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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends have put a pole up in the middle of their living room.....

457 replies

FieldsOf · 10/10/2019 14:31

Two friends of mine, who are married and in their mid 30's. Let's call them Tom and Ann. One DS.

Ann's been getting into pole dancing recently. So last month Tom put a fixed pole up right in the middle of the living room. She 'practises' on it and they've had a few 'Pole parties' where other female friends come over and all have a go. Tom and all the other husband's love it and will just sit there while their 'amazing' wives are 'exercising' while they sit their toasting each other with their beer Hmm

To be clear, it's a proper, fixed, permanent pole, that runs from the floor and attached to the ceiling. House is a small two bed semi. Living room normal size for that kind of house, ie - not extended and now there's just enough room for the corner sofa and TV.

Anyway this morning I get a text from Ann saying their DS, who's walking and bolting around now, ran into the pole and was in A&E all night! She sent me a photo and he has a massive golf ball size lump on his forehead, with lots of bruising already.
She told the doctor he hit it on the doorframe. Hmm

They are 'okay' parents but generally seem to want to change very little in their lives since DS came along.
Tbh this friendship has been on its way out for a long time on my behalf anyway, this is the cherry on the cake.

AIBU to say this is:

  • Incredibly selfish
  • Dangerous
  • Dishonest
  • Bit weird
  • Generally just pretty grim?
OP posts:
DarlingBuds19 · 10/10/2019 17:26

*them spectating

AutoAnswer · 10/10/2019 17:28

But then they'll probably still.hang around for the booze and the laughs
And it’s all consensual so... what?

HandsOffMyRights · 10/10/2019 17:31

It's the commodification of women that's grim

I agree.

Thank you DarlingBuds for expressing my thoughts.

HandsOffMyRights · 10/10/2019 17:33

And escapade, who made the original comment.

kenandbarbie · 10/10/2019 17:35

The men sitting around watching their wives is sleazy and grim. I wouldn't be friends with them either.

The kid running into the pole isn't so bad though. Only like a coffee table. But lying about it in a and e shows a strange attitude to prioritizing care of the baby.

SerenDippitty · 10/10/2019 17:35

One of my Facebook friends does pole dancing and is always posting videos of her routines. She’s in her 60s and looks incredible.

rainydays5 · 10/10/2019 17:46

The reason it maybe there is because the pole needs to be secured safely, it could be the only place were there is a good running beam for it to be safe. Mine was in my kitchen! My boys thought they were spidermen! I did have a girls pole party- it was a good laugh.

Pole fitness is amazing!! The community in the pole world is fantastic. In fact it helped me gain so much confidence and believe in myself! Instead of judging why not look at a few videos and listen to people's stories on what pole does for them. Look into World's compatitions. The strength in these ladies AND MEN is amazing!!

It's society and lack of knowledge that's creates the wrong idea pole "dancing"...

Whattodoabout · 10/10/2019 17:46

Toddlers hit their heads fairly regularly but I think placing a gigantic metal pole in the centre of a room is asking for trouble.

It is rather crass and vulgar as an aside.

Wonkydonkey44 · 10/10/2019 17:51

I pole dance and I have a permanent pole so I can practise . I am not grim , I love pole dancing . Regarding husbands watching each to their own I guess Grin

escapade1234 · 10/10/2019 17:52

All, literally all, my make friends and family members do pole dancing for fitness. It’s really common. It’s taking over cycling for the middle class middle aged fathers round our way.

Not.

thebakerwithboobs · 10/10/2019 17:53

I hope your friend hasn't got Mumsnet because she doesn't need to be Colleen Rooney to work out who you are 😂

escapade1234 · 10/10/2019 17:53

Wagatha Christie, you mean.

Ilovemypantry · 10/10/2019 17:55

If the parents thought it was ok having a metal pole in the middle of the living room, why did they lie when they went to A&E and say it was a doorframe?

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 10/10/2019 17:55

I hope your friend hasn't got Mumsnet because she doesn't need to be Colleen Rooney to work out who you are

😂😂😂

smemorata · 10/10/2019 17:58

My friends have got a fireman's pole from their son's bedroom to get downstairs. Tbh I think that is crazier but fun.

Bluntness100 · 10/10/2019 17:59

I don't think there is any point in the discussion, there is a few posters who are adamant this has to be sexual and can't see any other reason for it, no matter how manh facts they are told, and even degenerating it into wanking and hard ons.

It's sickening that people continue to view women like this, but here we have it, for these posters this is the only thing they will accept these women are doing,

There is no point furthering the discussion,

MonkeyToesOfDoom · 10/10/2019 18:00

Mind your own, or others might mind yours.

Parisa5 · 10/10/2019 18:02

Yes because all this definitely happened.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 10/10/2019 18:02

All, literally all, my make friends and family members do pole dancing for fitness. It’s really common. It’s taking over cycling for the middle class middle aged fathers round our way.

Not.

Just like literally all your female friends do too?

ysmaem · 10/10/2019 18:03

An old friend of mine had a pole in her living room. Had 2 children and regularly danced/worked out via the pole and held 1:1 pole dancing classes in her home. Both her kids could do some impressive moves on the pole and most visitors she had in her home had a go on the pole. She was a great mum and a great person. Accidents happen. It sounds like you're not a really good friend. I think you should distance yourself for their sake.

LakieLady · 10/10/2019 18:03

unless you are a tacky, chavy, silly twat

I wouldn't have dared post that, @DarlingBuds19, but now you have, I'll admit to thinking it. Blush

NotACleverName · 10/10/2019 18:05

It's not like the child concussed himself on a giant dildo is it.

On a thread showcasing repressed, Victorian attitudes this is easily the best post. Had to stifle a loud guffaw on the tram home.

sorrythisusernameisinuse · 10/10/2019 18:06

My friends got one in her living room too 😂

Tavannach · 10/10/2019 18:09

All, literally all, my make friends and family members do pole dancing for fitness. It’s really common. It’s taking over cycling for the middle class middle aged fathers round our way.

Not.

Grin
Mitzicoco · 10/10/2019 18:09

Hey! Why don't ypu switch at half term and have the husbands do it in for their their wives?! I think that could be fairly amusing, and fair enough!

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