To wonder how the fuck people have sex?

[HerRoyalFattyness]

Earlier on this evening all 3 kids (10, 5 and 4) were engrossed in screens with headphones on. DP upstairs putting washing away.

So I go upstairs and initiate a quickie while the kids are distracted. Just as we get naked we hear "ummm... Mum, there's a problem"
"What?"
"DD has done a poo and it's everywhere... Even on the toilet seat. I think it's diarrhoea"
"Ok we'll sort it"

Mood completely killed, 5 year old was hosed down with the shower while DP cleaned up her mess in the downstairs loo.

It's now 20 to 11, kids all asleep. As is DP! So that's my plans ruined!

We've been together nearly 12 years now, how on earth are we meant to make intimacy a priority in our relationship with kids and exhaustion just trying to ruin it all?

nutjobby for me they are awake during the day I just seems different If they are in bed asleep. Yes there is a chance they may still come in but everyone in their own rooms not downstairs wanting drinks fighting’s with each other etc awake during the day.

All sex should be at night, in bed and presumably with the lights off?

@HerRoyalFattyness I hear you. They bring cockblocking to a higher level. Whatever hour of the day.
Stealth and speed I think 😂😂

This thread all went a bit mad. Am a little disturbed by the notion that there's anything wrong or sinister with having sex with your own husband in your own house while there's kids occupied elsewhere and safely in the house. Madness

Not at all when I said everyone in their own rooms I was referring to the kids not us. I just can’t imagine anything to ruin a mood more than my three kids making noise and chatting away or singing along to nursery rhymes while I get my end away upstairs .

Not at all when I said evreferring to the kids not us. I just can’t imagine anything to ruin a mood more than my three kids making noise and chatting away or singing along to nursery rhymes while I get my end away upstairs Not at all when I said everyone in their own rooms I was refOPs kids were engrossed in screens with headphones on? Not chatting away? kids not us. I just can’t imagine anything to ruin a mood more than my three kids making noise and chatting away or singing along to nursery rhymes while I get my end away upstairs .

'You’re not 25 anymore'

'indeed I'm not. I'm 28.'

This made me chortle

You are clearly such a Harlet Op ....and have made many a MN bosom hoik this evening

My post below went very weird! I meant to say that OPs we're engrossed in screens not chatting away!

Maybe the OP is happy to have three kids plugged into tablets but many don’t allow kids as young as 4 or 5 to have access to tablets unsupervised.

I should add I’ve assumed it was a tablet could be portable DVD player I guess.

*You got naked when the kids were downstairs?! That’s a no no imo.

Go and wake him m up if you’re that desperat*e

This really does read like the OP is somehow wrong to have a sex drive!
*
Organise them a sleep over at friends
Yeah lumber your kids on someone else so you can have a shag! That’s a long term solution eh!*

So if they're going to the cinema it's ok? Meal out ok? If the kids are being looked after elsewhere then they're free to do as they please.

Come on have you really never planned an overnight for the kids and think "we will go for a meal" changed your mind, got wine, pizza and an early night?

Maybe some people don't allow tablets or whatever, but OP does! Not sure the relevance of a tablet or divd? That's not what this post is about?

You can do Sunday mornings when your youngest hits 12, until then forget it!

We have 2 teens who fall asleep after us so we have to wait until we both have a day off work. On holiday when the kids take them self off for a while. It’s very very rare

Who set the fun police on this thread?

Can you get back to sleep easily you wake up for a bit, OP? If so I'd say have DH wake you up when he wakes up, then go back to sleep afterwards.

I can't believe how much bizarre criticism and overanalyses of every little thing you are saying on this thread OP. You were clearly just having a light hearted moan, and what's wrong with that?

How very dare you fancy a bit of sex
So ridiculous.
People acting like you were going to perform a live sex show in front of your children who you haven't allowed to sleep for 3 days straight.

This thread is hilarious!!! I had no idea it was 'grim' to have sex while your kids are awake. What about the people who have kids who are terrible sleepers? Do they just become celibate? For YEARS?!!

And telling the OP that she should have a job that fits around family life, EVEN AFTER SHE SAID HER DP IS A SAHD.... that is crazy. Can you imagine a man working 4 (long) days a week with a wife who stays home being told the same? Outrageous.

My DC3 was conceived with DC1 in the SAME ROOM, as we had visitors and were sharing a room while TTC. We were not in the same bed, and she was definitely asleep. Maybe I'm a terrible, grim, neglectful parent?! We also had sex with DC2 in the room quite a bit, as he was in our room til he turned 1.

I just thought this was normal??? As they get older I imagine it will be more quickies while they're distracted. If I have the energy at all.

There are a LOT of people on here who might benefit from a good shag, judging by how uptight their comments are!

(And for the record - my kids have very early bedtimes, follow what many would consider a 'strict' routine, and have extremely limited screen time... so the sticks many of you have used to beat the OP with can't really be used on me. Shockingly, it seems shit, sex-obsessed parents come in lots of variations!!)

OP - good luck with future efforts! I wouldn't bother setting an early alarm, just try to sneak a quickie in when you can. Get very quick at it!

If a couple can't grab the opportunity for a quickie when the kids are awake and otherwise distracted then it's no bloody wonder lots of relationships end up fucked.

There's nothing grim about it.

Well this was a jolly old read this morning

No advice though sorry OP. At least we are all learning not to be disgusting harlets hay! Might be too late for me though

We have 2 teens who fall asleep after us so we have to wait until we both have a day off work. On holiday when the kids take them self off for a while. It’s very very rare

Is this a joke?

I wasn't expecting this thread to turn out like this

Research says 5.28am is the time of day that yields the best sex!

Well my eyes are truly opened that so many people think it's grim to have sex when a child might be awake!!!!

Wtf ?

It's clear it was a different room etc.
What a load of pearl clutching nonsense

Haha, you can certainly tell the difference between the sexually repressed and the not in this thread.

Make your quickies quicker?
Dont get naked?

Man there are a lot of people here who are suffering from a lack of sex, it’s a major cause of people losing their sense of humour.

A few months ago I was having sex with a FWB (who my then three year old knows as uncle O), I hadn’t seen him for about three weeks so I was (quietly) going for it and all of a sudden FWB stops moving and has a funny look on his face, I follow his gaze and there’s my son stood about four feet away who then announces “daddy I need a poo”, I have no idea how long he had been stood there. It may have been daylight but it was about 4am, an acceptable MN time to be having sex!!

I like how poo ruined it for both of us!

Yes , but I don’t act on it. Only on the rare occasions dh is off work while dc are at school/Nursery.

So it's ok for your husband to go in another room and have a wank then? It's the same thing though. And please don't tell me this doesn't happen because believe me it does especially if your rarely have sex!