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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask class teacher who went in my childs bag?

376 replies

SamAntHaHa · 09/10/2019 14:09

Something has been taken from my childs bag. It is not valuable and I won't get it back because it's a single use item for personal use.
I don't mind it being used by others but it's unsettling for things to be taken and not be informed by staff or my childs friends if one of them decided they wanted to take it. It feels like something being stolen from their bag since someone went in there without permission and took what they wanted when the bag was in the classroom with everyone elses bags.
AIBU to ask staff who went in my childs bag?
And then to ask the person apologise for taking it from my childs bag without mentioning it since it is stealing?

OP posts:
mabelisthebest · 09/10/2019 14:11

What is the thing?

Teddybear45 · 09/10/2019 14:11

Who told you it was stolen, your child?

AudacityOfHope · 09/10/2019 14:12

Is the teacher likely to know? I would think it's unlikely that she'd be in a position to spot which kid had gone into another's bag.

NearlyGranny · 09/10/2019 14:14

YABU if you think staff will know who went into the wrong bag. You'd have to know which bag belonged to each of 30-odd children and be looking in the right place at the right moment.

It would be VR to mention to the teacher that something small has gone missing and ask him/her to have a general word with the class about respecting other people's property.

Are you sure it was taken? Children will often pass blame if they are in the spot.

Pitterpatterpettysteps · 09/10/2019 14:18

what was it? how do you know it was stolen and not lost?

TeenPlusTwenties · 09/10/2019 14:19

It depends.

If say it was an EpiPen then YANBU.

Struggling to think of what other 'single use item for personal use' could be. Sanitary pad? Plaster?

Depending on age of child, are you sure they didn't give it away to another child?

NerrSnerr · 09/10/2019 14:22

How old is your child and what was the item. Do the children all have the same bags (like school book bags?) My daughter has had a few things go missing from her book bag (communication books etc) but I know it's just a mix up or she's put it in someone else's bag.

TheCanterburyWhales · 09/10/2019 14:23

Context is all
Mars bar?
Tampon?
EpiPen?
Age?

Ellisandra · 09/10/2019 14:25

I don’t understand why you say it feels like stolen.
It is stolen.

My response would depend what it was.

Food: alert teacher that a child may be hungry
Sanpro: alert teacher that school should publicise access via school office
Toy: alert teacher that theft is happening and leave them to decide what happens next (reminder about bags, or CCTV)

EmpressJewel · 09/10/2019 14:25

I've had things go missing from my children's bags. It's not fair, but it's life.

The school is unlikely to be able to identify who took the item and even if they did, they aren't going to tell you.

Sunshine93 · 09/10/2019 14:26

If you are saying another child went into you child's bag and stole something then the teacher is unlikely to know who it was. A teacher who witnessed a theft would deal with it then and there not keep quiet until the parent enquired.

FizzyIce · 09/10/2019 14:27

Why so vague ?
?How are we supposed to say either way when we have not even a fraction of the story

Hesafriendfromwork · 09/10/2019 14:30

I am confused

You think a teacher, not one in particular, saw another child go in your childs bag and take something and didnt dealbwith it at the time?
And if that happened (unlikely) you expect that teacher to now admit they saw it but didnt do anything?

And you want to speak to all the teachers about this?

BlackCatSleeping · 09/10/2019 14:33

I never get these vague posts. Why not just name change before you post if you are worried about being outed? Or fudge the details slightly? It’s so hard to say based on the information you gave.

Original poster
SamAntHaHa · 09/10/2019 14:33

I know how many are in my childs bag for their personal use. And I check if they have been used incase I need to add more. My child confirms if they used them. But this time they said they didn't use it. It is easily accessible in the bag so it is obvious that one was taken and the others left.
I thought perhaps someone was in need of it as opposed to just wanting to steal something accessible.
If someone was in need then it is possible the staff knew someone needed it.
It's possible my childs bag was the nearest place to get the item quickly. But no one has informed me.

I just am not sure whether staff care about hearing that someone has taken something from my childs bag without permission.

OP posts:
LolaSmiles · 09/10/2019 14:35

I'd speak to the teacher asking for a reminder about respecting people's property. I'm not sure what you think they'll know about who did it though.

mulky · 09/10/2019 14:36

YABU to go to such lengths to be vague about something so trivial

TeenPlusTwenties · 09/10/2019 14:36

If they are 13 and it is a sanitary pad then they won't care (and will think you are slightly crazy for raising it I would think).
If they are 8 and it is an EpiPen then it would be a big deal.

Alittleodd · 09/10/2019 14:37

The vaguery is just too much for me I'm afraid.

Hesafriendfromwork · 09/10/2019 14:37

If things are going missing. Speak to a teacher.

But no one knows who it was, or it would have been dealt with.

notso · 09/10/2019 14:40

Just say what it is!
Nappy
Pull-up
Wipe
Tissue

Could it have fallen out of the bag or does your child's bag look like another child's bag who'd have the same item?

AudacityOfHope · 09/10/2019 14:40

Christ you're making this difficult. It's also shit of you to suggest that's teacher wouldn't care about a child's belongings being stolen.

Good luck speaking to the school if this is how you approach trivial things in life.

ExhaustedGrinch · 09/10/2019 14:41

YANBU and should mention it. I think I can guess what item you mean from your post and I can understand why you would need to know if item/s have been used and need replacing. I can understand why, if in a fix, staff may have needed to use the item (although they should have their own supplies for emergencies?) but they absolutely should have informed you.

Windydaysuponus · 09/10/2019 14:41

Condom??

Original poster
SamAntHaHa · 09/10/2019 14:41

A few years ago things were stolen from my childs bag and her teacher couldn't give a toss. The same teacher also didn't give a toss when a gang of boys were beating up my child and kicking her where her legs meet. But since it's a new term I have not yet spoken to her new teacher yet to gauge if this one will also not be interested in those things.

OP posts:
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