/10/2019 11:23

crunchy do you think you might be just a little over invested here?

verytiredandstressed · 12/10/2019 11:24

To think @Crunchymum has missed the point of this thread Hmm....

23Squared · 12/10/2019 11:25

I hope you have had the transfer by now, OP! She is a definite CF!

BatshitBertha · 12/10/2019 11:25

@Crunchymum is derailing the thread Hmm

Crunchymum · 12/10/2019 11:27

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PurpleDaisies · 12/10/2019 11:28

The op isn’t obliged to give away personal details to you crunchy. I don’t know why you feel you’re entitled to them.

Pantalaimon88 · 12/10/2019 11:28

It sounds like it’s a type of storecard for a small deli. Perhaps OP used to work there, or knows somebody who does, and so gets these perks?

nettie434 · 12/10/2019 11:36

I expect it is part of a packaged bank account. Somebody mentioned HSBC earlier on. They have an Advance account which comes with offers and discounts. I am with Santander and they have lots of retailer offers which you can use with your debit or credit card. It's probably something like that. Not that it makes any difference to the situation described by the OP. As SongforSal's post shows, the problem would probably have arisen even without the discount.

Blueoasis · 12/10/2019 11:40

You really are just making yourself look stupid now @Crunchymum. Quit while you're ahead.

Squoozie · 12/10/2019 11:41

I do believe Crunchy is insinuating, in a round about way, that OP is a troll. And if she believes this, then she should report to MN instead of trying to be clever.

Crunchymum · 12/10/2019 11:42

Thanks @nettie434 and @Pantalaimon88

Both explanations make possible sense.

I wasn't asking for personal details!!!

Crunchymum · 12/10/2019 11:45

Not at all @Squoozie
Please don't put words in my mouth.

I was just asking about the type of card as I've never heard of such a good discount for an extended period. Other posters vouch such things exist, and I accept that.

astridstar · 12/10/2019 11:45

You can, I'm about to take the family out for a Nando's lunch and will be getting g a 20% discount. Admittedly this is via showing my NHS ID badge, but I've also an NHS benefit card which is basically a credit/debit card run by visa which you preload and get cash back at retailers (more than Quidco/TopCashback) or discounts. As part of it you can also get other evouchers or reloadable cards that are shop/restaurant specific that give really good discounts. Similar schemes are available for the police, armed forces etc

frazzledasarock · 12/10/2019 11:48

@Crunchymum AMEX have a dining discount credit card.

My union does a credit card which gives me cash back at some places.

Crunchymum · 12/10/2019 11:49

Again, thanks @astridstar

I stand corrected about the existence of such discount cards and appreciate you explaining it to me.

DamonSalvatoresDinner · 12/10/2019 11:49

My husband gets a percentage back from various stores just on his debit card with BoS and I've had credit cards that offer discounts at certain shops too. As the OP says it's an independent deli type place, the offer would be of no use to anyone but people in her area so information not needed to be shared.

@Amelia2000 do you have an update/payment yet?

PayPal rather than cash is probably the best option for everyone to make their payments as the receipt is clear to see with the touch of an app. However, if you do choose PayPal, make sure no one pays by goods and services because you will be charged 3.4% of the transaction plus a 20p flat fee meaning you'll always be out of pocket. If you tell CFer to pay you by PayPal (which you should because she can't use the excuse of no online banking) no doubt she will try the Goods and services option so tell her that it's friends and family payment ONLY. No excuses.

Good luck.

CathyorClaire · 12/10/2019 11:52

maybe she hasn't realised how much she owes you and is struggling for money hense the crying

How can not have realised when she's had a bespoke bill presented to her on a regular basis for months?

And if she is struggling for money shouldn't she be thinking twice before continuing to order gourmet goodies on a weekly basis?

She's behaved appallingly throughout this whole process. If I were OP I'd be ending the arrangement with her even if she does cough up which seems increasingly unlikely. Far too much maintenance having to be carried out for what is basically a favour.

astridstar · 12/10/2019 11:54

@Crunchymum Smile

EmpressJewel · 12/10/2019 12:00

I've just been watching Judge Judy and she just said

'You eat the steak.... you pay for it.

Judys judgement is final.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 12/10/2019 12:02

^see!! Grin

onalongsabbatical · 12/10/2019 12:05

Maybe she is struggling for money but if you're struggling for money you just say I'm ok with bringing my own lunch, ta, and you make a bloody sandwich and bring it in, you don't steal from your kind co-worker ffs.

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 12/10/2019 12:09

Why do you have to keep the money till the end of the month. Just pay it too your credit card. It will be in credit for a few days. I do this all the time when I buy something big, easier to get it sorted if there is a problem on a credit card. I will transfer the money for said item from current account to credit card the day I spend it, i never wait for the bill. My credit card often says I have a full balance but the available balance will be deducted instantly.

Ninkaninus · 12/10/2019 12:09

Yes...if you’re struggling for money you make yourself a packed lunch. You don’t steal from a colleague to fund a takeaway!!

CathyorClaire · 12/10/2019 12:18

DragonMamma

Organising office social events is totally thankless. If you're the one who's drawn the short straw kind enough to bother make it clear next time that deposits have to be paid upfront by X date and if they are not or if there isn't enough in the kitty people either won't go or the event will be cancelled.

LipSyncForYourLife · 12/10/2019 12:18

CFs use their victim’s embarrassment to get what they want. They know the embarrassed party will back down rather than cause an uncomfortable scene. It is so manipulative. Once you realise this and see it in action it is easier to overcome feeling awkward and stand your ground. After-all, it is their own CFuckery that is causing the situation.

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