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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU over non-paying colleague? Lunch dramas

1000 replies

Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 12:06

I work in an open plan office. Every Friday we order lunch from a local food place. I happen to have a discount credit card for said food outlet, where I receive 30% off. I pay on this credit card and then on the first day of the next month it is paid off via direct debit from my current account. My six other colleagues always pay me in cash on the day (it's usually around/just over £5 each). Sometimes they will bank transfer it to me from their phone if they have forgotten cash. It is a bit of a pain having £30/£40 in cash every week that I then have to put aside rather than spend so that I can put it into the bank to pay off the card every month, but I do it so that we have a nice lunch and that everyone gets to take advantage of the discount. I've ended up getting a little petty cash tin that I keep everyone's money in so that I don't end up frittering it and then having to fork out at the end of the month myself.

There is one person out of the six, let's call her B, that over the last 6 months, always "forgets" her money. It started with me saying "don't worry just bring it in tomorrow" or "I don't have to pay the credit card off until the end of the month so it's OK, just transfer it before then". After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off. This is true, however everyone else has continued to give me their cash. Like I say above, it's kept in my locked drawer in my desk so it's not like I am spending it! I would be happier if everyone paid me directly into my bank at the end of the month if they wanted to, as it would be easier for me than going into town to go into the bank.

So for the last few months I have had to keep a tally of what B has ordered every week and then let her know that's what she owes when it comes towards the end of the month. This worked for a few months, but the money was always late. She would pay on the 4th or the 5th and I would have to ask every day "ah B, have you got that money for me" and end up subbing her.

So it's now the 11th, it's Friday, she hasn't paid me for last month and so I am £24 out of pocket (The direct debit for the card gets taken out of my current account on the 1st). She obviously hasn't paid me for last week (Friday 4th) either. I have asked every single morning, and reminded her every evening. She just says "I've forgotten sorry, will bring it in tomorrow" and then it never happens. I've asked if she would rather transfer it and she has said no. I've started asking in front of other people (it's an open plan office) in the hope that she would be embarrassed into remembering but it doesn't seem to bother her. It's now got to the point where I am fuming!

We just all started talking about lunch this morning and I have said I no longer want to provide the discount card lunch for everyone as I am not getting the money back in full and on time. One of the other girls has said "who's not paying you?", I looked awkward and said "B, I know you keep forgetting but I am £24 out of pocket, and I can't afford to keep doing it". She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets. Two of the other girls followed and said she's in there crying. There is now a horrible atmosphere in the office. She's now back at her desk and ignoring me. The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day. So I've given in and let them use the card. I didn't think B would have the brass neck to order something but she has.

ARGGGGGHHH! Now what?

OP posts:
SchadenfreudePersonified · 11/10/2019 19:08

Hang on!

I think I must have missed something here.

OP - I was thinking that you were placing the orders using your discount card, but reading through these later posts it seems that you give your card to one of the others, that person takes the orders and puts the value on your card, and then the stuff is delivered. Is that right?

If that is the case you have TWO CFs on your hands - B, and the person who decided to accept her order for lunch today KNOWING THAT SHE ALREADY OWED YOU NEARLY THIRTY QUID!

If that's right, I would ask this individual to give you the money for B's lunch today - she shouldn't have added her sandwich to the order - or at least not without okaying it with you.

QueenoftheBiscuitTin · 11/10/2019 19:10

If she doesn't bring any money in on the day, she doesn't get lunch. Simple. Let her be pathetic and cry.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 11/10/2019 19:14

Is there any way I can just read the OP's responses?

In your settings you can get the OP's responses highlighted, then you can just scroll through and look for the green ones (or whatever colour you choose.)

namina · 11/10/2019 19:15

What a cheeky cow!! You really can't let her order next week now until u get everything owed to u

SchadenfreudePersonified · 11/10/2019 19:16

Who the feck can afford over £5 a day for lunch?!

It's once a week Jinxed

SchadenfreudePersonified · 11/10/2019 19:19

Of course, OP - you could also try turning on the waterworks and running sobbing into the ladies'. (Though I imagine for normal people this is almost impossible)

MouthyHarpy · 11/10/2019 19:20

Come on people in their 60s manage it

People "in their sixties" have been using computers since ooo 1984.

Inthenewsagain · 11/10/2019 19:21

People are too harsh to the OP, she's been extremely kind and someone has taken complete advantage of her. It would be extremely unprofessional to have any kind of scene in an open plan office, I completely get that. Hope she pays up but you might have to accept she may well not do the decent thing unfortunately.

PlatoAteMySnozcumber · 11/10/2019 19:24

I get that it’s difficult with an open office and you don’t want to be the muppet making a big fuss about paying for lunch in front of everyone. As you say, the directors won’t care about the details, they will just see you as being involved in a petty dispute.

I would send B an email outlining what has happened in terms of outstanding payments. I would also tell her I am amazed that she has repeatedly failed to make payment and still ordered further food today when she knew her debt was overdue. I would ask her to please help me understand what is going on here and why she thinks I should pay for her food instead of her. I would then make it clear that next week, you will not order her any food unless she pays in advance.

I get all the posters saying she is a raging CF etc but you have to be careful about how you play this at work as it reflects poorly on you if you don’t deal with it in a professional manner.

PepePig · 11/10/2019 19:25

It's no longer a one-off or an accident. You need to stop being such a pushover. Don't let her order anything until she's paid up, and if she does, cancel that part of the order. You need to be the one ordering the food so you know exactly who's meal you're paying for. I also personally make sure everyone hands you/transfers you the money before you ring the order in. Anyone who doesn't have the money on them can go to a shop and buy a cheap lunch.

Boysey45 · 11/10/2019 19:25

If she didnt pay up I'd tell her I was going to take her to the small claims court.(I wouldn't but I'd just say it anyway).
I cant believe that people are that cheeky, I've been had for a sandwich by two people and a drink here and there but never £40.00!.What an absolute bitch this woman is. Its the principle as much as the money.

MiddleClassProblem · 11/10/2019 19:26

I’d be expecting to write off that money tbh

Redshoesandtheblues · 11/10/2019 19:32

Isn't ordering an £11 lunch, today of all days, a real 'Fuck you' statement?

Gazelda · 11/10/2019 19:33

I'd bin the lunch club. It's obvious to me that she's going to play the victim in this. The sooner you nip it in the bud the better.

Get your money off her, then say that the whole debacle has left an unpleasant taste, and that you're so sad that your kindness has resulted In you feel this way.

Glacecherrychops · 11/10/2019 19:34

waiting for the update Grin

Tistheseason17 · 11/10/2019 19:34

Wow - she is a proper CF!

PatchworkElmer · 11/10/2019 19:38

You’re doing the right thing now, Amelia. Stay strong!

Cherrysoup · 11/10/2019 19:39

She’s created this situation, any atmosphere is her fault. She’s a pain in the arse. I’m gobsmacked that she ordered today knowing she owes £35 already, that’s so bloody cheeky!

Just make sure you do the orders and ignore hers til she’s paid up.

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 11/10/2019 19:40

Where does this £11.00 order by B today come from? The OP never mentioned it, that I can find. Who made that up?!

CoraPirbright · 11/10/2019 19:41

I am so sorry OP - you were doing a lovely thing for your colleagues and they responded in kind by making sure they had cash or transferred the funds immediately. How jolly it must all have been and now its ruined.

I am so so glad that at least E is backing you - have any of the others said anything?

What worries me is that she is suck an awful person, I wouldn't put it past her to go crying to management/HR with her bullying claims. I would be tempted to pre-empt that and clue your manager in on what is going on, calling on E to corroborate your version of events.

If you can bear to, I would continue to order lunch on a Friday but simply exclude B. She has had more than enough chances. I also think you may have to write that money off - if you keep asking for it, I think it is more likely she will go to management to accuse you.

It’s at times like these that I wish we had another name for it - ‘cheeky fucker’ always seems rather benign to me. I suppose “selfish, piss-taking free-loading bitch” doesn’t quite have the same jaunty ring to it, does it?!

Elodie2019 · 11/10/2019 19:42

Dear all, Unfortunately lunch club is postponed until all outstanding debts are paid. Currently I am £35 out of pocket and can’t afford to subsidise other people’s lunches. When all debt are paid in full then lunch club can resume.
When it does these will be the rules going forward..

This if she doesn't pay up this weekend or first thing Monday morning.

She can't insist on paying 'at the end of the month as usual' because she has missed the end of last month by 2 weeks.

Everyone knows why this is happening so you won't be the one be the others are annoyed with.

Next Friday, if you are still owed money, lunch club is postponed.

ucfo · 11/10/2019 19:47

Right that's it. End of this ordering with your card.
Warn them on Wednesday and Thursday that you won't be doing this on Friday any more.
You can't afford to be out of pocket and that's the end of it. I very much doubt if B will now pay back the rest of the money so you might have to take the hit.
Leave the card at home on Friday so you won't be tempted to let the others have it. They'll just let B order again and you'll be even more money down.
And bring in a packed lunch or buy a sandwich or something.

NearlyGranny · 11/10/2019 19:50

This person in her 60s started using a computer in 1974 when it was the size of an American fridge and lived with its buddies in an air conditioned glass room where white-coated acolytes moved serenely, mysteriously attending to its needs. We students sat at tiers of benches and communicated via a remote keyboard and screen. To find any widespread incompetence with computers you need to look to people in their 80s these days. I believe my first computer was s PDP11.

Roussette · 11/10/2019 19:51

I can't believe more than one poster says you should write it off?

Why? Writing it off gives people like this more reason to take the piss

I would not let her get away with it. I would shame her. Emails. Texts and face to face.

NearlyGranny · 11/10/2019 19:54

Somebody needs to tell 'B' TANSTAAFL: There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch!

She obviously missed the memo...

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