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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU over non-paying colleague? Lunch dramas

1000 replies

Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 12:06

I work in an open plan office. Every Friday we order lunch from a local food place. I happen to have a discount credit card for said food outlet, where I receive 30% off. I pay on this credit card and then on the first day of the next month it is paid off via direct debit from my current account. My six other colleagues always pay me in cash on the day (it's usually around/just over £5 each). Sometimes they will bank transfer it to me from their phone if they have forgotten cash. It is a bit of a pain having £30/£40 in cash every week that I then have to put aside rather than spend so that I can put it into the bank to pay off the card every month, but I do it so that we have a nice lunch and that everyone gets to take advantage of the discount. I've ended up getting a little petty cash tin that I keep everyone's money in so that I don't end up frittering it and then having to fork out at the end of the month myself.

There is one person out of the six, let's call her B, that over the last 6 months, always "forgets" her money. It started with me saying "don't worry just bring it in tomorrow" or "I don't have to pay the credit card off until the end of the month so it's OK, just transfer it before then". After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off. This is true, however everyone else has continued to give me their cash. Like I say above, it's kept in my locked drawer in my desk so it's not like I am spending it! I would be happier if everyone paid me directly into my bank at the end of the month if they wanted to, as it would be easier for me than going into town to go into the bank.

So for the last few months I have had to keep a tally of what B has ordered every week and then let her know that's what she owes when it comes towards the end of the month. This worked for a few months, but the money was always late. She would pay on the 4th or the 5th and I would have to ask every day "ah B, have you got that money for me" and end up subbing her.

So it's now the 11th, it's Friday, she hasn't paid me for last month and so I am £24 out of pocket (The direct debit for the card gets taken out of my current account on the 1st). She obviously hasn't paid me for last week (Friday 4th) either. I have asked every single morning, and reminded her every evening. She just says "I've forgotten sorry, will bring it in tomorrow" and then it never happens. I've asked if she would rather transfer it and she has said no. I've started asking in front of other people (it's an open plan office) in the hope that she would be embarrassed into remembering but it doesn't seem to bother her. It's now got to the point where I am fuming!

We just all started talking about lunch this morning and I have said I no longer want to provide the discount card lunch for everyone as I am not getting the money back in full and on time. One of the other girls has said "who's not paying you?", I looked awkward and said "B, I know you keep forgetting but I am £24 out of pocket, and I can't afford to keep doing it". She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets. Two of the other girls followed and said she's in there crying. There is now a horrible atmosphere in the office. She's now back at her desk and ignoring me. The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day. So I've given in and let them use the card. I didn't think B would have the brass neck to order something but she has.

ARGGGGGHHH! Now what?

OP posts:
septembersunshine · 11/10/2019 15:00

If I were you op I would send an email around saying that you won't be doing this anymore and that the arrangment has reached its natural end. Its an absolute pain for you with the non payer and having cash leave your account etc...and then I suppose you have to fetch it all because the cards in your name? No. They can get their own discount card...or a company discount card. Or bring in their own lunch. Why is this all at your door every week? Too much stress and too much hassle. You may get this down the road again if someone new joins the team. The non payer needs to pay you though. Don't let her off. No such thing has a free lunch.

Claphands · 11/10/2019 15:00

What a cowbag she is! All I can say is I used to run the tea club at work and never again as people are so ungrateful and moany! Some people have no shame clearly .

ScreamingLadySutch · 11/10/2019 15:00

Be strong, OP.

Just look at B clearly and say that she is no longer included in the lunch agreement.

NoProblem123 · 11/10/2019 15:10

Only read OP and can’t believe the brass neck on her - I’m fuming on your behalf !
I’m disappointed in the other two enabling this CFery. Let them pay for if they feel that sorry for the sponger.
Fuming !!

Mephisto · 11/10/2019 15:10

I have said that as from next Friday I will need the money upfront from everyone before I order it as I can't be out of pocket anymore. Everyone agreed apart from B. Not looking at me, and tucking into her lunch, she's said "I will pay you at the end of the month like normal".

OP has a plan. If B doesn’t pay upfront she gets no lunch. Not sure what else OP can do really.

Soubriquet · 11/10/2019 15:11

I wouldn’t punish everyone else who is paying.

I would order the food for everyone myself, but when B goes to place an order “sorry. I’m not ordering you anything until you pay upfront AND cover the arrears”

I would obviously let everyone know that you will be only ordering food for those who have paid so she had a heads up

HugTrees · 11/10/2019 15:12

OP, don’t worry it sounds like everyone in the office understands. Why should it matter when you pay off your credit card? They wouldn’t get food on credit from the local place and you shouldn’t have to chase and keep record when you are doing them a favour

Glitteryone · 11/10/2019 15:12

Balls to that.

She wouldn’t walk into a sandwich shop order her lunch and walk out without paying!

This sounds like a lovely arrangement that you have with the rest of the team and I would continue it, but I would strictly not order hers until you’ve received the payment first!

myolivetree · 11/10/2019 15:13

I really want to hear if she transfers that money to you! God she's a cheeky f*k.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 11/10/2019 15:17

and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off.

1)It’s your money- you can take it whenever you like to spend as you like. The bill date is irrelevant.

  1. id have never ordered for her again after that comment.
rosesandcashmere · 11/10/2019 15:21

Have you logged it with 101?

AmIChangingagain · 11/10/2019 15:23

What a CF

I wouldn't have ordered anything for her this week

JoanieCash · 11/10/2019 15:24

I would email all and say there is no such thing as a free lunch and you’re happy to continue doing it on your own terms, which is that you’d like everyone to do a bank transfer same day. So easy to ping money over once set up. So no petty cash (unless you prefer that- I’d like it, saves hassle of going to cash point).

Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 11/10/2019 15:24

Placemarking! You must tell us what happens next Friday op!

HeyNotInMyName · 11/10/2019 15:24

I think the answer is for you to put boundaries up and tell everyone on Moinday that you will only use your CC if people pay you on the day .
Tell them on Monday so there is no surprise for them. Tell B that you expect her to pay for all the meals she bought and will not accept t buy anything for her until then.
Ill seend an email to everyone too (generic one about paying on the day). And one specific for B on the top.

Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 15:25

Oh my god, this has gone slightly crazy since I last posted! As someone pointed out, I am at work so I have been, well, working...

I'll attempt to answer most questions...

It's just a little deli type place, think a nicer version of Subway where you can choose your bread/fillings/toppings etc. You can also have Pizza, Salads etc. It is quite expensive (£7/8 for lunch if you don't have the discount) and I doubt everyone would order from them if I didn't let them use the card. Plus there's a minimum order charge to qualify for free delivery so the others wouldn't be able to order theirs separately unless they went to collect it, which kinda defeats the whole object.

Each week it's usually £30-40. I am always skint so there's no way I would use this cash during the week. I don't actually buy anything in cash really. I was just putting it in my purse and frittering it away on rubbish that I didn't really need or want and then faced by a bill at the end of the month so I just felt that the petty cash tin was the easiest way. A couple of the other girls waitress on the side so they use their tips to pay me. It's always worked fine with the people that actually pay.

E has since emailed me to ask if I'm OK and about the atmosphere in the room and "can't believe what a cheek B has got". I emailed back saying I am happy to carry on the arrangement as long as the money is given to me upfront and the last thing I want is an atmosphere. She said that's fine by her. I didn't want to say too much via email.

B hasn't spoken to anyone since eating her lunch. She's turned down all offers of tea/coffee which she would usually take. I haven't received any funds (cash or transfer) to date.

If she doesn't say anything by the end of the day, I will just be breezy when I get up to leave and say "right see you later everyone, have a lovely weekend, B please don't forget to transfer that money as soon as you can, byyeeee!"

Not sure what else there is to do. I don't want to involve HR yet, hopefully she just transfers the money over the weekend. Then I will be putting into place the upfront, no cash/transfer then no lunch rule next week.

Let's hope I get the £35 over the weekend!

OP posts:
Lulualla · 11/10/2019 15:27

It's like she thinks you're somehow taking advantage of the money, or creating a little scheme to get their money with the comments about you not having to pay it off for a while. But that's total nonsense.

If you waited until the end of the month to get the money then you'd need to keep lists of what everyone owes and then chase them up for it. If you get the money each week then it just makes it all easier. If you spend the cash then you still need to pay the bill out of your account, just with different money. But it's still all your money and doesn't cost them any extra. In her head, you're doing something sneaky by getting them to pay as they order even though you're not at all. She just be a very paranoid woman.

timshelthechoice · 11/10/2019 15:28

More fool you for ordering for B today. You're a right mug.

All you have to do is Does suggests. 'Sadly, have had to put some criterion in place as I have not been paid in full for the meals, so a) and b)' and the end and stop being such a wet lettuce and ordering for this cunt B.

Fuck her off. Bet you never see that money again.

She doesn't pay up and I'd stop doing it altogether. Fuck 'em. They can bring their own fucking lunch in.

Lulualla · 11/10/2019 15:29

Don't say "as soon as you can". Just say "this weekend or by tonight".

Ilovemypantry · 11/10/2019 15:29

Knock it on the head, not worth the hassle.

Bloomburger · 11/10/2019 15:31

Don't be a soft, get to HR before she does.

timshelthechoice · 11/10/2019 15:31

Stop being nicey nice to her, too. 'I need that money transferred now, not at the end of the month, I can't afford to pay for you or subsidise you. That's so not on.

Send out the new rules on Monday. NO more ordering for that bitch till you get all you're owed and she pays up front.

Any hassle and just stop the whole deal. More trouble than it's worth.

No need to go to HR. It's not their problem. Be an adult and start telling her she owes you money till you get it.

Mimsnethe · 11/10/2019 15:31

Oh OP, in a nice easy, I want to give you a shake.

She’s not your friend, and you’re not obligated to extend her the courtesy of ordering her lunch so she saves herself £2.

Your card isn’t a shared team resource.

Stop allowing her to take advantage.

mummmy2017 · 11/10/2019 15:32

B you were getting 30% off because I had a card, the shop got paid by me and you really do owe me X amount, no one else seems to worry about how I process the payments .
However if you want to put the order through each week and we all pay you instead that would be fine by me.

walkaroundtheblock · 11/10/2019 15:36

Crocodile tears! Proper cheeky fucker!

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