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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU over non-paying colleague? Lunch dramas

1000 replies

Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 12:06

I work in an open plan office. Every Friday we order lunch from a local food place. I happen to have a discount credit card for said food outlet, where I receive 30% off. I pay on this credit card and then on the first day of the next month it is paid off via direct debit from my current account. My six other colleagues always pay me in cash on the day (it's usually around/just over £5 each). Sometimes they will bank transfer it to me from their phone if they have forgotten cash. It is a bit of a pain having £30/£40 in cash every week that I then have to put aside rather than spend so that I can put it into the bank to pay off the card every month, but I do it so that we have a nice lunch and that everyone gets to take advantage of the discount. I've ended up getting a little petty cash tin that I keep everyone's money in so that I don't end up frittering it and then having to fork out at the end of the month myself.

There is one person out of the six, let's call her B, that over the last 6 months, always "forgets" her money. It started with me saying "don't worry just bring it in tomorrow" or "I don't have to pay the credit card off until the end of the month so it's OK, just transfer it before then". After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off. This is true, however everyone else has continued to give me their cash. Like I say above, it's kept in my locked drawer in my desk so it's not like I am spending it! I would be happier if everyone paid me directly into my bank at the end of the month if they wanted to, as it would be easier for me than going into town to go into the bank.

So for the last few months I have had to keep a tally of what B has ordered every week and then let her know that's what she owes when it comes towards the end of the month. This worked for a few months, but the money was always late. She would pay on the 4th or the 5th and I would have to ask every day "ah B, have you got that money for me" and end up subbing her.

So it's now the 11th, it's Friday, she hasn't paid me for last month and so I am £24 out of pocket (The direct debit for the card gets taken out of my current account on the 1st). She obviously hasn't paid me for last week (Friday 4th) either. I have asked every single morning, and reminded her every evening. She just says "I've forgotten sorry, will bring it in tomorrow" and then it never happens. I've asked if she would rather transfer it and she has said no. I've started asking in front of other people (it's an open plan office) in the hope that she would be embarrassed into remembering but it doesn't seem to bother her. It's now got to the point where I am fuming!

We just all started talking about lunch this morning and I have said I no longer want to provide the discount card lunch for everyone as I am not getting the money back in full and on time. One of the other girls has said "who's not paying you?", I looked awkward and said "B, I know you keep forgetting but I am £24 out of pocket, and I can't afford to keep doing it". She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets. Two of the other girls followed and said she's in there crying. There is now a horrible atmosphere in the office. She's now back at her desk and ignoring me. The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day. So I've given in and let them use the card. I didn't think B would have the brass neck to order something but she has.

ARGGGGGHHH! Now what?

OP posts:
comingintomyown · 11/10/2019 17:20

I wouldn’t be inclined to involve any management it just gives weight to an overall trivial situation and it’s not work related as such.
Don’t get me wrong I would be fuming about B but I wouldn’t escalate it

DisneyMadeMeDoIt · 11/10/2019 17:30

I wouldn’t stop ordering lunch for the whole office but I would exclude B until she pays.
‘If’ she makes a fuss or gets dramatic/upset about this I would be passively aggressively sensitive and play her at her own game.
‘I’m really sorry B but I feel so awkward always reminding you and you keep forgetting, I wish I could afford to keep subbing you but I can’t. I don’t want to stop doing it for everyone else though as we really enjoy it.’

Mbeira · 11/10/2019 17:37

Say you've lost the discount card, or forgotten it, or something. Tell them on Tuesday.

Bring your own lunch in, and let everyone else worry about themselves.You're not a charity. Home produced lunch is cheaper anyway.

TheClitterati · 11/10/2019 17:39

stop being the lunch monitor.

cometothinkofit · 11/10/2019 17:39

You don't need to do online banking to be able to telephone your bank and ask them to transfer the money.

yorkshirecountrylass · 11/10/2019 17:40

Feel for you OP, you've tried to do something nice and as usual one person spoils it. Maybe the others aren't at fault but they've not really supported you either have they?! First thing Monday morning remind CF in private that there are outstanding monies and send an email to the whole group along the lines of;
"As you may already be aware there have been some issues with our Friday lunches. Having reflected over the weekend I've decided that I won't be making the discount card available again. I wanted to give everyone enough notice to make alternative arrangements. Please do not ask about the card again."

refraction · 11/10/2019 17:41

What a chew! The actual going to the bank would be enough to put me off doing it.

Ridiculous.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 11/10/2019 17:42

I was just wondering. I’m in Ireland and the bank charges for each transfer / dd / credit etc. If people were transferring into my account each week it would really add up. Is it different in the UK?

Ahh I didn’t realise some banks charged! I’m in NI with accounts in several different banks and none of them charge.

Scoobydoobywho · 11/10/2019 17:46

Op what do you think B would do if you refused to get her her lunch. Do you think she would report you to the higher ups saying Amelia is bullying me, she won't pay for my lunch. I very much doubt it. No money no food.

Beveren · 11/10/2019 17:55

made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off.

Point out that she ate the food before the end of the month, therefore she gets to pay for it before the end of the month.

As for her saying she'll pay at the end of the month "like normal", you simply have to be very clear that if she won't pay upfront you are not ordering for her.

madeyemoodysmum · 11/10/2019 17:59

The first rule about lunch club is that everybody pays for lunch club!

Put this up in the office Grin

Butterymuffin · 11/10/2019 18:01

Place marking. I would carry on ordering for the others if it's manageable but would not include B again. It's quite likely she'll come up with some bullshit excuse not to pay you what she owes, unfortunately.

Graphista · 11/10/2019 18:06

I should know better by now from many mn cf threads not to be shocked. The op was bad enough but to then even after everyone knows she is refusing to pay her way and risking you ending the whole arrangement to have the gall to STILL say she won't be paying till it suits her while eating the lunch YOU bought is quite astonishing!

1 DO NOT APOLOGISE not even a muttered "sorry but" she is EXACTLY the type to use this against you! I wouldn't even out it past her to rope in a "witness"

2 cover your arse on the "bullying" accusation asap. thats a deeply offensive and cocompletely unfounded accusation that could have serious repercussions for you speak to be line manager about this immediately. She needs told with authority that she CANNOT throw that accusation around in the workplace

3 be careful re emails some companies have rules about personal matters particularly those involving financial disputes being discussed via company email.

4 give her a clear deadline when she needs to pay you WHAT SHE OWES YOU. I would say midday Monday gives her more than enough time to either set up online banking or borrow from someone else if the problem is she's skint

5 don't fall for the manipulative madams apparent ability to turn on the waterworks at will again

Good luck. Cf/con artists are masterful liars and actors

OliveOwl · 11/10/2019 18:06

Just remembered we had a similar thing a place I used to work. Some of us used to club together to buy rolls, cold meat, salads, cheese, condiments so we could make lunch quite cheaply, kept stuff in the fridge at work. All the full-time people chipped in, some part-timers did, some didn’t, if you didn’t chip in, you didn’t partake.

Worked pretty well for a while, then after a couple of months some rolls started going missing. We all knew who it was, but had no real proof, til one Friday evening the assistant manager followed the suspected culprit through the back to where the fridge was. All we heard through the front was a roar of “Get away from those softies”.

In the meantime, the owner had come in and just looked at us in surprise at the roar. He knew about the lunch club as we were buying stuff from the cash and carry on the company account and had given permission, thought it was a good idea. He just said “Is somebody stealing the rolls? I hate that kind of thing, spoils it for everyone” and walked through the back, where the culprit was standing red handed with half a ham roll hanging out if his mouth.

He got a rollicking there and then. He came in late for a shift a few weeks later and was basically told not to come back at the end of the shift. He’d used up all his chances on the rolls basically.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 11/10/2019 18:12

Judge Judy would tell B “you ate the steak you have to pay for it! judgement for the plaintiff” Grin

MatildaTheCat · 11/10/2019 18:12

Spend the weekend making a little tapestry with the well known phrase,

THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH

Hang it on the office wall.

AnathemaPulsifer · 11/10/2019 18:15

I’m amazed how many people think OP should stop the lunch club because of one cheeky mare.

myolivetree · 11/10/2019 18:17

All we heard through the front was a roar of “Get away from those softies”.

just spluttered my tea.

CooperLooper · 11/10/2019 18:19

Good grief, a 30% discount for a £5 lunch is not worth all of this. You can all continue getting Friday lunches, but people need to start paying for it themselves - upfront - on the day. It only takes one selfish person to ruin it for a group.

I wouldn't be putting up with this, nor would I be putting everybody's lunches on my card every week. Maybe suggest a weekly rota from now on where each person takes it in turns to pay for it on their card. If you don't have cash upfront then you don't get lunch, easy peasy.

WagtailRobin · 11/10/2019 18:20

As she has already played the "bullying" card she will play it again next Friday if she hasn't paid her debt and you then refuse (rightly) to include her in the lunch order on your card; Be wary of people like her, she will claim she is being excluded etc to deflect from the reality, the reality being she owes you money and hasn't paid it despite several times being asked for it.

Stand your ground, she is in the wrong and I really can not believe the cheek of it, she obviously has no shame or dignity.

handbagsatdawn33 · 11/10/2019 18:23

Is there any way I can just read the OP's responses?

myolivetree · 11/10/2019 18:23

I’m amazed how many people think OP should stop the lunch club because of one cheeky mare.

I agree. Why should that CFK B put the knackers on something nice they do on a Friday?

If OP wanted to sit on her own eating sandwiches she'd probably already be doing it.

.

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 11/10/2019 18:24

"Is there any way I can just read the OP's responses?"
Yes. Search for OP's name.

Sunflower20 · 11/10/2019 18:24

Wow......B is a massive CF. No more for anyone in the office until she pays you in full. And no more delayed payment from anyone, either they pay you upfront or they don't order.

Some people really have no shame.

LL83 · 11/10/2019 18:25

Order food for those willing to pay up front and not the CF. Tell them all this on Monday and she can bring her lunch in is she wont pay.

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