Lost child, what would you have done?

[Totaldogsbody]

Ok so today I was out shopping in a mall near Glasgow. I saw a small boy running out of Primark he was around 3 yo no one with him. I looked around to see if he was with anyone but no one was paying attention to him I kept my eyes on him and he ran into a couple of shops and out again. I grabbed his hand, bent down and asked if he was lost, he went to run up the escalator so I grabbed him and sat down on the ground with him. He was in no way worried but he was obviously trying to get away from me arching his back and trying to get me to let go. Another woman and daughter approached me and asked if they could help I explained the situation and the daughter went to find a security guard which I was so thankful for. They thought that there was a woman in Primark looking for their child but there was no way I was able to take the child back over to the shop. The daughter came back and said the security guard was coming and she kindly went to Primark for the woman who was looking for her child.
All this took around 5 minutes but a group of people were forming around us, one man asked the boy if he was ok and I told him what happened, which was fine, eventually the woman came and got her son. All was well.

But here's the thing, I felt so guilty everyone was looking at me and the child and I'm sure it probably looked as if I was trying to abduct him, I actually felt a little threatened at the end of it and had to go for a cup of tea to help me calm down, maybe that's a little bit paranoid but I really was very nervous. The child's safety was paramount in my consideration, but I'm left thinking that we live in a society now where people may refuse to help a child in need because they are unsure of their own safety. My dh thinks its easier for a woman to help in these situations than a man because women are generally looked upon to be less threatening to a child. He isn't sure if he would've helped because he says he would probably have been arrested as it was obvious the child was trying to escape from me.

Oh gosh, I've just read the story mentioned by a pp of the 2 year old who drowned after escaping her nursery and the man who just drove on and left her wandering a road on her own because he didn't want to be accused of abduction. I think that is absolutely despicable he cared more about being wrongly accused than saving this poor toddlers life. A 2 year old is obviously at risk of death on a road.

You followed standard protocol and shouldn’t feel bad. My DC once got distracted and didn’t get off the tube in time. Some businessmen gestured to us to go to the next station and meet them there and took care off DC until we were reunited. It did not once occur to me that they were anything other than an incredibly kind person doing me a good turn and protecting my child, for which I was very grateful!

Found the story, how sad: www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1513828/Parents-still-waiting-for-justice-as-pond-death-nursery-is-found-guilty-of-neglect.html

You’re in a bit of shock which is why your mind is racing. You did everything right, everyone is ok. Your mind just needs to process everything and it will calm down.

OP whether Argyle or Sauchiehall st branch that area of g'gow is always heaving and both so easily close to underground had he wandered further, and the roads even though quite pedestrianised still busy with traffic so absolutely you did good!

You've reminded me of something I did a few years ago. I was going out to the car and an elderly man approached me who told me that me was lost. He told me that he had walked into the city centre and was looking for a bus home. He said he knew my area as a young man, but had got confused because of the redevelopment. He told me where he lived, and I told him to hop in the car and I would give him a lift (it was around two miles away from me). He reminded me of my granded, and I had no doubts in my mind that he was coherent, so I took him to the address he gave me. He tried to give me £1 for his bus fare. He did go towards a door, but I can't remember now whether he went into a house or not.

A while ago a colleague was demonstrating aids that they were trialing for people with dementia etc, and one of them was an alarm to put in the persons coat to alert someone if the they wandered off. It only occured to me then that perhaps I wasn't been kind to this man, and might have left him abandoned. I think about him now and again and I hope I did the right thing.

I once found a child in the local newsagent on a trike. The owner said he often cycled there with his mum, it was a busy road with no pavement. Luckily the newsagent knew his address so I put him and his trike in the car and drove him home. The front gate was broken aha I thought. I knocked on the door a woman came I explained what had happened, she let forth a stream of swear words at him, grabbed and hit him, threw him in the house then shut the door in my face.

I would still do it again.

You obviously did the right thing, it's surprising how many people don't. My DD, 3 at the time ran out of a shop on to a busy very busy high street and not one person intervened. She had been gone a good 5 minutes, I found her wandering a down the street, Id left her with my sister whilst i looked at something in the shop, but my sister thought DD had followed me, it's easily done (although I almost killed my sister) but it's the most absolutely awful feeling, it was like my heart stopped and the world slipped from under my feet, I've never been so scared in my whole life.
I would have been very grateful to have someone like you take the time to ensure she was safe. I was honestly shocked no one has stopped to check she was ok, I know I would have, I do think people are too scared to stop and check these days but I wouldn't let potentially been accused put me off, I'd rather be accused than the child end up in the hands of someone not so kind, or end up in a accident.

I don't get why people stopped and watched though if I saw a woman sat on the floor with a kicking off toddler if just assume he was having a tantrum and move on! Edited by MNHQ

@zen1 my autistic 4 year old ran out of asda superstore too. Was found in the street by a lovely couple. Was about to call the police when they brought her in. Thank God they brought her to the asda and not one of the other stores on the retail park

Dh found a kid who had wandered out their hotel bedroom once and was sat on the stairs crying. He left her and came and got me as i was only on the next floor down. I went and got the kid and took her down to the dining room where her parents were eating. Dh said no way would he have taken her down with him because he’d have been terrified someone might have thought he was abducting her out the hotel.

I was in asda this afternoon found a little boy about 2/3 wandering around on his own. I went straight over and asked if he had lost his mammy and he nodded. I reassured him that it was ok and that we would find her and took him by the hand. Asked what his mammy’s name was and he looked me dead in the face and said “mammy”
Walked down the centre aisle looking for a frantic lady and couldn’t see anyone so took him to customer services beside the entrance. He tried to bolt for the doors so I automatically picked him. Never crossed my mind what people would think.
Luckily his ‘mammy’ showed up a few minutes later. Bless her I bet she’s having a stiff gin tonight.

Does nobody use reins for children any more?

@zen1 she has also wandered off several times in Ikea...code 99. She does like to explore. She is better now at 8

Does nobody use reins for children any more?
Good point, I used them on mine (Early 80s).

You did the right thing.

Something similar happened to me and I felt really confused afterwards as well. Kids were really distressed, but when the mother turned up she initially freaked out that a stranger was with her kids.

I used those back pack reins sometimes but ds wasn't really a bolter in shops. It was more for walking beside busy roads.

I have been in this position and held the kids hand ( not quite twisting like a serpent but certainly wriggling) ) and asked loudly for somebody to get security or if they'd lost their kid. Later I had a mini panic attack and wondered what other people were thinking etc. Just as you did OP, but in the moment you just do your best. The worst thing would be to let a kid run off and get hurt because your cringing too hard to help. I have had to thank a couple of strangers on another occasion when they stopped my sprinting toddler, so I've been on both sides and honestly I was just grateful he hadn't got to the road

It's really great reading all these replies I'm so pleased that people do stop and help when needed. I know I did the right thing , I was nervous only because there was a small crowd around and the child was struggling to free himself , he was obviously not mine. I just felt that if I as an older woman couldn't help a child without being nervous what would a younger man or woman feel. I'm glad to say that it doesn't seem to matter people will always go to someone's aid. Well done mumsnetters you should all be proud of yourselves.

Well done @Totaldogsbody.

Was the mum suitably grateful to you or was she a bit in shock?

You were awesome.

I've been in a couple of awful situations with my kids and I would have wanted to cry and hug you if you had stopped my child.

They disappear so quickly.

My default is to trust people (despite bad experiences), which is odd I suppose, but I think most people are good and we should all, male or female, always intervene when we think a child is lost or on the run. It's sad that men suffer so much because of the actions of a few nasty bastards.

wheretonow
I think the mum was in shock but I'm white british and the little boy was of African descent and I think there may have been a slight language barrier I was just so pleased to see her and hand over her son, I didn't need thanks just seeing relief in her face was enough.

You did the right thing. I once saw a little boy of a similar age tearing through a busy Christmas market. DH and I noticed him and both of us felt he was alone. I ran after him and asked where his parents were and if he was ok, someone on a stall had also noticed him and assumed I was his Mum, they said “oh mummy has found you now” his Dad caught up with him a minute or so later (enough time for me to have a conversion with the man on the stall re the boy being alone) and he was really cross and quite rude to me! I wasn’t leading the boy anywhere, I just stopped him to talk and assess. I felt like a total Wally! At least this boy was alone!

You did the right thing, I would do the same with small children. I'm never sure with slightly older children though. A few weeks ago I was out for a walk with toddler DS and saw a young lad, about 7 or 8 years old, sat next to his bike crying. I had seen him around the area a lot, biking with his friends so I knew he wasn't lost but something was clearly wrong. I didn't know whether I should ask him if he needs help or not. In the end I just hung around in sight until he left, so he had the opportunity to ask for help if he wanted, but I wasn't sure if I made the wrong decision.

Sitting down with him in one place was a genius move and one I'll remember.

It probably did make a bit of scene, hence why folks stopped and looked, but in a good way!

Much better to be open with these things. Then there's no mystery and he gets reunited quicker.

Well done OP.

You definitely did the right thing.
Good God I shudder to think of the news we may have been hearing tonight had you not been there.