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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not do this

178 replies

WhatTheFluck · 09/10/2019 20:41

Asked after school nanny today to do a later shift tomorrow, so will finish at 10pm.
Aibu not to do an evening meal for her? She isn't coming straight from another job

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 09/10/2019 21:02

Presuming she will be making dinner for the children? Can she not eat the same as them?

Mookie81 · 09/10/2019 21:04

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DartmoorChef · 09/10/2019 21:05

Of course you should feed her. Unless you are starving your kids too until 10pm then surely she would be welcome to eat with them.

DeathStare · 09/10/2019 21:06

Normally does 3pm till 6pm. Need her to do 3PM till 10PM

Finishes other job at 12PM
Don't normally leave dinner for her
Only a short commute to mine and back

So usually you don't leave her dinner because usually she is home at a reasonable time to get her own dinner at home. This time she won't be home at a reasonable time to get dinner at her own home, so leave her some.

FudgeBrownie2019 · 09/10/2019 21:07

Christ, how tight must you be to not want to feed an adult in your home who's trusted enough to look after your precious DC? Surely you want to treat her as well as you possibly can?

Teachermaths · 09/10/2019 21:09

3-10 with no food. You are mean OP. That's 7 hours.

JasonPollack · 09/10/2019 21:10

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feelingsinister · 09/10/2019 21:11

Why don't you text and ask if she'd like you to leave her some dinner? Seems tight not to.

If you can't be arsed to cook for her then leave her a tenner or a decent ready meal.

RaininSummer · 09/10/2019 21:11

Well she will need to eat in that time especially since she will have had lunch before coming to you and won't be home until over 7 hours later. So she either has a break long enough to get or make food or you feed her surely.

Almostfifty · 09/10/2019 21:12

Just do enough for the lot of them.

Bluntness100 · 09/10/2019 21:13

There a big difference between working three till six and three till ten.

Why wouldn't you want to feed her? She's looking after your kids. What are you expecting her to bring a packed lunch or something for her tea?

MarianaMoatedGrange · 09/10/2019 21:13

What is wrong with you? Why do you even need to ask this? Fucks sake.

KatnissMellark · 09/10/2019 21:13

Wtf? Of course make sure there is food available.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 09/10/2019 21:13

Well no of course you don't normally leave dinner for her as she usually finishes at 6 Confused

I feel like I'm missing something here

pallisers · 09/10/2019 21:14

Won't she be feeding your children dinner? Why on earth wouldn't you leave enough for her to and a note saying 'left dinner for you - help yourself to anything else you need?"

housewifeoflittleitaly · 09/10/2019 21:14

This can’t be real?!

TheQueef · 09/10/2019 21:14

Fucks sake mookie that made me actually lol.

constantlyseekinghappiness · 09/10/2019 21:16

This can’t be a real question.

TanyaChix · 09/10/2019 21:17

Rather than thinking about duties and obligations, why not think about it from the point of view of simply being nice and thoughtful? Goodwill works both ways.

Cordial11 · 09/10/2019 21:17

Noone is this tight and inconsiderate surely?

weeblefeet · 09/10/2019 21:18

You're expecting her to work an extra 4 hours with no food ????

Hugsgalore · 09/10/2019 21:18

I can't believe there is someone out there who thinks it's ok not to provide food for someone doing an extra 4 hours work and working until 10pm

This has to be a reverse

Playingforkeeps · 09/10/2019 21:18

Is there a reason why you don't want to leave a meal for her OP? Confused

I'm a nanny and although I normally finish work around 6pm I occasionally stay on later. I always bring something with me for my dinner as I don't like to assume the parents are happy for me to eat their food, however every family I have worked for have always told me to help myself to anything in the fridge or cupboards.

Grandmi · 09/10/2019 21:19

You don’t come across as a particularly caring person!! The nanny is doing YOU a favour and you are asking about feeding her. How many extra pennies will that cost you ?

Ohnoherewego62 · 09/10/2019 21:20

Of course you have to offer her something.

If her dinner time is usually after she finishes at 6 normally, then it is unreasonable of you not to make something.

Can you text them and ask if they want dinner made?