Hello everyone, I am new to mumsnet but I have a dilemma I would like some opinions on as I really dont know what to do. Ok, so a good friend of mine has asked to borrow money from me to leave her husband. He is a raging alcoholic and verbally abusive. The problem is this: in the last two months this friend has booked an expensive trip to Kenya (she's going with friends), she's spent at least £1500 on fillers, hair extensions, nail extensions, and designer bags (i know this because she's told me). Now, I get it. I get that its her money and she can spend it on whatever she likes and she probably needs the self esteem boost because her H is so nasty. But then, why is she telling me she's poor and can't afford to leave her horrible h? and why is she asking me for money? Normally, I would never judge a friend's spending habits (my usual philosophy is: their money, their business) but this really gets my goat. I want to help her and I feel horribly guilty for saying no, but why doesn't she save some of this money if she's so desperate to leave him? My friend is a truly lovely person and I don't know what to do. AIBU for feeling conflicted about this? (btw- I'm not rich. I do have some savings but I also dont have a pension so any money I do save is going towards my retirement in the future and for my kids university fees etc)