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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To wonder how the fuck people have sex?

935 replies

HerRoyalFattyness · 05/10/2019 22:41

Earlier on this evening all 3 kids (10, 5 and 4) were engrossed in screens with headphones on. DP upstairs putting washing away.

So I go upstairs and initiate a quickie while the kids are distracted. Just as we get naked we hear "ummm... Mum, there's a problem"
"What?"
"DD has done a poo and it's everywhere... Even on the toilet seat. I think it's diarrhoea"
"Ok we'll sort it"

Mood completely killed, 5 year old was hosed down with the shower while DP cleaned up her mess in the downstairs loo.

It's now 20 to 11, kids all asleep. As is DP! So that's my plans ruined!

We've been together nearly 12 years now, how on earth are we meant to make intimacy a priority in our relationship with kids and exhaustion just trying to ruin it all?

OP posts:
Tippexy · 05/10/2019 23:49

@HerRoyalFattyness it’s not really about being amazing; if your ten year old has sleep terrors and insomnia then he really needs to be supported in having good sleep hygiene. Having a sensible bedtime is the first step to achieving that.

InsertFunnyUsername · 05/10/2019 23:49

This thread has made me appreciate my sex life though.

I'm picturing nice cups of coco and a good book on the cards for some posters tonight...

Rainonmyguitar · 05/10/2019 23:49

Actually no, I’m not on a windup. In this house, a 10 year old’s bedtime is 7:30 and 11 is 8pm

Do you not like spending time with your children?

Original poster
HerRoyalFattyness · 05/10/2019 23:49

SherbetSaucer I was 16 when I got pregnant with DS1 (17 when I had him, he's almost 11) I honestly didn't think this far ahead Grin

OP posts:
YDraig · 05/10/2019 23:49

I’m a single mum so don’t have this issue, but I really don’t see the problem as long as the door is locked/otherwise obstructed! Grin

You poor sod Wink 😂😂

tangled2 · 05/10/2019 23:50

Sorry OP, if you want to have sex (filth) you and your other half should both be SAHPs, it's just selfish otherwise. You neglectful trollop.

MamaDane · 05/10/2019 23:50

As a mum of 6 weeks old twins I also don't see how people find the time/energy to do it 🤪
Also don't see an issue with people having sex while the kids are awake. The pearl clutching in here makes me laugh.

Gojojogogogo · 05/10/2019 23:50

What a load of miserable cunts on here.
Think they could all do with a quickie to straighten their faces out

sparkli · 05/10/2019 23:51

Just wait until they're all teenagers and know exactly what you're up to. Teenagers are the best contraceptive ever.

GirlOnIt · 05/10/2019 23:51

I’m confused. How is it grim?
Surely if it’s grim, it’s just as grim having sex when they’re in the bedroom next to you or they’re upstairs in bed and you’re down stairs getting it on. I mean you can’t guarantee they’ll stay fast asleep all night can you? Kids wake up, not feeling well, needing the loo, hearing a funny noise from mum and dads room.
Or have I got a defective one?

Moral of the thread.......have kids, never have sex again. Least I don’t feel I’m missing out so much being single.

TiddyTid · 05/10/2019 23:51

Oh OP. 😂. Maybe tomorrow eh? Bloody kids

Original poster
HerRoyalFattyness · 05/10/2019 23:51

Tippexy he doesn't have insomnia. He has night terrors and sleepwalks.
Sleep hygiene is what works for each individual child, and seeing as his GP thinks it's perfectly fine I think we'll stay as we are thanks.

OP posts:
butterandbread · 05/10/2019 23:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eeksville · 05/10/2019 23:52

Actually no, I’m not on a windup. In this house, a 10 year old’s bedtime is 7:30 and 11 is 8pm.

Does your 10yo not do any after school activities?

Greysparkles · 05/10/2019 23:52

Percy was approaching the tunnel and he couldn’t stop in time!

I'm sorry, but this bloody cracked me up!

Rubyuber · 05/10/2019 23:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
HerRoyalFattyness · 05/10/2019 23:52

butterandbread
Why thank you. And I did it without trying to. ConfusedGrin

OP posts:
HairyFloppins · 05/10/2019 23:53

Jesus Christ this post!

Wait till they are teenagers OP, then they are there all the time!! They stay up later than me now,

You just have to get inventive!

Fortunately I live with a shift worker who is about in the day time a lot.

WorraLiberty · 05/10/2019 23:53

Actually no, I’m not on a windup. In this house, a 10 year old’s bedtime is 7:30 and 11 is 8pm.

The 'a' part was very telling there...

Original poster
HerRoyalFattyness · 05/10/2019 23:53

Rubyuber who needs a book when I have this thread. It's the gift that keeps giving Grin

OP posts:
Tippexy · 05/10/2019 23:53

“He has never been a good sleeper”

Fizzypoo · 05/10/2019 23:54

In the kitchen whilst the chicken nuggets are cooking against the door is a worth a shot, they can't barge in if you're against the door Wink

InsertFunnyUsername · 05/10/2019 23:54

For the OP

No, you.

Mumofboth · 05/10/2019 23:55

I get you OP. After 15 years we have to work around the brats and it’s a bloody nightmare. I’m hoping we’ll have a good sex life again when they move out. Then we’ll both be awake long enough and have enough energy to actually enjoy it. One day......

Original poster
HerRoyalFattyness · 05/10/2019 23:56

“He has never been a good sleeper” does not = he has insomnia. It means the darned kid has always needed less sleep than I would like.
Once he's asleep, as long as no incidents, he is asleep. And even with the terrors and sleepwalking, he sleeps through them!

It's just that he doesn't sleep for long. He never did.

OP posts:
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