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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU over non-paying colleague? Lunch dramas

1000 replies

Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 12:06

I work in an open plan office. Every Friday we order lunch from a local food place. I happen to have a discount credit card for said food outlet, where I receive 30% off. I pay on this credit card and then on the first day of the next month it is paid off via direct debit from my current account. My six other colleagues always pay me in cash on the day (it's usually around/just over £5 each). Sometimes they will bank transfer it to me from their phone if they have forgotten cash. It is a bit of a pain having £30/£40 in cash every week that I then have to put aside rather than spend so that I can put it into the bank to pay off the card every month, but I do it so that we have a nice lunch and that everyone gets to take advantage of the discount. I've ended up getting a little petty cash tin that I keep everyone's money in so that I don't end up frittering it and then having to fork out at the end of the month myself.

There is one person out of the six, let's call her B, that over the last 6 months, always "forgets" her money. It started with me saying "don't worry just bring it in tomorrow" or "I don't have to pay the credit card off until the end of the month so it's OK, just transfer it before then". After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off. This is true, however everyone else has continued to give me their cash. Like I say above, it's kept in my locked drawer in my desk so it's not like I am spending it! I would be happier if everyone paid me directly into my bank at the end of the month if they wanted to, as it would be easier for me than going into town to go into the bank.

So for the last few months I have had to keep a tally of what B has ordered every week and then let her know that's what she owes when it comes towards the end of the month. This worked for a few months, but the money was always late. She would pay on the 4th or the 5th and I would have to ask every day "ah B, have you got that money for me" and end up subbing her.

So it's now the 11th, it's Friday, she hasn't paid me for last month and so I am £24 out of pocket (The direct debit for the card gets taken out of my current account on the 1st). She obviously hasn't paid me for last week (Friday 4th) either. I have asked every single morning, and reminded her every evening. She just says "I've forgotten sorry, will bring it in tomorrow" and then it never happens. I've asked if she would rather transfer it and she has said no. I've started asking in front of other people (it's an open plan office) in the hope that she would be embarrassed into remembering but it doesn't seem to bother her. It's now got to the point where I am fuming!

We just all started talking about lunch this morning and I have said I no longer want to provide the discount card lunch for everyone as I am not getting the money back in full and on time. One of the other girls has said "who's not paying you?", I looked awkward and said "B, I know you keep forgetting but I am £24 out of pocket, and I can't afford to keep doing it". She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets. Two of the other girls followed and said she's in there crying. There is now a horrible atmosphere in the office. She's now back at her desk and ignoring me. The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day. So I've given in and let them use the card. I didn't think B would have the brass neck to order something but she has.

ARGGGGGHHH! Now what?

OP posts:
melj1213 · 11/10/2019 18:26

I would no longer allow her to use the card, but it's upto you whether you restrict the rest of the staff from using it. Without her order will they still reach the minimum order requirements? If so then I would just send an email stating no more free lunches.

Dear Colleagues,

Due to meals not being paid for when using my card for the discount, leaving me out of pocket by almost £40, I am going to have to change how Friday Lunch Club operates.

From now on meals must be paid for upfront, no exceptions. Anyone who currently owes me money will not be included until their current debt is paid off in full.

I wish it had not come to this as I offered my card to help everyone out but I cannot afford to subsidise other people indefinitely.

MightyAtlantic · 11/10/2019 18:27

If she hasn't paid up by Monday, if I was you I'd be so tempted to email her with my bank details every hour on the hour until she pays up!

slinkysaluki · 11/10/2019 18:31

No good deed goes unpunished goes the saying. Id stop it completely

SilverSparkle · 11/10/2019 18:34

It doesn’t matter when you pay the balance on your card, people should pay for food they will be eating at the time of ordering, as they would in any shop/restaurant. I agree with a previous poster about e-mailing clear rules of payment. You’re not there to pay for some CF lunch every Friday!

dudsville · 11/10/2019 18:35

What a silly situation, how annoying for you op. You have a good plan going forward. I suspect you won't get your money back though.

colourlessgreenidea · 11/10/2019 18:39

@Amelia2000, please tell us what this 30% discount card is? Smile

It sounds awesome! I’d love one.

mummmy2017 · 11/10/2019 18:42

I know you don't want to but the best thing you can do is just is just leave her .
Don't talk to her about anymore as she will try to say your billing her.
On Monday just tell everyone it has to be payment for food as you order, if she offers you her £30 , you can say thanks and just carry on, but if not seeing you all munch your lunch will annoy her so much.
She will have nothing to produce as evidence of you bullying her, and you can just smile and say that she knew that until you received the owed money you could not afford to sub her.

CatsCatsCats11 · 11/10/2019 18:42

I can't see her paying up, especially after the cheek today.

BarbaraofSeville · 11/10/2019 18:44

Sounds like the card is for an independent deli, so no good to anyone else unless you are in the same area as the OP.

is there any way I can just read the OP's responses

You can also have it set so the OPs comments are highlighted, so easy to spot when skimming through. It's green on mine, and my comments are purple.

Jinxed2 · 11/10/2019 18:46

Who the feck can afford over £5 a day for lunch?!

BarbaraofSeville · 11/10/2019 18:47

But I'm not sure if it's worth the potential hassle and drama to save a couple of quid on a deli lunch. Although it would be an interesting experiment in seeing if any of your colleagues are cheeky fuckers.

Witchinaditch · 11/10/2019 18:48

I can’t believe she ordered lunch today and wasn’t so embarrassed that she transferred there and then! How does she not have online banking? Come on people in their 60s manage it! This is such CF behaviour I can’t get over her gall. OP you sounds very kind!

TitianaTitsling · 11/10/2019 18:48

dottie are you B?
I think you should just say to her ."Shall we forget about it .pay me when you can " then write it off as she obviously cant/wont pay and you will have a bad atmosphere at work!. Totally pandering to the tantrum then writing it off!!

mummmy2017 · 11/10/2019 18:49

Right now , every time OP comments on it, B will become the victim.
By not email and just carrying on B will be embarrassed and know she owes you.
Review the lunch order. If B puts something down. Just cross her order off the list.
Return her £5 and say you would rather she pays the £30 in total in one go and until she does you won't be adding her order to the order with your discount. But she can place her own order to be delivered.

Ihatesundays · 11/10/2019 18:49

I wouldn’t order anymore food for anyone until she has paid in full.

I know it’s not fair on them - however, they will put pressure on her too then. You need that to make sure she pays up.

No one gets anything until debt is paid. From then on all payment in advance.

Jinxed2 · 11/10/2019 18:49

Sorry just read it’s just Fridays....

colourlessgreenidea · 11/10/2019 18:50

Sounds like the card is for an independent deli, so no good to anyone else unless you are in the same area as the OP.

Oh, I got the impression it was a credit card. Confused

OldEvilOwl · 11/10/2019 18:51

I would tell her your not ordering for her until she has paid everything she owes you. Then when you get the money, tell her you want it upfront in cash every time or she gets nothing. And mean it, she is taking the piss

Roussette · 11/10/2019 18:54

dottie so the OP should write off £40 because a work colleague doesn't fancy paying?

Smilingthru · 11/10/2019 18:54

How did the end of the day go OP?? X

BigChocFrenzy · 11/10/2019 18:55

If she hasn|t paid in full by Thursday, EMail everyone to organise their own lunch for Friday, because
you will be leaving your card at home

SchadenfreudePersonified · 11/10/2019 18:58

maybe she hasn't realised how much she owes you and is struggling for money hense the crying. Unless she really is a CF.

If she was struggling for money she would just say "I'm saving for X, so I'm just going to bring a sandwich from home." She could still eat with you all but wouldn't be stealing.

She's definitely a CF.

mummmy2017 · 11/10/2019 19:00

BigChocFrenzy the only problem with people like B is they are victims, and will play the part, hence the running to the loo crying.
An email can and will be used against OP, by someone like this .
Instead just tell everyone cash up front.
Tell B sorry but until she pays up no food.
No boss will pick you up on this as being a bully.

TARSCOUT · 11/10/2019 19:00

This sort of thing frequently happens to me so now I simply don't buy anything for anyone without having their money first. Just tell them the card expires in 2 weeks and you won't be getting it renewed so you're just going to start bringing in a sandwich. Yes, you can go round the houses and explain to everyone etc etc. but sometimes the easiest way is just to fib.

Noooodles · 11/10/2019 19:02

This is horrendously cheeky of her. I fully understand how these situations escalate to this, it starts off with a little cheeky fuckery and then it’s a quick hop skip and jump to all out cheeky fucker Olympics.

I work in a large open plan office and the dynamic is important here. The directors won’t give a shit about this and you’ll come off worst of she’s turning on the tears.

Next week well before Friday I’d tell them all “I don’t want our Friday lunch to stop but I can’t sub anyone in the future. I don’t like having to chase for money and I’m sure people don’t like being chased. I don't want it to be a source of conflict, bad feeling or upset in the office so if you can’t transfer the money up front or give me cash up front then I won’t be able to order for you. You can obviously sub each other if that suits you”.

And under no circumstances break the rules for her. You can’t order for her again unless she pays her tab. If she starts crying and other staff give you a hard time about just ask them to pay her tab. They’ll soon shut up. Good luck!

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