To wonder how the fuck people have sex?

[HerRoyalFattyness]

Earlier on this evening all 3 kids (10, 5 and 4) were engrossed in screens with headphones on. DP upstairs putting washing away.

So I go upstairs and initiate a quickie while the kids are distracted. Just as we get naked we hear "ummm... Mum, there's a problem"
"What?"
"DD has done a poo and it's everywhere... Even on the toilet seat. I think it's diarrhoea"
"Ok we'll sort it"

Mood completely killed, 5 year old was hosed down with the shower while DP cleaned up her mess in the downstairs loo.

It's now 20 to 11, kids all asleep. As is DP! So that's my plans ruined!

We've been together nearly 12 years now, how on earth are we meant to make intimacy a priority in our relationship with kids and exhaustion just trying to ruin it all?

Nope don't have time.. Unless it's a 2/3am job or in the early am and DC wakes at 7am.

Im also pregnant, if I don't fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow then DH does. I gotta admit it is a tad depressing I'm missing out cause he doesn't come to bed until 2am.

wait till they have all left home
I'll have cobwebs by then!

@HotSince82 😘

JeffreyJefferson

Maybe nobody wants to have a quickie with her?

Let them play on the consoles with loads of snacks around, and get it done before the arguments start.

I'm laughing at all the replies saying its grim. WTF??? It's not like it's being done in front of them!

Actually no, I’m not on a windup. In this house, a 10 year old’s bedtime is 7:30 and 11 is 8pm.

@HotSince82 think you got that right !!

tippexy good for your house. In this house my 10 year olds bedtime is 9pm and he can read for an hour if he wants.
Isn't it amazing that parents all have different ways of raising their kids?

Maybe you should be a bit more present for your young children and not focus on your need for a quickie hmm priorities.

Twat.

Well all I can say is I admire those who can get into a session while they can hear “To infinity and beyond!” from downstairs. When mine were little it would have been “Percy was approaching the tunnel and he couldn’t stop in time!”. It’s just not sexy!

I would make the most of it now if I were you though as when they’re teenagers you seriously get very little sex. A) they stay up later than you. B). They know EXACTLY what any noises mean and can’t be fobbed off C) you’re far too knackered to set the alarm early to do it before they’re awake. It’s so much better when they’re younger.....

I'll have cobwebs by then!
Well yes but you won't be grim. This is more important.

I'm agreeing with the other pp's about the kids late bedtime and the pathetically early bedtime of your dh.

Sex before the kids are asleep is highly unlikely for anyone surely, it can sometimes be an early weekend activity if you're lucky or locked bathroom if you're desperate.
My favourite is waking dp up if I've woken and can't get back to sleep.
But yes yabu to wonder how people have sex when they have kids because normally people make the effort to go to bed together... after kids are asleep. I just thought that was obvious.

I'm taking a guess that the posters horrified at day time sex only have it in the missionary position

Oh come on, nobody is saying you should neglect your kids to have a bit jiggy time but to only have sex with your partner at night time in bed? never feeling 'frisky' during the day and taking the opportunity? And disgust at those who do have sex whilst their children 'shock horror' are awake but are otherwise occupied? wow - I'm obviously a sex fiend

@Rubyuber

Me and my kids spend plenty of time together

With 12 hours out the house a day and being preoccupied with having a shag? Not sure about that my love!

A two minute quickie does not equate to being "preoccupied with having a shag"

Keeping the spark alive in a marriage is a sign of a fun and healthy relationship. I feel sorry for a lot of the men/women in this thread.

Anyone else feel really sorry for some of the husbands of the posters on this thread? Joyless bastards

Yeah and the poor kids. 10 year olds banished to their beds at 7.30. Must be some truly miserable families of posters on here.

If you wanted to shag during the day, then you should have stayed childfree to be honest!

Ridiculous @formerbabe What is wrong with you?

There is also nothing wrong with having a quickie when the children are otherwise safe and occupied. There is nothing wrong with having a moan about not getting as much sex as you would like.

Are Mumsnet posters as horrible in real life as they are on here?
Gransnet is a much pleasanter place.

To be fair though I couldn’t have sex during the day. My kids follow me everywhere! Even if they are engaged with watching tv or a toy or whatever. As soon as I leave the room they fall into line behind me. I thought everyone’s kids did that?

@JeffreyJefferson

She probably needs a quickie.

We should all just ignore the batshit posts, they feed off the attention.

This is one of the reasons DH and I chose not to have kids! We can have sex anytime and anywhere without disturbances!

Gransnet is a much pleasanter place.

They're probably getting more sex

Actually no, I’m not on a windup. In this house, a 10 year old’s bedtime is 7:30 and 11 is 8pm.

Is your 11yo at secondary school? I’m assuming very early starts for a long journey to school? I don’t know of a single 11 year old who goes to bed at 8pm! I’m glad it works for you, it wouldn’t work for any of the families I know.

Arizona, I know, I could never even have a poo in peace, the thought of a shag would have been out of the question.