To think you don't have to share a piece of cake

[WaxMeltHoarder]

We went to visit PILs over the weekend. On the way, we stopped at a nearby town which has a regular-and very good-artisan market. We bought a heap of food to take to PILs for a nice lunch, and DD, age 12, bought herself a piece of cake from one of the stalls. This cake has apparently been all the rage amongst local children, it has been all over local social media. It's basically a rose gold themed cake piled high with sweets and icing. £3 for a small slice but DD bought it with her own money.

We went to PILs, had lunch, DD then ate her cake. All good.

Later, as we were leaving, MIL said "thank you for bringing lunch, it was lovely" FIL then said "yes and maybe next time DD will have learned to share her cake, instead of stuffing it all herself"

I laughed it off and said "oh well, good luck getting a twelve year old girl to share anything with sugar in it" and FIL got really ratty, saying "well I'm afraid she should be made to share, I couldn't believe it when I saw her sitting there, eating that cake without offering it around"

DH at this point said "Eh, it was one slice, and she bought it herself" FIL huffed a bit and we left.

AIBU to think this is bonkers? A box of chocolates yes, but surely nobody expects to share one slice of cake? If everyone had had some, there would have been none for DD!

I think I'd be tempted to buy this man the same cake and lace it with laxatives. A man who wants to steal treats from 3 year olds and 12 year old deserves no less.

Hahahaha 😂

And anyone who eats their special treat came, watches a child eat their cake and moans about it afterwards is a greedy bastard

It's a slice of cake. Anybody who's so attached to it that they couldn't possibly give it away is ridiculous.
So you agree the FIL is ridiculous, over the cake and over the duck biscuit.

OMFG at the duck! What a selfish pig! 😮😡

It was her cake! She's a child, she should be allowed to eat it guilt free at her grandparents ffs. This sounds like my PiL (who we no longer see due to their batshit ways). My parents would probably look at the huge slice, declare it's not big enough for her and get a scoop of ice cream and sprinkles to add to it without a mention of sharing. The only time I would have said to share is if unexpectedly there was another little child there and no other treats were available.

It's a slice of cake. Anybody who's so attached to it that they couldn't possibly give it away is ridiculous.

she paid for it and was paying probably looking forward to trying it as it's been a hit on social media with local kids.
Grandad had a sweet treat for himself. Did he offer her his cake or is it just 12yo girls and 3yo boys who have to share with hiM?

@Pinkyyy I have seen you on enough threads to get an idea of your views. On this thread your attitude seems to stem from the idea that a 12 year old should be held up to the same standards as an adult (I.e working 5 days a week) but at the same time be subservient to adults (offering them first dibs on the food). Do you not see a dichotomy there? Pushing aside culture as an excuse. Do you honestly think it is acceptable for a child to be pulled out of school to work? Do you not see any benefits to continuing education past 12?

It's a slice of cake. Anybody who's so attached to it that they couldn't possibly give it away is ridiculous

I think you could turn that sentiment around though. Anybody who is so covetous of a 12 year old's small piece of cake, despite having perfectly delicious dessert of their own, that they get huffy over it is ridiculous.

@MediocreOmens I don't know what dichotomy means. It's nothing to do with age, I'd expect an adult to do exactly the same. I didn't think it's acceptable yes, but that's not what this thread is about.

Ah! She paid for it. That's lovely. Of course she should enjoy it herself and not share. Your fIL is being a bit of a numpty.

That said, when she was eating it I might have mentioned at the table that she'd bought it herself, and chatted about the craze for these cakes a bit, so people knew you hadn't bought it for her and not bought cake for everyone else. Don't think you did anything wrong not doing that though. The fault lies purely with fil

Is he always such a muppet? Or was this a one off?

But the fil didn't t share!

@CormacMcLaggen

I beg your very pardon Curleygirl, but if you read bak through the 20 million posts, you will see that in fact found a single jelly baby in my sweetie jar and then offered the 367 posters then online a 1/367th of it!

Well more guests arrived at the party so everyone should have offered to split their share. Twice as many guests means half as many each. Tbh I'd have had the kids sweeping the chimneys not having pudding. How very dare they. But I guess I just have good values

Damn that was meant to be to @SchadenfreudePersonified

In my defence I've had half a cheerio and a quarter thimble of milk this morning so I'm feeling ill as I'm so full, that's why I got confused

The child also brought a cake, which is a completely normal thing to do.The child should be allowed to eat that cake.

Agreed - but I would have encouraged my child to savour the cake and eat the fudge later.

Urgh. Bet he voted leave.
As if Emily Thornberry doesn't like cakes.

I'm seeing piggy FiL scoffing his raspberry torte while eyeing up DGD's glittery confection.
Perhaps next time heap coals of fire on his head by putting two cakes in front of him and one in front of everyone else. See if he demurs or offers to share and whether he still finds something to grumble at.

Let you DD in on the plan. Have people snap pictures of him ingesting cake. Hold onto pictures just for showing him if/when he dared call anyone else greedy or uses words like stuffing.

"Like you, you mean? Like this?"

My last post should day I do * think it's acceptable. Not didn't.

@SchadenfreudePersonified yes that's exactly what I'd have expected. It to be offered and declined. I don't think either person behaved correctly.

I think your comment is fair enough then pinkyy. But I'm sure that if this girl felt she could trust her GF not to scoff her treat she would have made a general offer to the room ("Would anyone like a taste?") secure that at most he would have taken a crumb.

Unfortunately for him, his own greed and bad manners have given him the reputation of being a pig, and it is now coming round to bite him.

I would bet that the toddler never offers him a taste of anything ever again, either.

I can see where you are coming from with the good manners thing, but it works both ways, and it is taught from "the top" so to speak.

Your grand-parents are good-mannered regarding eating other people's food, and they get culturally appropriate good manners regarding offering food in return. I'm sure if your children offered something and the GP ate nearly all of it, you might not say anything, but you would be slightly shocked at their greed.

This GF of the thread is a gannet, and can't even a allow a child a treat without spoiling things for them, and gets treated accordingly.

@Pinkyyy But why do you think it is acceptable? This is what I mean about using the tradition argument as a shield and people getting annoyed at your views. You have strong opinions which are frankly dangerous, but you do not justify them and then cry bully when people disagree.

I can say I don't think it's acceptable for children to leave education at 12. As well as being illegal, it is well known that at 12 years old children are still developing both physically and mentally meaning they should not have the stress of full time employment. Also continuing in education provides young people will a lot more opportunities later in life and also gives them a rounder world view. I have justified my opinion and people can then challenge that if they want to.

Well more guests arrived at the party so everyone should have offered to split their share.

Actually, that's an excellent point Curlygirl

In my defence I've had half a cheerio and a quarter thimble of milk this morning so I'm feeling ill as I'm so full, that's why I got confused

I'm not surprised you feel ill!

The only thing that surprises me is that you are above to stay awake after all of that! I expect it's just stomach pains that prevent you from "sleeping it off" as the vulgar saying goes!

@SchadenfreudePersonified thank you. I'm not sure how I've become the FIL support club, when I've never supported him, but I think you're right.

@Lulualla you're speaking from complete ignorance. Please leave me alone.

Oh yes. I've absolutely no idea about the benefits of education. Who needs it? Totally pointless. You're right. We should be pulling kids out of school and sending them into work, because they were all so much better off 100 years ago when that was the norm

If you're going to air your our of date opinions, whilst hiding behind the "it's my culture" BS then you need to grow a thicker skin.