Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends have put a pole up in the middle of their living room.....

457 replies

FieldsOf · 10/10/2019 14:31

Two friends of mine, who are married and in their mid 30's. Let's call them Tom and Ann. One DS.

Ann's been getting into pole dancing recently. So last month Tom put a fixed pole up right in the middle of the living room. She 'practises' on it and they've had a few 'Pole parties' where other female friends come over and all have a go. Tom and all the other husband's love it and will just sit there while their 'amazing' wives are 'exercising' while they sit their toasting each other with their beer Hmm

To be clear, it's a proper, fixed, permanent pole, that runs from the floor and attached to the ceiling. House is a small two bed semi. Living room normal size for that kind of house, ie - not extended and now there's just enough room for the corner sofa and TV.

Anyway this morning I get a text from Ann saying their DS, who's walking and bolting around now, ran into the pole and was in A&E all night! She sent me a photo and he has a massive golf ball size lump on his forehead, with lots of bruising already.
She told the doctor he hit it on the doorframe. Hmm

They are 'okay' parents but generally seem to want to change very little in their lives since DS came along.
Tbh this friendship has been on its way out for a long time on my behalf anyway, this is the cherry on the cake.

AIBU to say this is:

  • Incredibly selfish
  • Dangerous
  • Dishonest
  • Bit weird
  • Generally just pretty grim?
OP posts:
Mythreeknights · 10/10/2019 18:10

Hmmm why do you even care what they get up to in their own house? It's not like they've turned their house into a brothel. You sound very judgy. Pole dancing is great for core fitness and it is FUN. You should try it rather than adopting this silly attitude.

Mitzicoco · 10/10/2019 18:12

Yeah but a bunch of leering men is not really added value.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 10/10/2019 18:15

Not rtft, but has anyone asked if they have a dog yet?

Yeah, and it’s tacky.

rosegoldivy · 10/10/2019 18:17

@thebakerwithboots #wagathachristie 😂😂

Also.... www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=%23&ved=2ahUKEwiLveijmJLlAhXLPsAKHV9RC_wQwqsBMAB6BAgJEAQ&usg=AOvVaw0VTJzWxrN8ZFOD4xbU2nov

(if that works its a link to the pole dancing championships)

My advice, grab a few beers and have a go. It's a laugh. Embrace your inner stripper. (lighthearted obv.... But seriously have a few swings round it)

As for her DS..... I have to admit I kind of laughed picturing him running into a pole lol imagine it was kinda like the you've been framed videos

rosegoldivy · 10/10/2019 18:19

And again.... I bet the DHs who are there oogling have a few beers and have a go swinging round it too for a laugh.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 10/10/2019 18:28

I walked into one of the council’s stripper poles when I was a child. Not sure how I missed it- it was one of the fancy ones with a light at the top. I’ve been traumatised ever since I discovered what council workers really use them for. I thought the were just for singing in the rain.

DarlingBuds19 · 10/10/2019 18:48

@MySonIsAlsoNamedBort

That was so fragmented I have no idea how to respond ... Other than to say that the point I was making is that your statement that your male friends only commented on the skill, tricks, athleticism etc in pole dancing/fitness ... just reflects what they chose to comment on. And I think it's naive or disingenuous to think that people, even good friends, tell each other every single thought that goes through their minds, esp. sexual, base, primitive thoughts (in spite of your apparent outrage at me (paraphrasing) "presuming to tell you about the level of sharing/oversharing/honesty you have with your friends").

I just didn't find the statement convincing.

DarlingBuds19 · 10/10/2019 18:50

*Not rtft, but has anyone asked if they have a dog yet?

Yeah, and it’s tacky.*

Guilty as charged.

I asked if they have a fashionable dog.

awarmglow · 10/10/2019 18:50

A friend on mine takes pole classes. She is amazingly strong and fit and finds pole pushes her to her limits. It's akin to Cirque du Soleil, not strip club. Maybe it's for the fitness benefits given its in a communal space?

DarlingBuds19 · 10/10/2019 18:52

It's not like they've turned their house into a brothel

They are kinda half way toward swinging and "reader's wives" though.

motherheroic · 10/10/2019 18:58

The way people love to throw around the word grim on this site is so annoying.

HandsOffMyRights · 10/10/2019 19:01

DarlingBudsGrin

Now feeling compelled to watch The League of Gentlemen's Medusa Touch to see poor old Alvin Steele handing out the nibbles in the swinging suburbs.

m.imdb.com/title/tt0630131/

MySonIsAlsoNamedBort · 10/10/2019 19:08

@DarlingBuds19 Thanks for the detailed review of my Statement.
I suppose all my male friends are just constantly hiding their big throbbing erections from me and darting to the loo for quick wanks.
Thanks for opening my eyes to the truth, hopefully now they have been opened they don't ejaculate into them with their big uncontrollable hard ons.

Aprillygirl · 10/10/2019 19:25

Pole dancing is good exercise. I want to go to one of their pole parties and I would hate to have you as a friend.

JoObrien7 · 10/10/2019 19:33

This is a fake thread imho ..

Pandaintheporridge · 10/10/2019 19:34

If it's exercise, why are there parties? I go to the gym, I wouldn't go to a gym party. I go running, I wouldn't go to a running party. There's clearly something more going on than "exercise" or it wouldn't be something you do with friends and beer and spectators!

JoObrien7 · 10/10/2019 19:45

Kate decided to learn pole dancing ... for reasons unknown

SerenDippitty · 10/10/2019 19:56

The routines my Facebook friend does are more like this

m.youtube.com/watch?v=rCRP-5om_3Y

Nothing sexual about it, it’s just gymnastics/acrobatics.

riotlady · 10/10/2019 19:56

@Pandaintheporridge roller skating is a sport and also makes for a great party

also have you ever heard of dancing? Fun for fitness and parties, I hear

Mousetolioness · 10/10/2019 20:10

@MySonIsAlsoNamedBort

I've literally watched a room full of men watch a 2 hour documentary on cleated wood. They'll watch anything.
Grin

Lweji · 10/10/2019 20:37

What's your view on tango, OP? I hear it's a brothel's dance and my bf wants us to attend classes. AIBU to think it's grim and not appropriate for a mum?

Majorcollywobble · 10/10/2019 21:35

All five !

Iwantacookie · 10/10/2019 21:41

I do pole fitness it's fantastic.
I also own a pole which I do put up in my lounge as it's the only room big enough. Takes 5 minutes to put up/take down.
I couldn't leave it up all the time.
It would drive me mad.
I would love a freestanding one but they're very expensive.

RhinoskinhaveI · 10/10/2019 21:42

Is a kind of version of 'readers wives' isn't it

Rachelover60 · 10/10/2019 21:49

Lweji
What's your view on tango, OP? I hear it's a brothel's dance and my bf wants us to attend classes. AIBU to think it's grim and not appropriate for a mum
........
What your boyfriend is talking about is the Argentine Tango, not the ballroom tango. Quite different altogether (& very sexy).

I'm sure I'd get my legs tangled with his and we'd fall over. However, you may be better at it! Go for it.

Paindaintheporridge: Cyclists have cool parties so I'm told.

Swipe left for the next trending thread