To pretend DC was named after my Dad

[MummyToBe89]

Our first DS is due in a matter of weeks and we have a name that we love.

It just so happens to be my Dad’s name.

I know if I tell my DF his name he’ll be over the moon thinking we’ve named out son after him. Do I pretend that that’s why we named him that name?

The only problem is my DM. My Mum and Dad are on great terms now, but it wasn’t always this way. When they broke up (I was 6) my Dad was very absent and it’s fair to say my DM did the bulk of the parenting. Although things are great now my Mum still likes to get little digs in after a drink about how he never gave her a penny and she did it all on her own etc.

I’d be worried if I name his, let’s say “John” then she’ll think I’ve given my Dad the honour of naming their first grandchild after him and be upset as he was absent for a lot of our childhood.

Do I tell my mum the truth that we just love the name? Then let my Dad think we’ve named him after him?

I know this may seem trivial but I just feel like naming a human is such a huge thing and don’t want to mess it up. Please help as I really don’t want to upset my Mum either!

@MummyToBe89, oh well done. Such a great decision and what a lovely thing to do for your mum.

A really great update.

Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy and the birth.

Nice try @19EssentialHummus

Still doomed to failure, but it was worth a shot

Thank you for all your lovely messages. If I remember after he’s born I’ll give you all an update. 15 pages of replies later I can’t believe I thought this was a trivial matter

Your going to be a great mum, you can change your mind.....

Mummytobe89
I'm delighted you chose different ( lovely) names.
How lovely to give your Mum a spa day as a token of your appreciation. No wonder she cried.
Best of luck.

I would choose something else.

Glad to hear of your update OP. FWIW James & Bobby are much nicer names anyway, and even more so due to the link with your DGF

I also really liked my father's name
But my father is an utter twat of a man. Left the hardwork of bringing us up to my DM. Financially very selfish and saw his kids go without in favour of his own lifestyle.

Leaving aside how my DM would feel, I wouldn't insult my DS by naming him after someone so uninspiring as both a father and a man, no matter how handsome I find his name. It was just a no-go, not even to be considered.

You've done the right thing for both your DM and DS.

Name your child what you want and be honest with everyone.

I love the names you've chosen instead!

just don't go calling him Jim Bob, eh? Although these days I guess not many people would remember the Waltons!

So much better op! Especially as they’re not the names of any of the young royals too!

As long as your prepared to give a potential daughter your mothers name then crack on

James Robert is great.

Classic names, lots of nn options.

Well done op

You Dad left you with no support and your Mum brought you up single handed and you are thinking of naming your child the same name as your Dad. Think before you act. Put yourself in your Mum's shoes. It is a slap in the face for her looking forward to her first gc. Choose another name or risk breakdown in relationship with your Mum.

Have you read the thread caringcarer, apart from the OP that is?

Your mum would still be hurt, it might be best to use another name.

Just a wee name suggestion 😊 My sister had a baby boy on monday night , his name is Charlie James, CJ. I love it , it suits him . She didn't decide until she saw him and it suits him 🥰 x

19EssentialHummus. You did try, but maybe you need to send your post again. Clearly the message didn't getting through.

Well done for going with different names OP. Have you thought of the name Charlie? A favourite of mine.

Glad you've changed your mind Op and love the names you've chosen. Classic and not too popular either!

Ah they are such nice names OP! You sound absolutely lovely, I hope you have a spa break with your mum and all goes well with little one's arrival

Think before you act.

Good advice indeed, for all the arrogant non- thread readers!

It is your choice. In an ideal world it would not matter but it does. Please, choose another name.

I could've written your post word for word, my parents even split when we were the same age! My son has the same name as my dad. He thinks I named him after him. I didn't. I call my dad 'dad' didn't even make the connection at first that it was the same first name (I know - how ridiculous). My mom rolled her eyes when my dad preened but that was the end of it. I think my dad thought he and my son would have some sort of special connection but my son's not having any it! If you love the name carry on, if my mom is bothered she's never let on, she loves her grandson too much (and I think she gloats that he loves her more than his grandad!).

Just caught up with updates. Well done OP. Good luck.

Choose another name.