To wonder how the fuck people have sex?

[HerRoyalFattyness]

Earlier on this evening all 3 kids (10, 5 and 4) were engrossed in screens with headphones on. DP upstairs putting washing away.

So I go upstairs and initiate a quickie while the kids are distracted. Just as we get naked we hear "ummm... Mum, there's a problem"
"What?"
"DD has done a poo and it's everywhere... Even on the toilet seat. I think it's diarrhoea"
"Ok we'll sort it"

Mood completely killed, 5 year old was hosed down with the shower while DP cleaned up her mess in the downstairs loo.

It's now 20 to 11, kids all asleep. As is DP! So that's my plans ruined!

We've been together nearly 12 years now, how on earth are we meant to make intimacy a priority in our relationship with kids and exhaustion just trying to ruin it all?

God MN you need to sort these threads out, they are just getting worse with the invective from the vipers.

OP I think there may be a bit of jealousy on this thread because you and your husband still actually have sex after 3 children, which is err, healthy. The stepford notion that your sexy drive just evaporates after children just isn’t true for many women. Some of us still like to dtd, shock horror!

And if you DO all orgasm from a quickie each time, lucky you!!

Baggy tracksuit bottoms are the answer up and down in no time. Its our secret signal when we both wear them.

Haha well my great grandma conceived 13 children in a 2 bedroom house with kids everywhere so people have always managed to have a sex life post DC if they wanted too...

Good morning
Guess where I've been
Wanna know what my kids were up to? Building a train track. I wasn't even nice enough to give them headphones this time

Yay! Well done for making up for yesterday OP! Bet you and OH have smiles on your face? Unlike some here

Trying to have sex with 3 dc and trying to be funny on mn op? You have huge ambitions

Yep. I forsee today being a good day. We started it off right.

@Lex234
I don't think women are expected to not want sex, it's the opposite among people I know.
I'm the odd one out because I don't want sex. I read this with a slight pang of envy that I'm missing out. Not enough to want to do anything about it though.

My friends and their friends don't have sex anymore. One friend sleeps in a different room. Apparently happens a lot with couples. That's how affairs start. A guy has no backbone if he isn't getting sex and girls get bored. So find a way and do it often

Baggy tracksuit bottoms are the answer up and down in no time. Its our secret signal when we both wear them.

Oh my god, I’m howling 🤣🤣🤣🤣🙃

“Get yer baggy joggies on its your lucky day”

My god there's some miserable prudes on this thread! I actually laughed at the OPs post and found it quite amusing.

Bet Saturday nights a right laugh in some of the other posters houses

Wanna know what my kids were up to? Building a train track. I wasn't even nice enough to give them headphones this time

You sent them to play on a train track??

Still at least they were out of the house I suppose...

Clutches anal beads pearls

Good job OP - bloody prudish weirdos on this thread!

Can someone answer my question? Do those who love regular quickies have an orgasm each time?

(Genuine question, I’m not a perve )

We sometimes have a morning quickie while ds is downstairs.He doesn't know about it,we wouldnt do it if there was a chance he would.Op you are definitely not weird!

It’s gets harder with teenagers. Especially on holiday in a caravan. We had to send them far away and hope they didn’t forget anything. While the toddler was asleep and lock the door. Bloody logistical nightmare.
What’s grim about having sex while the children are awake? You’re not making them watch!

@CurlyhairedAssassin We tend to do a mad dash to my flat at lunch time, and yes, it’s no good if only one of us gets a scratch itched.

Its no wonder the divorce rate is so high if the expectation that you entirely give up your sex life when your first baby is born!

It does give me somewhat of an explanation as to why some couples i know with kids a similar age to ours are so fucking miserable though.

Ps. Congratulations op

Anyone else think the OP should change her NN?

FattyGotFucked

Well done fatty
Hmmm, we once did it in the bathroom of a premier inn whilst the kids were asleep.
All good, no one knew, until I text him the day after saying thanks for the... well you get the jist.
Fine you think, until I then gave dd the phone to text dh without thinking, and she read the text!
Didn't speak to me for a week

Erm... Wow.

@HerRoyalFattyness I am surprised you've tried to explain yourself this much to these miserable buggars!

I don't have any suggestions but I wish you the best of luck! I only have 1 DC but my OH works at a restaurant and doesn't get home until 12-2am... Hmmm, maybe we should be trying for a quicky during the day actually whilst DD watches the telly 🤣

worra

I reckon there’s a lot of MNers on here with dry vagina’s who are just jealous that the OP is getting any. It’s definitely not grim to have a quickie with the kids in the house @HerRoyalFattyness don’t listen to those prudish misery guts.

I celebrated this thread by having a cheeky morning shag whilst my 11 y/o daughter was downstairs watching YouTube!😱 (2 teen sons both still asleep so they remain unscathed)