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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU over non-paying colleague? Lunch dramas

1000 replies

Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 12:06

I work in an open plan office. Every Friday we order lunch from a local food place. I happen to have a discount credit card for said food outlet, where I receive 30% off. I pay on this credit card and then on the first day of the next month it is paid off via direct debit from my current account. My six other colleagues always pay me in cash on the day (it's usually around/just over £5 each). Sometimes they will bank transfer it to me from their phone if they have forgotten cash. It is a bit of a pain having £30/£40 in cash every week that I then have to put aside rather than spend so that I can put it into the bank to pay off the card every month, but I do it so that we have a nice lunch and that everyone gets to take advantage of the discount. I've ended up getting a little petty cash tin that I keep everyone's money in so that I don't end up frittering it and then having to fork out at the end of the month myself.

There is one person out of the six, let's call her B, that over the last 6 months, always "forgets" her money. It started with me saying "don't worry just bring it in tomorrow" or "I don't have to pay the credit card off until the end of the month so it's OK, just transfer it before then". After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off. This is true, however everyone else has continued to give me their cash. Like I say above, it's kept in my locked drawer in my desk so it's not like I am spending it! I would be happier if everyone paid me directly into my bank at the end of the month if they wanted to, as it would be easier for me than going into town to go into the bank.

So for the last few months I have had to keep a tally of what B has ordered every week and then let her know that's what she owes when it comes towards the end of the month. This worked for a few months, but the money was always late. She would pay on the 4th or the 5th and I would have to ask every day "ah B, have you got that money for me" and end up subbing her.

So it's now the 11th, it's Friday, she hasn't paid me for last month and so I am £24 out of pocket (The direct debit for the card gets taken out of my current account on the 1st). She obviously hasn't paid me for last week (Friday 4th) either. I have asked every single morning, and reminded her every evening. She just says "I've forgotten sorry, will bring it in tomorrow" and then it never happens. I've asked if she would rather transfer it and she has said no. I've started asking in front of other people (it's an open plan office) in the hope that she would be embarrassed into remembering but it doesn't seem to bother her. It's now got to the point where I am fuming!

We just all started talking about lunch this morning and I have said I no longer want to provide the discount card lunch for everyone as I am not getting the money back in full and on time. One of the other girls has said "who's not paying you?", I looked awkward and said "B, I know you keep forgetting but I am £24 out of pocket, and I can't afford to keep doing it". She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets. Two of the other girls followed and said she's in there crying. There is now a horrible atmosphere in the office. She's now back at her desk and ignoring me. The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day. So I've given in and let them use the card. I didn't think B would have the brass neck to order something but she has.

ARGGGGGHHH! Now what?

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 11/10/2019 14:05

Just stop the lunch club.

Send an email to everyone saying, I'm sorry but after this lunchtime's drama, I've decided it's not worth it to continue. If anyone else wants to take over, feel free to apply for a discount card. Shame, but am sure you all understand."

Do not mention any names and tell you line manager about the bulling accusation today.

Shame, but she really is a CF.

ForeverFaff · 11/10/2019 14:05

And I'd ask the others to chip into a 'charitable collection' to pay off freeloaders debts, so the lunch club can continue.

YoTheGinPussyOfStMawesOnThigh · 11/10/2019 14:06

She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets. Two of the other girls followed and said she's in there crying. There is now a horrible atmosphere in the office. She's now back at her desk and ignoring me. The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day.

Sounds like you are the one being bullied here OP. Email them all explaining the arrangements you choose to make for the future. Also say you are copying HR in as a serious accusation of bullying has been made against you which was heard by the others in the group.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 11/10/2019 14:07

I would protect yourself from any accusations of bullying by sending an email to the whole group. Say that currently you are enabling the group to access a 30% discount on lunch by allowing them to use your card, and you are very happy to do so. However some (nameless) in the group are not paying for their own food. You cannot afford to pay for others, nor do you want to, but you find it embarrassing to have to ask for repayment and some others clearly find it extremely distressing to be asked to pay what they owe. You don't wish to be seen to be picking on any one individual so unless all outstanding amounts are paid by Wednesday then nobody will be ordering through your card (in the interest of fairness). If the outstanding amount is paid then you are happy to continue providing everyone pays for their own food by 10am on Friday, preferably by electronic transfer into your account rather than by cash.

MaybeitsMaybelline · 11/10/2019 14:07

I don’t get why she is saying she will pay you at the end of the month as usual. She didn’t pay you at the end of last month the CF.

I hope she has transferred you Now OP.

QueenofallIsee · 11/10/2019 14:08

Please just stop doing this for your colleagues. They are ALL out of order for pushing you and not properly standing up for you when they no you are right.

The only email i would send is one saying no more discount food from you will be ordered and a link to where they can find the card themselves

Orangecake123 · 11/10/2019 14:08

OP stand up for yourself.

PurpleDaisies · 11/10/2019 14:08

Send an email to everyone saying, I'm sorry but after this lunchtime's drama, I've decided it's not worth it to continue. If anyone else wants to take over, feel free to apply for a discount card. Shame, but am sure you all understand."

NearWildHeaven · 11/10/2019 14:08

I agree with @GreenFingersWouldBeHandy

It’s not worth the agro. If you cut her out now it’ll feed into her bullying accusations. It’s a shame a kind gesture has gone sour but this is too much hassle for a lunch time issue I reckon.

PurpleDaisies · 11/10/2019 14:09

Posted by accident! Agree with this poster-lunch club is now too much hassle.

Redglitter · 11/10/2019 14:10

I wouldnt stop the arrangement because of her. I would agree with pp that as of next week everyone pays upfront. They dont pay then their order isn't placed.

I'd have thrown Bs lunch in the bin today rather than let her take the piss again

CloudPop · 11/10/2019 14:10

She must think you are raking in interest by people paying you prior to your direct debit going out. Some people.

SunglassQueen · 11/10/2019 14:10

Don't write it off. How many hours do you work to earn what she owes you
Now the others know and it may effect them she'll hopefully stump up
Go and dribble in her coffee cup😁

FunOnTheBeach20 · 11/10/2019 14:10

I CBA to RTFT but I had a similar scenario at a previous job. We had a team of about 10-12 and there was two people who never paid. It was always the same person who not only paid for, but collected the food. She was lovely but very direct and eventually said she wasn’t doing it anymore because she wasn’t getting paid. So those who did order did so, but orders came with cash or bank transfer. It was still hassle.

NearlyGranny · 11/10/2019 14:10

If you stop the arrangement completely, you will be the bad guy even though everyone knows it's B's fault.

I'd be inclined to tell everyone you'll carry on with the arrangement as they've all been straight with you, just that B cannot be part of it unless/until she pays back everything she owes and pays up front by cash or bank transfer in future.

If you say never again to her she will grumble resentfully and it will be a perpetual sour atmosphere. If you offer to let her in on your conditions, she won't have anything to complain about and if she tries the rest will tell her so.

You are kind letting them share your discount; why should you let her make you look mean to the others?

mummmy2017 · 11/10/2019 14:11

If you want them to still have lunch, you need to tell them no money no food.
It does not matter if you pay on credit card, debit card or cash. The others have the choice to be the one paying for everyone.

BackOnceAgainWithABurnerEmail · 11/10/2019 14:11

What a cow face! More front than Blackpool. Glad E supported you.

LagunaBubbles · 11/10/2019 14:11

Agree with OliveOwl, don't give card out but order everyone else's who do actually pay you as usual.

LonginesPrime · 11/10/2019 14:11

What is this madness???

You're not obliged to use your discount and the fact they guilted you into doing so today on the basis they are poor starving helpless puppies is ridiculous - presumably these are fully-grown professional adults? Let them sort their own bloody lunch out!

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 11/10/2019 14:12

MsMightyTitanAndHerTroubadours "oinky little trotters"

Cocolapew "I would have licked her lunch."

Both of these have me Grin Grin Grin at my desk and hoping nobody sees me!

HumptyDumptyHadAGreatFall · 11/10/2019 14:12

From now on tell them due to the inconsistency in you saying when you'll pay me you'll have to order your own lunch or bring something in from now on.
May feel a bit awkward but it's in both of your best interests. Keep reminding her she owes you money.

MiddleClassProblem · 11/10/2019 14:13

She can put in her order but unless she pays up front you’re not ordering it.

Fuck all she can do about it...

CakeAndGin · 11/10/2019 14:13

I haven’t read all 11 pages of responses so this might have been debated already but if B has claimed bullying, you need to go to HR.

Partly, to show you’re more than willing to work with HR if she puts a complaint in (or someone else does as she said it in the open plan). Also to get her crying wolf trick on record. If she’s accused you of bullying, she has (will) accused others too.

For next week, I’d keep ordering the sandwiches. It’s a great social thing at work and a Friday treat for everyone. It’s not fair that everyone suffers because B is a selfish B. However, I would send an email and say that you have changed your name to Amelia High-Interest Lunch Loans and that any monies not paid on the day of purchase will result in interest being charged at 1418%.

Zebraaa · 11/10/2019 14:13

Wow, what a bitch.
I’d be tempted to just not include her anymore. Order for everyone who is fair and not a CF and make a point of not asking her for an order.

Hollycatberry · 11/10/2019 14:13

Email round with Lunch Club Rules - paid up front before order, no exceptions

^^ Establish this immediately OP if you are going to continue with the venture. Payment by Friday 10am or no lunch order goes in.
I would set up a paypal account so people can pay you using just your email address (no need to share bank details with colleagues).
I would also have a section called 'Owns Money' and list B's name and oustanding balance. Refuse to take it off until she pays. Send email weekly to remind the team of the rules.

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