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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I should pay 1/3?

744 replies

stickeritup · 01/10/2019 19:37

Travelling with my cousin and his wife to another cousin’s wedding in a different part of the country. They have one child, who’s also coming. I don’t have any.

We’re hiring a car because neither of us has a big enough one. The cost is £120. I assumed we’d pay £40 each for the three adults. Cousin has text saying ‘so that’s £60 each’, meaning £60 for me and £60 between him and his wife.

I don’t think this is right. AIBU? I know it’s only £20 but it happens all the time when some couples assume that they count as ‘one’.

OP posts:
BumbleBeee69 · 01/10/2019 22:45

No way.. it's THIRDS for each adult OP and not a chance it's 50/50..

C0untDucku1a · 01/10/2019 22:46

Some massive cheeky fuckery on this thread. Of course you pay a third. Adults split the cost. Just because you are married doesn't mean you start costing the same and taking up the space of one person.

Some of you might need to think about whether you and your oh’s have behaved in such a cheeky manner.

AhNowTed · 01/10/2019 22:49

All these scenarios about types of car etc are irrelevant.

There's 3 adults hiring a car.

End of story.

Fraggling · 01/10/2019 22:50

I'm adding to the 1/3 vote.

Original poster
stickeritup · 01/10/2019 22:51

Make your own way - you will be singing ten green bottles and Old McDonald all the way otherwise.

I can't tell you the dread that's just put in me. The baby has just gone one and when we go for lunch or whatever is very well behaved and, despite not wanting kids myself, she's a lovely little girl to be around. I suppose I just had the idea in my head she'd be great on a car journey too.

OP posts:
cccameron · 01/10/2019 22:51

IME these sort of things are always split between the number of adults

saffy1234 · 01/10/2019 22:52

I agree with you op!

stayathomer · 01/10/2019 22:53

I think yanbu OP! I'm actually really surprised at all the 50/50 's!!

monkeymonkey2010 · 01/10/2019 22:55

Offer them 1/3 and also your 1/3 share of the total petrol costs.
If they don't like it then just go in your own car, the extra expense is worth paying for a peaceful journey without anyone taking the piss out of you.

We get penalised financially as 'single' people enough as it is, i refuse to accept it in situations like this.
I'm not a 'tax break' for married couples - and they are NOT a single entity as they are still two individuals incurring costs.

Salene · 01/10/2019 22:55

Travelling the length of the country with a 1 year old ...I'd rather stick pins in my eyes. I have small children and I tell you now it's a flipping nightmare . Avoid at all costs Confused

category12 · 01/10/2019 22:55

She might sleep for lots of it - but she'll also get really fed up of being in the car. I wouldn't choose to travel with a toddler that wasn't my own.

WitchDancer · 01/10/2019 22:55

I'm pretty sure you wouldn't spend that much on fuel. With that in mind I would be going in my own car, maybe breaking the journey into a couple of days

Notwiththeseknees · 01/10/2019 22:56

This is the kind of scenario that would make a cracking film, complete with a murder at the end.

Butterymuffin · 01/10/2019 22:56

I like 'oh, isn't your wife coming?' as a reply. I would either drive myself, alone, with a good audio book on, or I would get the train to somewhere nearer and hire a car just for the very last bit.

AhNowTed · 01/10/2019 22:56

OP have you replied to the cheeky arse?

OrchidInTheSun · 01/10/2019 22:57

Just go on the train. Don't travel with people who think you owe half the cost of a meal because they're married!

Also, long journeys with small children are the very antithesis of fun

TyneTeas · 01/10/2019 22:59

If hiring, I also think 3rds.

But... Could they fit in their own car if you took some of their stuff in yours? (You could charge them a modest courier fee Wink)

Or is the cost of hiring offset by the saving in fuel from one car?

AhNowTed · 01/10/2019 22:59

BTW I've driven from Berkshire to 20 miles south of Inverness, it took 8 hours with a half hour stop.

Get your oar in now about the fuel!!

mummmy2017 · 01/10/2019 22:59

Tell him since all three adults are working you think 1/3 each is fair, of all bills.

DianaT1969 · 01/10/2019 23:00

Are roof racks a thing anymore?

prawneater · 01/10/2019 23:04

Oh god op travelling in a car with someone else's toddler won't be fun. You'll have to stop way more often and constant faffing for toilet and snacks. Car will get much messier too. Go on your own. Guarantee you arrive a lot earlier too.

laffer · 01/10/2019 23:05

When I was travelling with my young children I would have paid a relative or friend to travel with us. They always behave so much better with others around.

morrisseysquif · 01/10/2019 23:07

Can't you get the train? Headphones or earplugs for noise of others, books, snacks, magazines, if you book really early you could go first class.

If not driving, will you sit in the front? Or at the back with the baby shaking a rattle or some noisy toys? (I have done this with my own child)

Or fly.

runoutofnamechanges · 01/10/2019 23:08

When it comes to petrol, it certainly seems fairest to share that equally. If someone gives a lift to two unrelated friends, should they only ask those two friends for 25% each for petrol, or 33% each? If the latter, why is it different if they're married?

It is different because in this scenario there are 3 people and 2 cars:

Car A
Driven by 1 person who pays 100% of the cost of petrol if they drive their own car.

Car B
Driven by a married couple who pay 50% each of the cost of petrol if they use their car.

If you decide to combine 2 cars to save money why should you reduce your costs to 33.3% and they pay 66.6% when you would both be paying 100% if you didn't combine cars? Your per person cost if you drive alone is twice theirs, so it is only fair that it should still be twice the per person cost if you are sharing a car to save money.

partysong · 01/10/2019 23:10

I think my toddler is made of magic. Honestly, I'm bordering on obsessed with the general delightfulness of him.

I would rather eat my own arms that drive 9 hours with him in the car.

Don't do that to yourself!

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