Friends have put a pole up in the middle of their living room.....

[FieldsOf]

Two friends of mine, who are married and in their mid 30's. Let's call them Tom and Ann. One DS.

Ann's been getting into pole dancing recently. So last month Tom put a fixed pole up right in the middle of the living room. She 'practises' on it and they've had a few 'Pole parties' where other female friends come over and all have a go. Tom and all the other husband's love it and will just sit there while their 'amazing' wives are 'exercising' while they sit their toasting each other with their beer

To be clear, it's a proper, fixed, permanent pole, that runs from the floor and attached to the ceiling. House is a small two bed semi. Living room normal size for that kind of house, ie - not extended and now there's just enough room for the corner sofa and TV.

Anyway this morning I get a text from Ann saying their DS, who's walking and bolting around now, ran into the pole and was in A&E all night! She sent me a photo and he has a massive golf ball size lump on his forehead, with lots of bruising already.
She told the doctor he hit it on the doorframe.

They are 'okay' parents but generally seem to want to change very little in their lives since DS came along.
Tbh this friendship has been on its way out for a long time on my behalf anyway, this is the cherry on the cake.

AIBU to say this is:

• Incredibly selfish
• Dangerous
• Dishonest
• Bit weird
• Generally just pretty grim?

I don't associate pole fitness with strippers, not remotely.

The bottom line, which can't be disputed, is unless these women are simply walking round the pole holding onto it, which let's be honest, gets very boring very quickly and isn't going to keep any bloke titiallated unkess he's got some problems, then there is nothing factually these women can be doing on the pole that's remotely sexy without a shit load of practice and effort.

As such, the ops dirty take on it will be far from the truth of the matter,

There are many very animate Poles in this country and many others, particularly Poland.

I went out with an animate Pole and I think he'd have been very happy indeed had I danced on him.

If they ran into the leg of a table or the stand if an outdoor parasol, how would it be different? You’re being judgemental in a way that’s nothing to do with concern for a child’s safety. So what if they want their lives to be fairly similar to how they were before?

*of, not if

Also poles need to be installed directly under a ceiling joist AND with a clear area all around. This massively limits where the pole can go. I know because I used to have one in my living room too. I had friends over and they’d all have a go, including the blokes. Judge away!

It wouldn't be my cup of tea but really it's fuck all to do with you, the kid could have hit his head off the door from our table edge as easily. You don't sound like a very good friend

Definitely grim. The sort of thing claiming to be empowering but really just pornification and male gaze. And then literally gazed at by the men in the 'parties' the OP mentioned. Boak.

My rooms are much too small for a pole,but would love to have a go on one,and I am an oldie. You don't have to equate them with strip club items, as they are fitness equipment too.

Having pole parties with a selection of neighbours,sounds like fun, and I wouldn't think it was anything sexual,but just a laugh, despite the men and their beers.

The small child's misfortune,could have happened with anything in the house. I think the hospital fibbing,was because the people probably thought,that they would get a ribbing about health and safety issues .

@StroppyWoman I once strained so hard in a pole class getting into a shoulder mount position that I farted really loud in front of everyone. Quite a niche kind of porniness to it Hahahahah. Highly erotic.

The sort of thing claiming to be empowering but really just pornification and male gaze

That's weird, because I teach men and women. Mums and daughters. Husbands and wives.

And then literally gazed at by the men in the 'parties' the OP mentioned

You actually believe that ? LOL

The sort of thing claiming to be empowering but really just pornification and male gaze. And then literally gazed at by the men in the 'parties' the OP mentioned. Boak.

This.

I laughed out loud when I read a poster above saying "empowerment", so cliched.

So they have a pole in THEIR house. How is this your business? Husbands sitting and watching thing is not for me, but again, their house, their parties, their business. I'm assuming all participants were there on their free will, so no harm done.

As for the child, don't see any issues with the said pole. I split my head open when I was little, just running and falling over on something. An accident. Similar happened to my brother. No poles involved, parents were caring enough with boring standard jobs. Accidents happen, and all kids get bumps or scratches from time to time when growing up. Non-issue.

If they're happy to have it in their luving room they should be happy to tell medical professionals the truth. It's not just as likely that the child would bump into a wall or doorframe- It's been put up in the middle of the room, somewhere the child presumably ran around before. Hopefully the shock of it will mean their child is more cautious when playing near the pole.
Also, I understand the fitness element and think that's great but not the part where the men are sitting watching.

Darling buds, yes there are animate Poles and they're generally quite good at plumbing.

I laughed out loud when I read a poster above saying "empowerment", so cliched

Is it really? Sometimes my students depend on their class to help lift them when they are struggling.
Laugh all you want, on World Mental Health day.

You actually believe that ? LOL

I've seen men's behaviour watching an amateur charity, 'strictly' dancing display. You must either know a special breed of men or be spectacularly naive if you don't realise what common male attitudes toward women performing like this are.

It IS empowering though. When you nail a move you've been working for weeks and weeks on and suddenly you can do it, bloody hell, it is such a good feeling. You won't understand that of course because you have your own opinion and know you are right, but really, you couldn't be more wrong.

Myson I saw/heard all sorts when I was teaching. Also, everyone has a pole face, and none of them sexy at all

Haha! *living room not luving room

I totally agree with you OP.

yes there are animate Poles and they're generally quite good at plumbing.

I have no idea if that's a double entendre. In this thread I think it might be.

Pole dancing hobby - fine.
Accident rather than neglect or abuse - fine
Placement in living room with toddler/young child - silly and wouldn’t be a logical choice
You as a friend - poor

Hmm I can't see anything wrong with a woman sliding her vag up and down on a massive phallic symbol in the middle of the sitting room while men stand around rating her. Nope.

A slut drop is a particular dance move where you drop to the floor. It may have other names but that one is commonly used and I am fairly sure you know the move I was referring to.

Sorry you've got the wrong end if the stick, I don't know what it's called and I'm sure you're right; I wax just using your post to point out the ridiculousness of the posters who are maintaining that there are no associations between pole dancing and the sex industry or anything sexual.

You must either know a special breed of men or be spectacularly naive if you don't realise what common male attitudes toward women performing like this are

Neither. We're not talking about seasoned dancers in clubs here.
We're talking about husbands in a living room watching inexperienced beginner pole dancers.

@Qcng Hahaha WHAT! Even in actual strip clubs with strippers pole dancing no one touches their vagina to the pole 😂😂 , you aren't allowed, very unhygienic. Also, OUCH!!! Pole burn on the muff!