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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To wonder how the fuck people have sex?

935 replies

HerRoyalFattyness · 05/10/2019 22:41

Earlier on this evening all 3 kids (10, 5 and 4) were engrossed in screens with headphones on. DP upstairs putting washing away.

So I go upstairs and initiate a quickie while the kids are distracted. Just as we get naked we hear "ummm... Mum, there's a problem"
"What?"
"DD has done a poo and it's everywhere... Even on the toilet seat. I think it's diarrhoea"
"Ok we'll sort it"

Mood completely killed, 5 year old was hosed down with the shower while DP cleaned up her mess in the downstairs loo.

It's now 20 to 11, kids all asleep. As is DP! So that's my plans ruined!

We've been together nearly 12 years now, how on earth are we meant to make intimacy a priority in our relationship with kids and exhaustion just trying to ruin it all?

OP posts:
Original poster
HerRoyalFattyness · 06/10/2019 00:24

wonderwooman thank you Grin I shall give it my best shot!

OP posts:
Rainonmyguitar · 06/10/2019 00:24

I think a lot of these comments are from idiots who are bored on a Saturday night and couldn't wait to spew their shit at someone. That or they simply do not understand what it is like to want sex

I think it's triggered the ones who are not having any sex, It's got to be. Why are they so outraged at OP😂?

Rubyuber · 06/10/2019 00:24

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Original poster
HerRoyalFattyness · 06/10/2019 00:25

HotSince82 thank you. I've had a lot of counselling to come to terms with it, but I'm ok now.

I actually really really want a puppy...
A rottweiler. They're so adorable.

OP posts:
onthebusoctopus · 06/10/2019 00:25

Bloody hell what has mumsnet come to? Has everyone lost their sense of humour

Original poster
HerRoyalFattyness · 06/10/2019 00:26

rain but surely if they aren't getting any and I'm not getting any they should feel some form of solidarity? Grin

OP posts:
ElizaPancakes · 06/10/2019 00:26

If I come up to bed after my husband, he’ll wake up and immediately wants sex. I honestly don’t know how he does it.

I mean, we don’t always (obvs) but still....how does he go from asleep and snoring like a saw mill to literally ready to shag?!

So - maybe ask him if he’d respond positively to a nudge? Grin (I wouldn’t. I a spectacularly bad tempered when woken. DH not so much!)

BanKittenHeels · 06/10/2019 00:26

the grimmest part of the thread was imo the few women saying they regularly had sex while their babies were awake in a cot next to the bed. Vile.

Quite how you think our species got this far without doing that (or similar), is beyond me.

eeksville · 06/10/2019 00:26

@Rubyuber so the issue isn't leaving your kids alone to have sex but doing it while they are awake? I spend a lot longer on the toilet or in the bath then I do having sex. So how do you ensure they are actually asleep when you do it at nighttime, do you keep stopping to check?

InsertFunnyUsername · 06/10/2019 00:26

HerRoyal I have a rottweiler OP. Brilliant dogs. Also good for guarding the children so me and DP can have wild sex Grin

Rainonmyguitar · 06/10/2019 00:27

I never said you had to constantly be with your kids grin having a shag is a bit different to all those things you listed isn’t it? As many posts before mine also said!

Rubyuber It's becoming very clear that you've never had the pleasure of a quickie in your life, have you?

Original poster
HerRoyalFattyness · 06/10/2019 00:28

ElizaPancakes oh god no, I'm not waking him. He'll be a miserable bugger if I do. He likes his sleep.

OP posts:
Rubyuber · 06/10/2019 00:28

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Original poster
HerRoyalFattyness · 06/10/2019 00:29

InsertFunnyUsername I had two when I was growing up. They were amazing, and it looked pretty awesome taking them both for a walk!

OP posts:
butterandbread · 06/10/2019 00:29

It just keeps getting better 😂

Not one person is able to prioritise their children 100% of the time they’re awake. So if she wasn’t ‘prioritising’ herself over them for sex, OP might’ve needed to speak to a family member on the phone, repaint a chipped nail, make a quick cup of coffee, but would all these be okay because they (presumably) don’t involve a penis?

BanKittenHeels · 06/10/2019 00:29

Grr grrrrr grumpppphhhh grrrrr arrrrrffhhhh grrr uuuugghj grrr

Which translates from caveman to modern day English as:

“Steve, stick the baby outside the cave so you can ride me raw”

TottieandMarchpane · 06/10/2019 00:29

butterymuffin the grimmest part of the thread was imo the few women saying they regularly had sex while their babies were awake in a cot next to the bed. Vile.

How would you have managed if you’d been born 200 years ago?

Rainonmyguitar · 06/10/2019 00:30

rain but surely if they aren't getting any and I'm not getting any they should feel some form of solidarity?

No, because you have the urge to have sex...they don't. They're raging.

Original poster
HerRoyalFattyness · 06/10/2019 00:30

Steve, stick the baby outside the cave so you can ride me raw”

This has me properly laughing.

OP posts:
eeksville · 06/10/2019 00:30

@Rubyuber had her kids out of wedlock 🤭.

wonderwooman · 06/10/2019 00:31

😂 @BanKittenHeels

TottieandMarchpane · 06/10/2019 00:31

Yes, but she clutched her pearls throughout, so it’s okay.

Original poster
HerRoyalFattyness · 06/10/2019 00:32

Oh, so it's the urges.
Well it helps if you fancy your DP, and if you can still have a bit of spontaneity to keep things running nicely. Then the urges don't disappear.
If you don't use it, you lose it guys and gals. Grin

OP posts:
JustLooking2019 · 06/10/2019 00:32

I found it easier to have sex when the kids were younger. Now they are teens they are always around and stay up later than we do! I’m also terrified of them hearing us as I heard my mum having sex when I was a teen and rather than just finding it embarrassing I was quite disturbed by it. My own issues I know but I’d hate to do that to my children!

butterandbread · 06/10/2019 00:33

raspberryk
As I’m one of those women, who also really cannot understand why it’s remotely grim or strange to do so, please can you explain why you think it is? Becacuse it baffles me. How exactly is my baby going to have the slightest clue what I’m doing? Have you shared a room with a baby, did you just not have sex for that whole period of time?