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To think the carotid artery is not a porn prop.

490 replies

SmileEachDay · 10/10/2019 11:22

This from Twitter today.

link to the Tweet

To think the carotid artery is not a porn prop.
OP posts:
Kit19 · 10/10/2019 13:14

@Idontwanttotalk

That’s exactly what I wonder. How do ppl discover this is what they are into? What makes a woman say in her head “you know sex is awesome but I wonder if it would be better if someone tried to choke me?” I mean I am genuinely curious because it’s never once occurred to me.

shwingshwing · 10/10/2019 13:15

And what a way to trivialise and insult genuine victims of abuse.

managedmis · 10/10/2019 13:15

Dunno what to say about this anymore. It's all so sad. Just want to live in a commune full of women.

All those (men) on porn hub Sad it's just so tragic.

Men simply just don't give a shit about women. They really don't.

TheProdigalKittensReturn · 10/10/2019 13:15

It's like being besieged by the sexual equivalent of Jehovah's Witnesses, reading this kind of thread. There you are trying to have a serious conversation about how a formerly niche sexual practice became normalized via porn despite being one of the most dangerous things you can do to a partner and suddenly they're banging on the door and insisting that you take a copy of the kink equivalent of The Watchtower. Evangelism - pretty much never welcomed by those on the receiving end no matter what it's about.

The issue here is that this has gone from being something that some people with unusual interests did sometimes to something that many men expect and just assume they can do with no warning or discussion, like it's the equivalent of playing with your partner's nipples or something. It's not. It can kill you. Many, probably most, women don't like or want it. If a few do then great, good for you, but that's not really relevant to the discussion because the whole point is that it's being treated as a standard and non-negotiable part of sex by a lot of men, and that wasn't the case even ten years ago. Something has changed, and it's not surprising that people may want to talk about how and why that's happened.

If any man ever attempted to put his hands around my neck during sex it would be the last time he ever touched me. I suspect that this is a far less unusual position than some would like us to think.

beautifulmelody · 10/10/2019 13:15

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AnyMinuteNow · 10/10/2019 13:16

Putting aside the dangers to women, for a moment, what man in his right mind feels ok to hurt and dominate women.

What does it do for a man to throttle a naked woman? Ultimate control?? !!

Most would run from that level of control of another. Its very very sick.

Aridane · 10/10/2019 13:17

In another note, Is there a scientific reason why it would be enjoyed?

Yes, for men it’s the erection (and sometimes ejaculation) triggered. A physiological response noted even in contemporary reports of public hangings.

And more generally, the reduction of oxygecan lead to a temporary high feeling, of dizziness and euphoria

shwingshwing · 10/10/2019 13:18

I give up as I feel like I’m banging my head against the wall. There are three or four of us on this thread who are into kinky sex and each one of us has said that NO, it isn’t ‘normal’, NO, it shouldn’t be reflected in mainstream porn for this reason, NO, it shouldn’t be expected as standard and NOBODY should do ANYTHING to their sexual partner without their consent. Fucking hell

SmileEachDay · 10/10/2019 13:18

tbh I couldn’t give a stuff what consenting adults do fit kicks - as long as consent is freely and enthusiastically given AND some critical thinking has been applied to the choices that are made AND as long as no one else is being exploited to facilitate said kicks.

What I care about is women and girls being hurt, abused and killed in the name of porn soaked sex. I care about teenage girls who think that the only way to have sex is how it happens on Pornhub. And I care about the normalisation of choking as a sexual act by this dude on Twitter, by mainstream porn, by Teen Vogue (actually they promoted anal, but it wouldn’t surprise me)

OP posts:
feelingverylazytoday · 10/10/2019 13:18

Harriet Harman and Mark Garnier (MPs) are on this right now, seeking to end the 'rough sex gone wrong' defence to murder. Hopefully it will go through.

Aridane · 10/10/2019 13:19

(When I say ‘for men’, I mean when done TO men, not BY men)

LilyMumsnet · 10/10/2019 13:19

Hi folks,

Can we have a bit of peace and love, please?

seaweedandmarchingbands · 10/10/2019 13:20

Repulsive.

TheProdigalKittensReturn · 10/10/2019 13:20

You'll be telling us next that some men enjoy a sharp kick to the bollocks. Oh yes, and my defence will be that he asked for it.

Some do, but the thing is, if you tried that as a defence in court and there was no evidence that the man in question had a history of liking that kind of thing, and the kicking had seriously injured him? You probably wouldn't get let off with a shrug and an "oh well some men are into that, shame it went wrong but these things happen" in the way that cases with men strangling their female partners during sex and then claiming they wanted it afterwards have been going.

So yes, this is a feminist issue.

shwingshwing · 10/10/2019 13:20

Yet you’re all soooo keen to tell us that we are being abused, we’re mentally ill (Confused), that our sexual partners hate us.

Go and enjoy your sex life and let us please just enjoy ours. I’m not trying to convince anyone to try BDSM, I’ve no such agenda, but it’d be nice if you could just accept that some people are into that. Including women.

beautifulmelody · 10/10/2019 13:21

Who does your partner enjoy hurting you? Putting your consent aside. Why does he want to do this?

SBD1 · 10/10/2019 13:22

@AnyMinuteNow Porn! I mean, I've heard lads as young as 15 joking about what they're going to do to their girlfriends. Some of it may well be "shittalk" but they got it from somewhere and its "banter". If its "banter" it means its now socially acceptable in their circles. I don't know how that is fixed.

We were supposed to be getting age verification for porn but didn't that get delayed? Not that it would solve stuff thats already ingrained but might at least protect the younger generation (under 10 maybe). Idk its a steaming pile of shit.

Thank god for Virgin Media webfilter, thats the only barrier I have in my house

AnyMinuteNow · 10/10/2019 13:22

I am.afraid any man or woman that gets off on being dominated has deeply rooted sexual and personal power issues, and should seek help, not to enlist others to their perversions and dangerous practices! Confused

WomanDaresTo · 10/10/2019 13:22

Harriet Harman and Mark Garnier (MPs) are on this right now, seeking to end the 'rough sex gone wrong' defence to murder. Hopefully it will go through.

Can I ask you to drop your MP a v quick email in support? It's not certain this would go through - it will make all the difference:

wecantconsenttothis.uk/actnow

shwingshwing · 10/10/2019 13:23

@beautifulmelody it doesn’t hurt. It restricts blood flow to the brain which heightens an orgasm. I enjoy that, so he does it.

shwingshwing · 10/10/2019 13:23

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TemporaryPermanent · 10/10/2019 13:24

I'm fine with BDSM. Domination and submission can be brilliantly erotic and fun. Choking doesn't and shouldn't be included in that imo because it is too risky. It's not 'breath play', its death play.

MorganKitten · 10/10/2019 13:24

Some people like breath play...

SmileEachDay · 10/10/2019 13:25

I don't know how that is fixed

It’s something I challenge two or three times a week at work (I’m a teacher) - our youth are porn soaked. It’s actually horrifying. Boys see extreme sex acts way before they have actual sex. It’s a very, very concerning situation.

OP posts:
Degloved · 10/10/2019 13:25

I don't think this kind of thing should be represented in mainstream porn

I think it's very dangerous

I think actively shaming those that do enjoy it as part of a consensual and measured relationship is outrageous though

@gingersausage do you ever bring anything to a conversation other than criticism of others input?