To wonder how the fuck people have sex?

[HerRoyalFattyness]

Earlier on this evening all 3 kids (10, 5 and 4) were engrossed in screens with headphones on. DP upstairs putting washing away.

So I go upstairs and initiate a quickie while the kids are distracted. Just as we get naked we hear "ummm... Mum, there's a problem"
"What?"
"DD has done a poo and it's everywhere... Even on the toilet seat. I think it's diarrhoea"
"Ok we'll sort it"

Mood completely killed, 5 year old was hosed down with the shower while DP cleaned up her mess in the downstairs loo.

It's now 20 to 11, kids all asleep. As is DP! So that's my plans ruined!

We've been together nearly 12 years now, how on earth are we meant to make intimacy a priority in our relationship with kids and exhaustion just trying to ruin it all?

Sorry you and DP missed out Op. One thing I learned post DCs - take your chances when and where you can get them 😀
Ignore all the miseries.

Can't believe the amount of guilt tripping on this thread because the OP has a job and cannot spend her whole life giving all her attention to her DC.
Yes it's nice if a job fits in with family life, but kids need to be housed and fed too!

I have a child who requires less sleep than other children. Been the same since she was a baby. Not all humans are built the same way.
Also teenagers are not conducive to an easy love life either - this problem doesn't go away!

OP, am gobsmacked at some of these posts! Hurrah that you and DP still fancy each other. May the stars align for you some time in the very near future!

The bit about the OP having a 'young vagina' is the most grim part of the thread

Though I'm not sure all the praise for 'keeping the spark alive' is deserved by the husband who would rather go to bed at 9 than wake stay up for a shag later.

Actually no, I’m not on a windup. In this house, a 10 year old’s bedtime is 7:30 and 11 is 8pm.
Well dd1 and many other 10yos go to guides and that doesn't finish until 9pm! I imagine your 7.30pm bedtime is unusual (it is with my friends). Even church youth group goes on until 9pm

So you never get the urge at any point when they are distracted during the day / weekend to have sex?
Yes , but I don’t act on it. Only on the rare occasions dh is off work while dc are at school/Nursery.

I prioritise them when they’re awake and not myself
Full of yourself much there dear?
Wanting a quickie does not mean I don't prioritise my children. They were happy and occupied

But fortunately for my kids, I do all that when they’re asleep! You know, because I prioritise them when they’re awake and not myself.

Let’s hope you don’t heap on unhealthy dollops of your sanctimonious ways during that time.

We have 7 and we still manage to find time!

You have to take the chance when you get it, and yes we’ve done it when the kids are awake but as long as they’re not at risk of walking in and you’re not being loud and swinging from the chandeliers then I dont see the problem!

But yes we have sex most nights, every other night at the very least!

Rightiooooooooo

Oh hun! I’m younger than the OP, I’ve got a very healthy sex life with my fiancé. But fortunately for my kids, I do all that when they’re asleep! You know, because I prioritise them when they’re awake and not myself.

I feel sorry for your kids, growing up with a sanctimonious, judgemental mother will be hard but hey at least you prioritised them!

Your kids are not to blame ffs

@WorraLiberty OP, could the shit have been a deliberate dirty protest at your feckless parenting?”

@WTFisThisNow grab life by the bollocks isn’t not being able to do that the problem?

@Daisyandmay what an amazingly stupid and nasty comment.

Rubyuber - you are either an utter cunt or a troll ?

Tweetingmagpie yay for you getting sex with all those kids!
Why don't they try to sabotage you? Is it just my kids that do this? Evil little sods.

I actually can’t believe what’s gone on with this thread! I posted way back on page 1, popped back on (after a nice shag with DH ...teenager awake next door) and have been reading the torrent of ridiculousness since.

@Rubyuber you are positively insulting, insinuating that a house without two parents present for a certain amount of time is unhealthy. What planet are you on?

Well, the general consensus seems to be that YABU. Not for wondering how others have time for sex but for forgetting to put LIGHT-HEARTED in flashing neon lights, fordaring to work, for allowing your almost secondary school aged child to stay up past dinnertime, for not jumping with joy at the privilege of cleaning up diarrhea, for daring to have children in the first place, for daring to have a life outside of your children, for even considering sex in the first place...

I prioritise them when they’re awake and not myself

Oh hun, that's tragic.

Your kids are not to blame

Wowsers. Really? Fuck me not literally obviously, that doesn't happen in this house!
Who woulda think it eh? My 5 year old didn't get ill on purpose. Thai is breaking news.

Oh Hun!

Some proper wierdos on this thread

But fortunately for my kids, I do all that when they’re asleep! You know, because I prioritise them when they’re awake and not myself.

Lucky them, getting to spend all that time with wonderful you.

@Rubyuber if you spend every waking second with your dc that's called helicopter parenting and those dc tend to lack independence. Yes I have a 30mins ish romp with dh some Sunday mornings while dc happily entertain themselves... should I really insist I am involved in their activities every second of the day? Don't answer that because I think we will differ in our opinions.

Luckily school results and behaviour give me evidence I'm doing something right.

Anyway, off to have lovely sex with dh...

Oh hun, I cringed even typing It sarcastically.