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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I should pay 1/3?

744 replies

stickeritup · 01/10/2019 19:37

Travelling with my cousin and his wife to another cousin’s wedding in a different part of the country. They have one child, who’s also coming. I don’t have any.

We’re hiring a car because neither of us has a big enough one. The cost is £120. I assumed we’d pay £40 each for the three adults. Cousin has text saying ‘so that’s £60 each’, meaning £60 for me and £60 between him and his wife.

I don’t think this is right. AIBU? I know it’s only £20 but it happens all the time when some couples assume that they count as ‘one’.

OP posts:
caringcarer · 01/10/2019 23:12

Check if he has included the fuel int he £60 he is charging you before you point out 120 split between 3 is £40 not £60. Otherwise drive your own car and go alone.

VaggieMight · 01/10/2019 23:12

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at poster's request.

Original poster
stickeritup · 01/10/2019 23:13

We get penalised financially as 'single' people enough as it is, i refuse to accept it in situations like this.

Yes, I think this is a large part of what's irked me, because it's not just a one off but the latest in a long line of things from different people. It's the cheeky couples who expect you to be fine with them standing their round as a couple, or, on sharing a taxi back to the same place, announce that they are only paying half the fare between them because they're a couple. Or try and pay their bill in restaurants as one entity, or insist you simply must spend the night of their wedding in the wedding hotel because you're part of their wedding party, but no, you can't bring someone to share the double room you're paying for because your single.

My god it annoys me.

OP posts:
pumkinspicetime · 01/10/2019 23:13

If someone gives a lift to two unrelated friends, should they only ask those two friends for 25% each for petrol, or 33% each? If the latter, why is it different if they're married?

No one is giving anyone a lift in your situation though.
You as a unit would have 100% of the petrol costs in your car and they would have 100% of the petrol costs in their car. The number of people in each car is going to make almost no difference to the petrol costs of each car. By asking your cousin to pay 2/3 rds of petrol costs you would be asking for a subsidy. Which is okay if you want to do that for other reasons such as incomes maybe?
I still wouldn't share this journey with a dc if I didn't have to.
I also think there is a risk both sides could end up feeling taken advantage of. The costs seem a potential stress point.

mumofone2019 · 01/10/2019 23:14

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn at the poster's request due to privacy concerns.

mummmy2017 · 01/10/2019 23:15

No your reduced the cost per person.
So the family save money .
An Aeroplane or train counts bums on seats.

Wheelson · 01/10/2019 23:18

Oh dear God...I have a toddler and the idea of doing this journey twice fills me with horror! We are on holiday literally 90 mins away from our house and DS moaned practically the whole way. Forget the car hire thing, I think this is a terrible idea!

mummmy2017 · 01/10/2019 23:19

Say 1000 mile traveled.
Petrol is 50 miles per gallon so 20 gallons £120.
Plus £120 for car... £240 to travel.
So £80 each adult, not £120 each family or no point sharing as no gain to Op

HorseMum91 · 01/10/2019 23:19

@stickeritup
Fuck me, really?! That sorts that out then.

That killed me Grin

category12 · 01/10/2019 23:21

I think it's very strange that people think it's fair that you should pay 50% when they would be taking up 3/4 of the car seats, and the majority of the luggage space. If you were paying 50% surely you ought to be have half the car-space. Grin

Ontheboardwalk · 01/10/2019 23:21

Stickeritup go your own way and don’t get suckered into the 'we are one when it comes to costs' of the cheeky fucker couple

You’ll end up with them trying to get you to pay 50% of everything and be a free baby sitter in and out of the car for them.

Tonnerre · 01/10/2019 23:25

Three way split.

TheSerenDipitY · 01/10/2019 23:28

pay one thrid, same for petrol and DONT let them stick you in the back with the kid for the whole trip, their kid their job to deal with her!!!! cause you know that will be the next issue ( and ill bet both will pull out the travel sickness if i sit in the back card)

Jaffacakebeast · 01/10/2019 23:28

4get the car, the petrol and the rest..... I would rather walk to Scotland, bare foot with food poisoning than travel up by car with a toddler, my own child included. Absolute hell on earth!

Original poster
stickeritup · 01/10/2019 23:30

You as a unit would have 100% of the petrol costs in your car and they would have 100% of the petrol costs in their car. The number of people in each car is going to make almost no difference to the petrol costs of each car. By asking your cousin to pay 2/3 rds of petrol costs you would be asking for a subsidy. Which is okay if you want to do that for other reasons such as incomes maybe?

Asking 2/3 of the passengers to pay 2/3 of the cost of travelling somewhere isn't asking for a subsidy.

OP posts:
cstaff · 01/10/2019 23:30

Three way on everything

Lobsterbiscuits · 01/10/2019 23:31

Three way split for sure.

Also, I am behind everyone who says dont do it. I love my best friends kids but honestly nothing could make me endure a 2 hour journey with one of them never mind 9. Plus once you get there, YOU HAVE TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN. Urgh, hell. Much better to have a lovely drive up through the lakes, a stop at Jenner's at loch lomond for a coffee and scone then a lazy, beautiful drive to your destination.

IwantedtobeEmmaPeel · 01/10/2019 23:33

stickeritup I totally get where you are coming from. It used to annoy me and my single friends no end when we would meet up with a group for dinner or picnics and we would each bring a bottle of wine and nearly all the couples would bring one bottle between them which they would down very quickly then start on ours. I’ve lost count of the times that I’ve had one glass of wine only to find the rest of my bottle finished by a couple who then moaned that there was no wine left, fucking entitled coupletons give me the rage.

Original poster
stickeritup · 01/10/2019 23:35

I would rather walk to Scotland, bare foot with food poisoning than travel up by car with a toddler

Grin Grin

Right okay. I replied 'is it not £40 each? Just been thinking - if you put some of your stuff in my car could you fit in yours? Then we could just meet at the Lakes.'

OP posts:
Losingmyboy · 01/10/2019 23:36

Depends if you would have fitted into a smaller car just the adults? Then the parents need to stump up the extra to include their child. A child takes up a whole seat. It should be per seat

Geronimo8 · 01/10/2019 23:36

You're insane to be quibbling over £20 iwhen you're going to trapped in a car with a 1 year old for 9 hours...honestly I'd bail completely or I'd pay the extra £20 and knowing what my cousin was like I'd agree payment terms FIRST. She's too young for iPad. That journey is going to take 15 hours and be utter hell.

runoutofnamechanges · 01/10/2019 23:37

Asking 2/3 of the passengers to pay 2/3 of the cost of travelling somewhere isn't asking for a subsidy.

It is when they only their individual travelling costs to get there are half of your personal cost to get there if you travel separately.

AhNowTed · 01/10/2019 23:40

@Geronimo8

She's not the one quibbling over £20 quid when the other party has 3 people in the car.

Dollymixture22 · 01/10/2019 23:48

Well done stickerup.

Let us know what they reply

Bouledeneige · 01/10/2019 23:49

Yeah I'd say 50:50. You sound a bit petty. Go on your own if you dont like it.