To hate people using my first name

[Cloudyyy]

Is it unreasonable to expect strangers (shop assistants, clients etc) to use my title and surname instead of my first name unless I say otherwise? I just cannot stand the rudeness of being called my first name by a bank worker, just for example, without reason. We are not friends or colleagues, there is no need. It is presumptuous and rude. Is there ever a polite way of asking someone not to? I rarely dare say anything especially to clients and yet I really don’t like it. Do others think this is fine?

What gingersauceI was very irritated at work to read a staff list with staff referred to as Miss if they had never married, Ms if they were divorced and Mrs if they were currently married.

What gingersauce said*

I don’t mind reflecting dc language to them so will say Miss x teacher, but it does feel odd to get emails signed Mrs X and addressing back in kind.

I remember calling all my friends’ parents Mrs etc I would not want that now.

Languages that have a formal and familiar "you" must be a minefield for this.

I work in a client facing role (business rather than consumer) and I've never called anyone Mr or Ms/Mrs.

It's very old fashioned.

I much prefer being called by my first name rather than Ms Dogs Mother. I find the prefix a bit old fashioned and it would feel a little like I was being superior if I insisted on it. I'm mid 50s but do work in a people business which relies upon striking up a rapport quite quickly. On the rare occasion I encounter someone who wishes to be addressed using title I do judge them to be a little old fashioned. Sorry !

We have surnames in order that onevperson can be distinguished from another.

I expect to be addressed by my first name, it’s polite and friendly. My first name was good enough for my
parents to call me. If l book a table in a restaurant I give my first name. My surname us nothing to do with them.

Actually I did live in France for a long time - I wonder if this has influenced my thinking?

I speak a language that has a formal and informal 'you'. The formal one is hardly used nowadays but I feel it sounds rude to use the wrong form.

I find it pretensions whenever someone calls me Miss Smith. I prefere first names. Or better yet, no names. Usually they are unnecessary when talking directly. Or first last in writing.

Honestly, I don’t mind or often notice what someone calls me but what I could never do is respond back to someone who is giving me their first name as ‘ms queen.’ I don’t care if I’m the customer/client etc - I’m not better than they are and I don’t need to get respect that way.

On the other hand in situations where they have a title and I have a first name I also feel pretty comfortable e.g doctors because they are dealing with my personal life and I am dealing with them professionally.

This is going to make me overthink this at work now!

I work in a professional role. Usually if the customer is over 50 I will just use full name. So if they are waiting I will call them ‘Hi John Smith - then say i’m Peony nice to meet you’. Or if they have an unusual name I will use the one I can more confidently pronounce!

I usually see how the rapport goes and how they refer to themselves and go from there. Older people I will mostly refer to Mr/ Mrs. although I don’t often use names in sentences anyway.

No one had ever corrected me for using their first name but I have been corrected for using Mr/ Mrs. In my experience people value the informality.

You can still be informal and professional at the same time.

I think prefixes will die out. They are outmoded and unnecessary.

Oh and Mike - I prefer the informal 'you' too.

How would shop assistants and clients know your title? You could be a Miss, Mrs, Ms, Mx, Mr etc. My email signature at work doesn't have a prefix on, neither does my bank card. Bank workers and the likes can see obviously what my preferred prefix is as it's on my account but anything less personal that what wouldn't know.

Crack on.

you do sound very old fashioned and set in your ways though.

Get. Over. Yourself.

it’s important to be detached and use the title “Dr”, to help to inspire confidence in one’s abilities and position. And to show respect for the patient by extending them the same courtesy of a title and surname

No, it's not important.

That's not the culture where I am, and it's much better for it.

I may be younger than you, but I'm still middle-aged, and times have moved on here.

People increasingly feel much more at ease with less formality and stiffness, especially when they're feeling vulnerable and anxious in a health-related situation.

Was about to post to disagree with the first part entirely but OooerMissus beat me to it.
I hate it when doctors are stiff and stuffy. You can still be as professional if you call people by their first names.

I prefer people to use my first name. If they try to use title and surname it’s usually wrong, they say Mrs DHname but I’m Ms Myname.

The only thing I find slightly odd is when DC’s friends call me by my first name which has started recently. I don’t find it rude, just... odd. Possibly because they spent so long calling me “DC’s mum” I now feel like that’s my name...

I do quite like it when I'm called Mrs. Rising, but you're fighting an uphill battle if you'd like to be called Mrs. Lastname by everyone you come across on a daily basis.

If I were running a business I'd pay close attention to titles.

I don't like it when they repeat my name all the time in the conversation. I have a feeling that some companies have a policy where employees need to use client's name in every sentence... Makes me cringe

This. For me it's really situations where someone doesn't actually need to use my name at all, nor any pronoun. I'm not, love, duck, sweetheart, darling etc either. Just talk to me the bare minimum for the transaction.

Pet names have a time and a place IMO. I really hate it when clients call me "darlin" or "love" when they address my male colleagues as "sir" or by their name.
I was in a bad mood the other day and a workman burst into my office wanting and said "go fetch me the boss, flower" while picking his nails and not making any eye contact. When I told him I was the boss he rolled his eyes. He was sharply told to leave.

In a hospital environment it's important to introduce yourself as 'Dr Smith' to signify to the patient that, err, you're a doctor...?

I have never, ever understood why people get wound up over being called 'X's mum'. I don't expect everyone my kids interact with to know my name, as long as they know my kids and how I am related to them. If you feel like it steals your identity or something I find that really pathetic.

No, it's not important. That's not the culture where I am, and it's much better for it. I may be younger than you, but I'm still middle-aged, and times have moved on here.

None of that is much use to us if you don’t specify the culture or where ‘here’ is.

I like call centre agents who ask my permission. At school I prefer the TAs and teachers who call me Bathsheba or Bath to those who call me Mum. I'm not their mum.