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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU over non-paying colleague? Lunch dramas

1000 replies

Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 12:06

I work in an open plan office. Every Friday we order lunch from a local food place. I happen to have a discount credit card for said food outlet, where I receive 30% off. I pay on this credit card and then on the first day of the next month it is paid off via direct debit from my current account. My six other colleagues always pay me in cash on the day (it's usually around/just over £5 each). Sometimes they will bank transfer it to me from their phone if they have forgotten cash. It is a bit of a pain having £30/£40 in cash every week that I then have to put aside rather than spend so that I can put it into the bank to pay off the card every month, but I do it so that we have a nice lunch and that everyone gets to take advantage of the discount. I've ended up getting a little petty cash tin that I keep everyone's money in so that I don't end up frittering it and then having to fork out at the end of the month myself.

There is one person out of the six, let's call her B, that over the last 6 months, always "forgets" her money. It started with me saying "don't worry just bring it in tomorrow" or "I don't have to pay the credit card off until the end of the month so it's OK, just transfer it before then". After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off. This is true, however everyone else has continued to give me their cash. Like I say above, it's kept in my locked drawer in my desk so it's not like I am spending it! I would be happier if everyone paid me directly into my bank at the end of the month if they wanted to, as it would be easier for me than going into town to go into the bank.

So for the last few months I have had to keep a tally of what B has ordered every week and then let her know that's what she owes when it comes towards the end of the month. This worked for a few months, but the money was always late. She would pay on the 4th or the 5th and I would have to ask every day "ah B, have you got that money for me" and end up subbing her.

So it's now the 11th, it's Friday, she hasn't paid me for last month and so I am £24 out of pocket (The direct debit for the card gets taken out of my current account on the 1st). She obviously hasn't paid me for last week (Friday 4th) either. I have asked every single morning, and reminded her every evening. She just says "I've forgotten sorry, will bring it in tomorrow" and then it never happens. I've asked if she would rather transfer it and she has said no. I've started asking in front of other people (it's an open plan office) in the hope that she would be embarrassed into remembering but it doesn't seem to bother her. It's now got to the point where I am fuming!

We just all started talking about lunch this morning and I have said I no longer want to provide the discount card lunch for everyone as I am not getting the money back in full and on time. One of the other girls has said "who's not paying you?", I looked awkward and said "B, I know you keep forgetting but I am £24 out of pocket, and I can't afford to keep doing it". She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets. Two of the other girls followed and said she's in there crying. There is now a horrible atmosphere in the office. She's now back at her desk and ignoring me. The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day. So I've given in and let them use the card. I didn't think B would have the brass neck to order something but she has.

ARGGGGGHHH! Now what?

OP posts:
elessar · 11/10/2019 14:28

Wow she is breathtakingly cheeky, I can hardly believe it!

Would definitely take the approach as you have of saying 'money upfront before ordering' and would also refuse to let B order anything further ever again until she's paid you back in full and then pays you in advance in future.

I wouldn't stop the arrangement for all as everyone else seems to be reasonable, and I also can't imagine that B will want to be the only one who misses out. If she doesn't pay up though, I would continue to publicly shame her about it and I would escalate to management.

Out of interest, what do people do for lunch the other 4 days of the week?!

LonginesPrime · 11/10/2019 14:28

Isn’t this a grown up version of her taking your dinner money

Grown up??

lonelyonee · 11/10/2019 14:29

B is 100% a cheeky fucker who has ran off and cried because she's been caught out and called on it!
She's still being completely unreasonable which is ridiculous!
Why on earth did you allow her to have the ordered lunch she isn't intending to pay for? Personally I'd have snatched it out of her hand and when she asked what I was doing I'd have said "well it's mine I've paid for it", and every Friday going forward she would not be included in the ordering process at all. May sound harsh but let her starve! Karma for being CF of the year!

You do not bite the hand that feeds you, and she's done more than that imo.

LagunaBubbles · 11/10/2019 14:29

homeishere

Shouldn’t you be working rather than on Mumsnet?

Hmm
justintimberlakesfishwife · 11/10/2019 14:29

I'm following this thread as I am just so shocked that people actually behave like B!!!! Why does it matter that you pay your credit card off at the end of the month?! If you what a service you have ru pay there are then! Once you've bought the food, the debt is then in your name. Arghhhh!!!! Good luck, OP, stand your ground!

LonginesPrime · 11/10/2019 14:31

Laguna, homeishere is clearly their boss. Or possibly B in disguise..

Busted, OP.

LagunaBubbles · 11/10/2019 14:32

I will go for B in disguise LonginesPrime!

notacooldad · 11/10/2019 14:33

I would have been tempted to pick up her lunch and through it in the bin
I would have ate it!!!

Idontwanttotalk · 11/10/2019 14:35

"Shouldn’t you be working rather than on Mumsnet?"
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Maybe OP was on her lunch break.

notacooldad · 11/10/2019 14:37

Shouldn’t you be working rather than on Mumsnet?
Guess what? I'm at work now and I'm on MN.
You dont have to have your nose to the grind every minute of the day in all jobs, you know!

Mephisto · 11/10/2019 14:37

Urgh, thought there was an update. This was sorted by OP ages ago, 200+ posts ago to be precise, why are people still offering advice.

Mummyoflittledragon · 11/10/2019 14:37

B sounds horrible. YANBU. I cannot believe the person, who took your card had the effrontery to take an order from b knowing that you are already considerably out of pocket. I agree with others, As you have been accused of bullying, I would be informing hr

Tensixtysix · 11/10/2019 14:39

Stop doing lunch for everyone else and bring in a packed lunch!
If they moan, say that B has made it impossible to carry on.
It's HER problem NOT yours!

PurpleDaisies · 11/10/2019 14:39

Urgh, thought there was an update. This was sorted by OP ages ago, 200+ posts ago to be precise, why are people still offering advice.

It very much isn’t sorted according to the op’s last post at 12.42.

1forAll74 · 11/10/2019 14:40

I think B is a nuisance,and seems unfazed about paying money back to you, and what's more sounds very childish,rushing out to have a cry in the toilets when she is challenged.

You have made it clear to her regarding the money, so she should just get real,and take notice, or else go hungry !

BlueJava · 11/10/2019 14:41

Wow! B's a real CF isn't she! That's pretty unbelieveable to order again (I do believe you, but just gobsmacked). I think you need to say you need payment before you place the order in future. That stops her tricks and if she doesn't have the money and someone else wants to sub her then fine - but you don't. Just say "Sorry a bit short this month" or similar. What a mare!

ohtheholidays · 11/10/2019 14:42

I honestly would not have let her order anything today and then when she came up with the bullshit "I WILL PAY YOU AT THE END OF THE MONTH LIKE NORMAL" I'D HAVE SAID WHO'S BLOODY NORMAL YOU'VE NEVER PAID ME,WHAT MONTH WILL THIS BE THE MONTH OF NEVER!

Tell her that what she is doing is theft,she's taking a product and not paying for it!

I'd have taken the bloody food out of her hands as she was eating it and said give me the money you owe me and I'll give you back the lunch I've paid for!If not I'll take it further!

She is a blatant CF and I'm glad someone has stood up for it's about bloody time they did!

Bouffalant · 11/10/2019 14:42

B sounds like a drama seeking baby.

And i'm also at work on MN.

Itsallpetetong · 11/10/2019 14:43

This was sorted by OP ages ago, 200+ posts ago to be precise, why are people still offering advice

How? What have I missed? CF ordered lunch again and now owes £35.

LonginesPrime · 11/10/2019 14:45

Definitely cancel the lunch club.

Pursefirst · 11/10/2019 14:48

I genuinely don't understand how you are letting her get away with this OP. She is a horrid little shit and she is totally playing you now.

I would call a halt to ordering lunches in future and if B(olloxhead) hasn't paid you by end of day, or Monday at the latest, I would start the process with the small claims court.

Redglitter · 11/10/2019 14:48

This was sorted by OP ages ago, 200+ posts ago to be precise, why are people still offering advice

You must be reading posts noone else can see because the situation is definitely not sorted.

What solution are you referring to Confused

C0untDucku1a · 11/10/2019 14:52

Place marking for next week!

DoesItGetAnyBetter · 11/10/2019 14:56

Email to all

Lunch club rules are changing with immediate effect.

  1. Payment must be made before ordering or no food will be ordered.
  2. Anyone with money outstanding will be excluded until the debt is paid.

She can’t complain and everyone else gets to continue enjoying the privilege you are kindly providing.

hammeringinmyhead · 11/10/2019 14:57

I would say that you aren't ordering for her again until she settles the tab. So she's on a Pot Noodle on the 18th and 25th.

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