To be annoyed by commuters ignoring 'baby on board'?

[puffingalong]

I think the title summarises my gripe. The baby on board badge is not really working (sometimes it does, but not at rush hour and not the majority of the time). I could believe that the badge isn't noticeable enough, I don't think it's difficult in my case when you include my ginormous bump (I'm 7 months and my bump is on the large side, the rest of me pretty small).

In my experience, the majority of people sitting in the seats for disabled/pregnant/elderly people just don't bother looking up to check if anyone else needs those seats more than them.

I know I could ask for a seat but I'm too British! Has anyone found any fun shaming tactics for this situation?

Use your words

OP just ask for the seat! I know from being both a pregnant and non pregnant commuter that I am in my own little world travelling to/from work so wouldn’t even look around to notice your badge. I never once had any problems with people giving me a seat if I asked. You can’t complain about this and want ‘fun’ shaming ideas if you won’t help yourself!

I always just asked for a seat if I felt like I needed it, I preferred standing most the time though other than when I felt sick.

I don't think shaming people is the right tactic, some could be genuinely disabled or need the seat more than you.

When I'm travelling I'm normally on my phone so wouldn't even notice your badge. Just be a normal person and ask for a seat instead of wanting to shame people.

I like the wording someone else used "if you dont need the accessible seat..." . It gives people the chance to just say 'sorry but I do'

I hate those bloody badges! It’s so ‘ I am a precious ambulatory chalice, society should worship at my fertility and condition’ in a really attention seeking way. You say yourself that your bump is obvious so wtf is the point in badge? I would always, always offer you a seat, but I’d think you were a dick for wearing that badge when it’s patently bloody obvious.

The only time you might need a badge is if you have a hidden pregnancy related condition in very early pre bump pregnancy, and even then, if I see someone looking grey or ill I’d offer them my seat anyway. The badge should be binned.

And if they ignore the bump, the ain’t gonna look at your bloody badge.

I used to aim my question at a group rather than targeting an individual.

Please do this. I have been asked and tut- tutted as an individual but I do have health problems that are not visible and I'd rather not disclose my medical history just to not seem like a cunt refusing to give up my seat.

The problem with your 'fun shaming techniques' is you could be shaming someone who has a hidden disability or another reason why they are sitting. If you just ask "Excuse me, would it be possible to let me sit down please?" and gesture towards your bump, they would be able to explain that they have whatever illness, or say "Oh sorry I didn't see you, of course" Rather than humiliating them on the spot.

Please don't raise your kid to be as twatty as you are.

Actually reminds me of when my dad broke his leg and was sat at the front of the bus (I was standing near the back as we got wedged up as it was so rammed and had his crutches).
Pregnant woman got on and started making passive aggressive comments to her friend about how men should offer a pregnant woman her seat (aimed at my dad) kept banging him etc. It wasn't until we we're getting off that I came down with his crutches and saw he had a broken leg and she shut her face. There we're some choice words from my dad as he departed but she deserved it for being such an arse.

Just ask (I thought you were on about a car sign for a bit 😂).

I would always normally stand up but I'm quite poorly myself at the minute so wouldn't be able to but I would hate for you to think I was just being unkind - just ask - it may shame some who are just being arses to get up or wake those up who just haven't noticed.

The reality is though why do you feel you deserve a seat more?
Why is it other people's problem that you got pregnant.
That's your issue to deal with. No one else's.

FFS, shaming techniques are just twatty PA bollocks that makes you look like a right tit because the target will likely just turn the volume up on their phone and not hear any of your guff through their Air Pods. Or may not even speak English. Or won't care. Grow a spine and just ask for a seat if you need one.

Also. If you tried shame tactics on me to get a seat that I was on I'd tell you to go and bitch to the man who'd put the baby in you and see if he cares.

You try and shame someone and they can make you look a lot worse very easily.

You try and shame someone and they can make you look a lot worse very easily.

Shock twist: saying 'go and bitch to the man who put the baby in you' would not, in fact, make the person you're saying it to look worse.

A lot of London commuters wouldn't notice if the person next to them was on fire let alone a badge.

You defo need to ask.

a load of men in seats sat studiously looking downwards or desperately staring at their papers

"Desperately staring"? Isn't it likelier that they're just... you know... reading?

As she moved up the carriage and I moved down, we were both really quite clumsy and seemed to knock the newspapers of every man we passed. It was quite satisfying.

Why?

I know exactly how you feel, people never hear me when I ask for a seat generally so I usually have to direct it just to one person so ask whoever’s in the end/priority seat unless they obviously need it. I’m terribly British and apologetic about it but no one has minded so far! You also don’t always have to ask if you position yourself facing the carriage as people seem to notice more.

It’s not so much I can’t stand but that some commuters will still bash into you when you just want to protect your bump. I only ask when it’s a really busy or long journey.

I know I could ask for a seat but I'm too British! Has anyone found any fun shaming tactics for this situation?

Yes, if someone is rude in asking me to move or tries shaming me out and f an accessible seat, I usually offer them the seat and then get my white cane out of my bag as I stand up.

@53rdWay I wouldn't care how I looked. I've got a seat.

Ive just been on 20 minute tube and a msn just offered his seat to an older lady and someone gave up seat to a man with crutches. Neither had to ask

@burritofan
You have to ask. In some cases, you have to wallop them in the side of the head with your bump, muttering "Badoing!" because even when you ask they're all staring intently at their phones and pretending they haven't noticed the human Space Hopper standing next to them and their precious priority seat.

Alternatively: people are in their own worlds after long days at work/school/etc and genuinely haven't noticed that the First Pregnant Woman Ever needs them to stand to attention and remove themselves from their seat immediately!

If you’re sitting in a priority seat and you don’t need a priority seat, being ‘off in my own little world’ is a bit of a shit excuse really. Keep an eye out for anyone getting on who needs the seat, like the rest of us manage to do.

because even when you ask they're all staring intently at their phones and pretending they haven't noticed the human Space Hopper standing next to them and their precious priority seat.

Or maybe they need the seat as much as a pregnant women. Pretty fucking rude to 'wallop' someone with your bump because you think you are more entitled to the seat than they are, some people have hidden disabilities.

@53rdWay I agree, and if I'm sitting in the seat, that's what I do. That said, it's no less rude than "walloping" someone with a bump, so...