To think the carotid artery is not a porn prop.

[SmileEachDay]

This from Twitter today.

link to the Tweet

Gotta love the fact that you have a quote upthread from a pro domme saying "don't do it, too dangerous" but all the peeps with far less training and experience somehow know better than her.

I think this thread has lost its way. The issues of sexual violence, porn and safe BDSM are being lumped into together when they’re separate.

Sexual violence is inexcusable, and entirely separate to consensual BDSM.

Porn is a problem, as it is unrealistic.

Good day to all.

Thanks for the link to get this stopped.

Can't come soon enough if some of the posts on here are anything to go by, and all the deaths that are occurring.

Some seem to take this so lightly and it's such a serious and dangerous issue.

@SirVixofVixHall

This isn’t a feminist board at all. It’s AIBU

I know they do MorganKitten. I'm saying the risk /benefit calculation is so skewed on this one that it is not worth it.

Imagine actually killing or disabling someone this way! Fuck.

Its very lucky that all the pp who enjoy being choked in this thread have partners who are so highly trained in the art of strangulation know exactly when and where to apply pressure, for how long and to what extent. And that they don't ever, even for a second, lose one iota of control because they are, oh I don't know, getting into it or even having an orgasm?

Thank goodness all men who choke women are such experts in the field of near-strangulation.

Porn is a problem, as it is unrealistic

Lack of realism is really not the main issue with porn. That minimises the issue massively.

There just aren't many men getting their neck squeezed, are there? Women weirdly don't find it a turn on

And I know there'll be a flurry of 'oh I do, I do, it's great' etc but tbh I just don't believe you

Not minimising at all. It’s unrealistic and dangerous for young people to try and copy what they see in porn. I’ve explained my view on this in greater detail upthread, this was just a summary.

Pornhub, the most traveled porn site in the world, boasts in its annual “Year in Review” that it had approximately 28.5 billion visitors in 2017, which translates into about 81 million per day.

^^

From the guardian link on the previous page

Off topic, but couldn't these people be doing something more productive?

@smileeachday

For context, my ex husband would rape me whilst I was asleep. He is 30, literally soaked in voyeur porn and things like that. He did other things that were not acceptable like he was obsessed with upskirt porn.

Interestingly reflecting some previous comments from other posters - I think he is a weak, pathetic and insecure man who couldn't get sex acts from me willingly so took them. Women weren't attracted to him so he got off on violating their privacy. I'm not a psych so I couldn't for a second begin to understand why he was like that, I am interested actually BUT I found it really telling that he did it AFTER I left him as well. I was on some strong painkillers and had gone to his to talk about divorce and I fell asleep. I woke up to being assaulted. He feels absolutely digusted with himself and was heavily depressed yet months later he kinda excuses it. He doesn't directly link it but he has in the same sentence mentioned how I earned twice as much as him and had so much more money whereas he had nothing. Now that is obviously his issue, BUT he can only have got those perversions from porn. No chance did he think that all up on his own.

And that specifically is the reason I want to protect my son. From ever making a woman feel that shit.

AnyMinuteNow No it wasnt through a man, it was from around 15 years ago from having sex whilst inadvertently wearing a choker necklace that was too tight, I then asked my partner at the time a few weeks later to choke me.
I appreciate your concern for my health and the many other humans that enjoy being choked during sex, including a handful of my former male and female partners. But we are all fine.
I do genuinely agree with your concerns that choking is being spoken about in a way that it is something normal during sex and par of the course instead of it being something that needs a lot of thought and discussion between partners before they even attempt it. Having Dave from tinder thinking its okay to wrap his hands around the throat of and choke every girl he has sex with is terrifying.

There just aren't many men getting their neck squeezed, are there?

Why do you think that?

@managedmis

Actually it's proven that males experience a biological reaction (erection) from it. In fact, most of the well known deaths from self-asphixiation have been Male.

Porn is ultra real. That’s kind of the problem. Women really are getting their arses stretched, they are being spat on and slapped and they are genuinely being choked.

Of course what that poster really means is that it creates unrealistic expectations in men.

SBD1

I’m so sorry that happened to you.

THIS IS A FEMINIST BOARD SO TAKE YOUR UBER LIBERAL ARSE AND YOUR PERVY FETISH ELSEWHERE

Actually it’s AIBU in a parenting forum ...

Boys see extreme sex acts way before they have actual sex.

This I think is the answer to the what happened question. We now have a generation of men, and more boys who will be the same, who were watching streaming hardcore porn on the internet years before they had any sort of real world sexual experience. They have no context for any of what they're seeing so rather than being filtered through actual experiences the way it might be for men who're in their 30s and up now, for the younger generation porn, often very violent porn, was their first exposure to sex and has formed the majority of their ideas about what sex is going to be like.

Going by what we're seeing so far the results are really, really not good.

It's almost like a chicken and the egg situation. Which came first, the porn or the expectation and whose idea was it to start with!

Did anyone ever see the Graham Norton interview with Diane Kruger where said that in a Tarantino film in which she gets choked Quentin asked if he could do the hands himself? She didn’t feel comfortable with it but she didn’t know what to say.

John Wotsit the Scouse comedian, who was also on the sofa was horrified and replied: Just say no!’ He clearly thought QT was a massive perv.

Well I think that even if there was consent, it should still be murder if the person dies.

People undertake a tonne of risky activities I'd personally never touch with a barge pole. Base jumping, cave diving, swimming with sharks... In each case you're relying on someone else to set it up safely enough so you don't end up dead.

Therefore if it's truly consensual I don't have a problem with what people get up to in their own time.

Porn often takes things to the dangerous / painful extremes and this is a huge issue. But I don't think it means we should make extreme sexual practices illegal. The issue we should be tackling is the normalisation of these extreme practices and the portrayal of them in mass porn.

I don't think it's helpful to insinuate that those who genuinely enjoy it are defective and make vaguely threatening comments about their partner killing them. That's beyond the pale.

And FWIW, as a younger woman I've never once come across a man who expects to have anal sex, expects me to be fully shaved, or who thinks choking is a normal part of sex. I think there's a touch of dramatisation happening here.

@SmileEachDay Thank you, it wasn't intended as a sympathy post. Just I guess context and explanation that I really do understand the issues.

And FWIW, as a younger woman I've never once come across a man who expects to have anal sex, expects me to be fully shaved, or who thinks choking is a normal part of sex. I think there's a touch of dramatisation happening here

Spend 15 minutes talking to teenage boys. I’m absolutely not dramatising anything.