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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU over non-paying colleague? Lunch dramas

1000 replies

Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 12:06

I work in an open plan office. Every Friday we order lunch from a local food place. I happen to have a discount credit card for said food outlet, where I receive 30% off. I pay on this credit card and then on the first day of the next month it is paid off via direct debit from my current account. My six other colleagues always pay me in cash on the day (it's usually around/just over £5 each). Sometimes they will bank transfer it to me from their phone if they have forgotten cash. It is a bit of a pain having £30/£40 in cash every week that I then have to put aside rather than spend so that I can put it into the bank to pay off the card every month, but I do it so that we have a nice lunch and that everyone gets to take advantage of the discount. I've ended up getting a little petty cash tin that I keep everyone's money in so that I don't end up frittering it and then having to fork out at the end of the month myself.

There is one person out of the six, let's call her B, that over the last 6 months, always "forgets" her money. It started with me saying "don't worry just bring it in tomorrow" or "I don't have to pay the credit card off until the end of the month so it's OK, just transfer it before then". After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off. This is true, however everyone else has continued to give me their cash. Like I say above, it's kept in my locked drawer in my desk so it's not like I am spending it! I would be happier if everyone paid me directly into my bank at the end of the month if they wanted to, as it would be easier for me than going into town to go into the bank.

So for the last few months I have had to keep a tally of what B has ordered every week and then let her know that's what she owes when it comes towards the end of the month. This worked for a few months, but the money was always late. She would pay on the 4th or the 5th and I would have to ask every day "ah B, have you got that money for me" and end up subbing her.

So it's now the 11th, it's Friday, she hasn't paid me for last month and so I am £24 out of pocket (The direct debit for the card gets taken out of my current account on the 1st). She obviously hasn't paid me for last week (Friday 4th) either. I have asked every single morning, and reminded her every evening. She just says "I've forgotten sorry, will bring it in tomorrow" and then it never happens. I've asked if she would rather transfer it and she has said no. I've started asking in front of other people (it's an open plan office) in the hope that she would be embarrassed into remembering but it doesn't seem to bother her. It's now got to the point where I am fuming!

We just all started talking about lunch this morning and I have said I no longer want to provide the discount card lunch for everyone as I am not getting the money back in full and on time. One of the other girls has said "who's not paying you?", I looked awkward and said "B, I know you keep forgetting but I am £24 out of pocket, and I can't afford to keep doing it". She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets. Two of the other girls followed and said she's in there crying. There is now a horrible atmosphere in the office. She's now back at her desk and ignoring me. The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day. So I've given in and let them use the card. I didn't think B would have the brass neck to order something but she has.

ARGGGGGHHH! Now what?

OP posts:
Hollycatberry · 11/10/2019 14:14

** Should read "Owes Money" in my post!

Grandmi · 11/10/2019 14:14

Suggest that everyone sorts out their own lunch in future...too much hassle!!

WhatchaMaCalllit · 11/10/2019 14:14

@BigSandyBalls2015 - I am Grin

chocorabbit · 11/10/2019 14:14

Well, better to receive the money days in advance than A MONTH late. And she has the cheek to criticise you Shock

SchadenfreudePersonified · 11/10/2019 14:14

Derbee's e-mail is excellent!

Also PliveOwl's suggestion of telling the line manager that there is a problem. It isn't the manager's responsibility, but if B starts to accuse you/ take time off sick due to "stress" because of your "bullying", you need to be able to defend yourself.

And small claims court as Four has suggested.

Why is there always one arsehole who ruins things for everyone else, and destroys a lovely workplace atmosphere?

hardyloveit · 11/10/2019 14:14

She's a dick!! I don't know how you have kept your cool so far! And the fact she ordered again today is just WOW shocking! She has some front. I'd tell her she needs to pay by the end of the shift and I wouldn't care about saying it loudly either, she can run and cry again. I'd be telling everyone else in front of her how you appreciate they pay on time but until she has paid her debt no one will be using the card.

chocorabbit · 11/10/2019 14:16

If the OP send out e-mails asking for money or arranging further meals purchases B will complain to management that the OP is running a business making money out of them by forcing them to buy from her.

notacooldad · 11/10/2019 14:16

What a lot of hassle for a bit if savings on some butties!
What would I do? Get the money owed from this woman and start taking my own lunch in from home!
I'd cancel the arrangement.it seriously isnt worth all the fuss of cash boxes, bank transfers etc! I've never heard anything like it!

Crunchymum · 11/10/2019 14:17

Have I missed what cc / food outlet this is?

jumbojelly · 11/10/2019 14:17

No money, no food. It doesn't matter if you're not paying it off immediately, they've eaten the food! You're not a bank.

PigletJohn · 11/10/2019 14:17

If you aren't brave enough to stop buying lunch for CF, book a day's holiday for the next lunch day. And the one after.

And say that you aren't doing the lunch thing any more, it's too complicated for you.

loobyloo1234 · 11/10/2019 14:18

Can't someone else now get a discount card and then that way someone else can order it from now on?

OP you really need to be firmer though. Why are you subbing her? Tell her you wont order her anything from now on unless she has the cash ready

GetTheSprinkles · 11/10/2019 14:18

I would be so annoyed, she is being incredibly disrespectful of you. You don't have to be so accommodating. Personally I would stop offering to do it anymore as it's not worth the grief. She should be embarrassed for making you wait so long😑

LauraMacArthur · 11/10/2019 14:18

I was going to say don't order for them any more, but I see you've already agreeed to do it next week. If you don't have the balls to stop as of next week, then make it clear it's cash in advance. Also you could just quietly stop doing it when this has died down in a couple of weeks - say you don't have the credit card any more for some reason - e.g easier to have all spending on one card.

Juells · 11/10/2019 14:19

I'd continue asking her for the money every single day, in front of other people, and let it get more and more embarrassing. She might as well have put her hand in your coat pocket and taken money out of it. In truth, I'd worry about leaving my handbag within her reach, as she's dishonest.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 11/10/2019 14:19

in my book the bully is the one taking the money to pay for their lunch not the one who is having money taken off them. Its theft.

Yes. I've heard of lots of bullies stealing their victims' lunch money; I've never heard of one paying for their victims' lunch every week.

TimeForNewStart · 11/10/2019 14:19

Woah, I would have to put an end to this lunch club, far too much bad feeling. I can't believe she thinks she doesn't owe you it till your card is sue, the cheek!!!

rookiemere · 11/10/2019 14:20

There's always one who spoils things like this. I'm still waiting for money to be transferred to me after a holiday where we split expenses and kept a tally - it's not a huge amount of money, but I've asked for it twice now and it's not forthcoming. Next time we go away I'll be less keen to use my uber account to get us round as I know I will be out of pocket by being helpful.

I'm glad nice other colleague stuck up for you. If B hasn't paid by next week then no lunch. If by some miracle she has , then tell her she needs to pay cash in advance like everyone else.

SmashingBlouseYouHaveOn · 11/10/2019 14:21

Don't order until you have either cash in hand or money in account. If she knows you do it every Friday, she has no excuse.
No money? "Oh, thats a shame. Maybe you'll join us next time"

homeishere · 11/10/2019 14:22

Shouldn’t you be working rather than on Mumsnet?

BeaLola · 11/10/2019 14:23

I cannot believe B's front to order today. I would have placed order minus her food - she is in the wrong. You couldn't go to M&S & get free food without paying so she shouldn't either . When order comes keep her food unless she pays for it. Don't order anything else until she pays off £24.00 - Im sure your other colleagues would understand & as she has raised the issue of bullying I would take the issue to your line manager/hr rep & calmly explain what happened whilst it is still clear in your mind & that you have not bullied her and resent the implication that you have.

ChickenGoujonDestroyer · 11/10/2019 14:24

Wow shes got some brass neck!! At least someone else stuck up for you. They need to pay you Friday morning or they wont be included in the order - NO EXCEPTIONS. They can do this by cash or bank transfer. Remind them they're getting DISCOUNT as well and they can order themselves at full price if they prefer. Pathetic and the reason why I'd hate to work in an office environment.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 11/10/2019 14:26

If you wanted to prove a point to everybody (except E) who is supporting B, tell the group that you will place the order based on those who 'contribute' to it, take off the total discount and then split the cost (to be paid upfront) by the actual payers.

When they complain about having to pay an extra £1-£2 each every week to subsidise B, who has no trouble ordering food but, for some reason, can't manage to pay for it, then ask why you alone should foot the WHOLE meal for B rather than spreading the cost between those who understand that ordering/buying something requires you to pay for it. That might make them understand the situation a little better. I very much doubt they'll call themselves bullies for refusing to sub another adult every week. Apart from E (who might have self-interest at heart anyway and see which way the wind is blowing), they're almost as bad as B, in a way.

FlangeBucketFace · 11/10/2019 14:27

Isn’t this a grown up version of her taking your dinner money (sort of)? If anything, she’s bullying you by taking your money and not paying you back! Definitely have a quiet word with your manager/HR.

notacooldad · 11/10/2019 14:28

Shouldn’t you be working rather than on Mumsnet?
🤣🤣🤣🤣

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