AIBU over non-paying colleague? Lunch dramas

[Amelia2000]

I work in an open plan office. Every Friday we order lunch from a local food place. I happen to have a discount credit card for said food outlet, where I receive 30% off. I pay on this credit card and then on the first day of the next month it is paid off via direct debit from my current account. My six other colleagues always pay me in cash on the day (it's usually around/just over £5 each). Sometimes they will bank transfer it to me from their phone if they have forgotten cash. It is a bit of a pain having £30/£40 in cash every week that I then have to put aside rather than spend so that I can put it into the bank to pay off the card every month, but I do it so that we have a nice lunch and that everyone gets to take advantage of the discount. I've ended up getting a little petty cash tin that I keep everyone's money in so that I don't end up frittering it and then having to fork out at the end of the month myself.

There is one person out of the six, let's call her B, that over the last 6 months, always "forgets" her money. It started with me saying "don't worry just bring it in tomorrow" or "I don't have to pay the credit card off until the end of the month so it's OK, just transfer it before then". After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off. This is true, however everyone else has continued to give me their cash. Like I say above, it's kept in my locked drawer in my desk so it's not like I am spending it! I would be happier if everyone paid me directly into my bank at the end of the month if they wanted to, as it would be easier for me than going into town to go into the bank.

So for the last few months I have had to keep a tally of what B has ordered every week and then let her know that's what she owes when it comes towards the end of the month. This worked for a few months, but the money was always late. She would pay on the 4th or the 5th and I would have to ask every day "ah B, have you got that money for me" and end up subbing her.

So it's now the 11th, it's Friday, she hasn't paid me for last month and so I am £24 out of pocket (The direct debit for the card gets taken out of my current account on the 1st). She obviously hasn't paid me for last week (Friday 4th) either. I have asked every single morning, and reminded her every evening. She just says "I've forgotten sorry, will bring it in tomorrow" and then it never happens. I've asked if she would rather transfer it and she has said no. I've started asking in front of other people (it's an open plan office) in the hope that she would be embarrassed into remembering but it doesn't seem to bother her. It's now got to the point where I am fuming!

We just all started talking about lunch this morning and I have said I no longer want to provide the discount card lunch for everyone as I am not getting the money back in full and on time. One of the other girls has said "who's not paying you?", I looked awkward and said "B, I know you keep forgetting but I am £24 out of pocket, and I can't afford to keep doing it". She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets. Two of the other girls followed and said she's in there crying. There is now a horrible atmosphere in the office. She's now back at her desk and ignoring me. The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day. So I've given in and let them use the card. I didn't think B would have the brass neck to order something but she has.

ARGGGGGHHH! Now what?

Can someone anyone tell me which magical card offers 30% off takeaways please?

^The HSBC credit card offers this at participating places, I think.

I think, OP, you have just paid £24 for a hard lesson in human nature. Withdraw the offer of your discount and let the others pay full price for supporting a CF instead of the person who was doing them a favour.

They won’t like it, however, even if, (in fact, especially because,) they were in the wrong to make you feel guilty about the person who faked a crying fit rather than coughing up her dues.

Another hard lesson about human nature is that you can be a hundred per cent in the right and still be treated as if in the wrong.

That’s what I think too. You do a nice thing for everyone and yet you end up being portrayed as the villain. It’s not worth the hassle.

When people are on a tight budget, 23 pounds can make a huge difference to you.

I think she will make a big point of paying you, in cash, in the middle of the office when everyone can see her doing so

If she does, count it openly - ( check it again if she counts it into your hands) - and then declare the discount lunch club open for business again. But not for her.

Because even if she starts paying in cash each week as you ask, in a few weeks she "won't have any change" or have "forgotten her purse" or whatever, and the whole sorry saga will begin again.

I'm desperate to know what happened at the end of the day. Hope B paid up of course she didn't

That sandwich she ate was yours. I wouldn’t have snatched it off her, but I would have withheld it until she paid. You had already told her no more credit. Effectively she dipped her hand into your purse to pay for her lunch. That wouldn’t be acceptable but this is pretty much the electronic version of what she did.

I have said that as from next Friday I will need the money upfront from everyone before I order it as I can't be out of pocket anymore. Everyone agreed apart from B. Not looking at me, and tucking into her lunch, she's said "I will pay you at the end of the month like normal".

No even addressing how out of order this is but she doesn’t pay you at the end of the month though. I would never order for her again. Literally. No choice, even if she offers to pay in advance. It’s not bullying to not buy someone lunch, especially when they steal from you which Is what she did today. She can pay full price and ask the shop if they’ll deliver at the same time as the rest.

Would be interested in the CF internal justification for not paying. She must have justified this to herself somehow.

Also any comments relating to the wealth or lack of of either party utterly irrelevant. The Duke of Westminster is wealthy doesn’t mean he should buy me lunch every day.

Ask her if M&S are happy to let her have her sandwiches on a credit basis. No? Didn't think so.

I would offer everyone except B and money upfront before the order is placed! No money? Too bad.

Can you pay cash on delivery and still benefit from the discount card?

She's been unreasonable. Why order food if your not going to pay for it.

The whole thing sounds like a pain to be honest....

Agree with others, it would be a cold day in hell before I let her have the lunch on Friday.

I think you need to write the debt off and NEVER include her again. Fuming on your behalf!

I think @Lifecraft has got it spot on to be honest!

Wow she isn't just cheeky, she's way past that. Hopefully you have the money but if not you have to keep pointing out she owes you and refusing use of the card.

If she pays and you want to continue letting them use the card, do not allow without money in advance and if anyone complains just state 'yes it's a shame that previously someone has taken the piss and this is the result.'

I would also raise a complaint if she accuses you of bullying again. Maybe even speak to HR informally in the interim anyway.

Would be interested in the CF internal justification for not paying. She must have justified this to herself somehow.

She justifies it on the basis that OP doesn't have to pay the credit card till the end of the month. But it's none of her business when OP chooses to pay off the card, the fact is that she's had a lunch that OP has paid for and which she would have had to pay more for had she bought it in the café herself.

I just wonder how she copes in society. After all, shop assistants don't have to be paid till the end of the week, and there is usually a bit of a gap before they have to pay suppliers. Does she imagine she can do a load of shopping at Tesco's and tell them she won't pay till the end of the week because they haven't yet had to pay anyone for the goods?

"I will pay you at the end of the month like normal"

"No you won't. You'll do what I've asked and what everyone else is doing, or not have a lunch"

I would just say you’ve been the person in charge of lunches for too long, there are issues with people not paying so you’re not doing it anymore. To be honest you’ve been your own worst enemy letting people pay you afterwards or at the end of the month. You wouldn’t go into a sandwich shop, buy and sandwich and then say “I’ll pay you at the end of the month”.

The thing is, when she muttered "I'll pay you at the end of the month, as usual" you SHOULD have said (easy to say afterwards!) "But that's exactly the problem, you HAVEN'T paid it and that's why you need to pay up front now".

I agree that, going forward, she either pays up front or you don't order her food. I doubt she will pay you at all now - she will cite bullying, hurt feelings, "you don't deserve it after the way you've treated me" and many other excuses as to why she shouldn't pay you.

You should probably have a word with HR to give them a heads up that she's a) stolen from you (if she doesn't pay up) and b) lied about you by accusing you of bullying when you asked her to pay up.

Her behaviour is outrageous, and could possibly be followed by her going off "sick" to avoid the fall out.

You have witnesses though, at least one of whom is on your side. I do hate when chancers like this spoil it for everyone else!

You have been really kind Amelia2000 as the discount each week will really mount up.

Her argument that she can pay monthly and that you benefit from the money in advance is completely irrelevant. If you needed to use the credit card to spread out the cost of a big purchase there would be no interest free period and you would need to pay in the lunch money asap.

It is so easy to repay people these days via online banking or via mobile phone, B has no excuse.

The fact that there would be one CF person in one office is nothing surprising, but what is shocking and that I can't get my head around is that others haven't picked up on it, and when you had to say something for them to do, they have actually felt sorry for her.

This is such a depressing example of society. People spend a large amount of their day moaning about others, poor service, the lack of consideration by other drivers/neighbour/family members, but when you find yourself in your position OP, it is no surprise we are turning into selfish uncaring person.

It's really outrageous and I really feel sorry for you. People like this woman are a real pain in our lives, entitled, drama queen, self obsessed and just frankly a burden.

Why is B acting like you’re being devious by asking for the money prior to when it needs ‘paying off’?! Who questions that?! My god she sounds frustrating. @Amelia2000 for what it’s worth, you sound like a lovely person for letting this go on as long as it has and for not allowing it to affect the rest of the team.

I think 1 other person mentioned PayPal, it's honestly the easiest thing ever. I needed to pay for second hand furniture. I set up my account in 5 minutes, private payments are free, you only need your mobile or email as I'd for the other person to find you, it's surreal that it's not first thought for things like group lunches.

If by Monday lunchtime you don't have cash or email receipt etc., then you spend your lunchtime setting up PayPal between you.

I would also, just to cover yourself, write down exact history of saga, and cc it to E, so that 3 of you have the clear outline (including, I said this to B and she ran crying to the loos).

I completely understand being confined by embarrassment, especially in a work environment, but she is counting onthat. Stay calm, repeat simple unarguably sensible phrases, and get it done.

Given that you said you're always skint, you can't afford to let her get away with a penny of it, even if it gets sticky.

Much as clever retorts make for good fantasies, with someone so deluded and entitled, you'll only stir her up and get more wailing. Keep it calm.

Don't say you can't afford it as that implies you would pay if you could afford it.

swingofthings sadly I can well believe the others not getting involved. In my own little situation- small amount of money owed after a holiday, know that she's good for it but would really rather not have to continuously chase my own money for well over a month - our mutual holiday maker friends have stayed well out of it.

Sadly asking for your own money back can be seen as grabby and cheap - you see this all the time on mumsnet when people have threads about getting back small amounts of money - even though in this scenario it's very clear who the grabby cheap one is. Only way others will get involved is if OP stops using her card until all money is paid up and in future lunch is paid in advance- then they might feel obligated to do something, but until then I guess they feel they are acting decently and paying up, so not their unpleasantness to deal with.

Shameless place marking

Did she pay you back Op?