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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that no jury in the land would convict me

162 replies

TreacherousPissFlap · 02/10/2019 20:50

If DH "accidentally" got smothered by his own pillow?

DH is Extremely Sick. We all know DH is Extremely Sick because he's told us Hmm

I have grudgingly conceded that he probably hasn't done it, on my one day off alone in the house since early July, on purpose. However my patience was already extremely worn when the thin, reedy voice started, thinner still when he was so fatally weakened that (on his only foray downstairs) he was unable to lift his feet properly and made that schlep, schlep, schlep noise with his slippers.

Now the Extremely Sick arm has started, that sort of vague flapping action in the vague direction of a proffered cup

Thankfully he's taken offence at my lack of sympathy and schlep, schlep, schlepped back off to bed (irrational tizzy's are a well known side effect of DH being Extremely Sick) I feel rather mournful that we're at this stage already and it's only October - we have the whole winter to get through yet

OP posts:
flashingbeacon · 03/10/2019 15:19

Dp has diabetes, which he never mentions, and is completely diet controlled. Occasionally he’ll do a quick blood test and if I ask he’ll he thinks the come was sugar free or whatever.

But bloody hell when he’s not well, I’m surprised he has any blood left with the amount of testing that goes on. “When I’m ill it knocks my sugars right out and I need to keep on top of it”. If only wishing made it so. He’s delighted when he can get a magical reading (from all the cough sweets) and call the diabetic nurse so insists he has 3 very low sugar meals a day and not to do anything strenuous. I’ve never heard her say this but would a man turning his head very slowing and blinking lie?

Naomimi · 03/10/2019 15:23

Also, I meant YANBU, of course! Sorry Blush

JoObrien7 · 03/10/2019 15:35

I was always brought up to not make a fuss about coughs or colds but a couple of years ago I had a persistent cough after a cold so I went to the Doctors. When the Doctor listened to my chest he said I had pneumonia and I was admitted to hospital straight away.

I know we are joking about this man but I would make him see a Doctor if his cough persists longer than 10 days.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 03/10/2019 15:47

Can I add the faux innocent “I am clearly dying of fever questions”

Variations on
Is it me or is it hot, cold, warm, cloudy with a chance of meatballs in this room?

Quite often my response is that it is actually hot
i) because you have the blanket of infirmity over you whilst you lie on the sofa of suffering
and
ii) you have turned the heating up to the point where I am worried the pipes will melt

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 03/10/2019 15:52

”Does anyone's DH get the "Tourette's cough""?”

Dh had a non-sweary version earlier this year - every time he coughed, he’d exclaim “I simply can’t take this any more,” “ohhh this is sooooo unbearable” - on and on and fecking ON!! He was lucky to survive.

Shosha1 · 03/10/2019 16:32

DH is great over something like a cold. But don't get me started when he pulled his calf muscles on his bloody bike. Every time he stood up he grunted and groaned. Walked like he had filled his pants. It was sooooooo hard to drive. My face must have said it all. Especially as I have Fibromyalgia and Lupus and have recently been classed as disabled with it.

TheDogsMother · 03/10/2019 16:39

This is so funny especially as I don't have to experience it any more. This is absolutely my exDH. The voice, the closing up throat, a strain of flu which is so much worse than anyone else, the dressing gown of doom. It used to drive me half mad. Oddly though he always summonsed the strength to get to the fridge and play on PlayStation.

Lovely DP rarely ever complains about illness. He just quietly and neatly gets on with it Grin

Original poster
TreacherousPissFlap · 03/10/2019 17:13

I've just arrived home to discover he's managed to "make it" down the stairs, but only because a parcel was delivered and the banging on the door woke him up.

He was going to have a shower but waited for me to get home "in case he got wobbly"

He's now prone on the sofa watching a programme on canal boats.

And he's had tablets.

Two in fact.

At 7.30 this morning Hmm

It looks like he'll be pissing me off recuperating tomorrow as well

OP posts:
Grumpelstilskin · 03/10/2019 17:20

Come on OP, you know what they do with old sick beasts. Put him out of his misery... Grin

iklboo · 03/10/2019 17:22

Does he do the Clutching Of The Duvet? His poor, Extremely Sick, pale hands gripping the top of the duvet while he swoons like a Jane Austen heroine with consumption?

willdoitinaminute · 03/10/2019 17:32

When do they change? DS 15 would drag himself up to play rugby in driving snow if he had double pneumonia, however DH takes to his bed (settee in front of tv with all four remotes lined up on his chest) at the slightest tickle in his throat. Is it the fault of the marriage vows? “In sickness “ subliminally alters their whole attitude to health.

whatever45 · 03/10/2019 17:35

I so need this thread right now. DH has THE lurgy ( read slight cough and cold) AND it's his birthday.

Send help

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