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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I should pay 1/3?

744 replies

stickeritup · 01/10/2019 19:37

Travelling with my cousin and his wife to another cousin’s wedding in a different part of the country. They have one child, who’s also coming. I don’t have any.

We’re hiring a car because neither of us has a big enough one. The cost is £120. I assumed we’d pay £40 each for the three adults. Cousin has text saying ‘so that’s £60 each’, meaning £60 for me and £60 between him and his wife.

I don’t think this is right. AIBU? I know it’s only £20 but it happens all the time when some couples assume that they count as ‘one’.

OP posts:
seasidequayside · 01/10/2019 21:13

Sitting in the back seat of a car chatting to someone else's (possibly travel sick) baby for 9 hours is not going to be much fun. If it's affordable I'd get a 1st class train ticket, enjoy the lovely scenery & free refreshments, take a good book/audiobook and arrive unstressed.

beethebee · 01/10/2019 21:14

You have never known hell until you've driven long distance with a small child.

Seriously, drive your car. Then you stop when and where you like, listen to whatever tunes you want, keep the thermostat how you like it etc.

Small children on journeys tend to whine, and get carsick, and want to stop all the time. Plus they have terrible taste in music. Grin

MerryMarigold · 01/10/2019 21:16

Is south West Scotland a 9hr drive from Inverness?

SleepWarrior · 01/10/2019 21:17

I think the case can be made for 1/3 or 1/2 depending on how you look at it, so I wouldn't assume they are being cheeky.

I would be concerned about whether I'd be expected to sit in the back at all, how many stops will be happening, how well their child travels (car sickness, crying etc) and what awful child entertainment you'll be stuck listening to.

Lazysundays18 · 01/10/2019 21:17

If they have a four seater car it sounds like they're hiring a car so you can join them. If you made your own way, I presume they could take their own car? I'd pay 50:50.

VaggieMight · 01/10/2019 21:18

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at poster's request.

steff13 · 01/10/2019 21:18

I don't know, for me I think I would split a car by family, so 50/50. If it were sharing amenities like rooms at a chalet or something, would split per peson.

Starburst8 · 01/10/2019 21:18

I hate it when couples do this. They are not 1 person! Grr it really grates on me. My sister was the biggest CF in regards to this, whether it was food, taxis or petrol money. In the end she realised when a few other friends called her out on it.

If there's 3 people then it gets split 3 ways imo

fedup21 · 01/10/2019 21:20

I would be concerned about whether I'd be expected to sit in the back at all, how many stops will be happening, how well their child travels (car sickness, crying etc) and what awful child entertainment you'll be stuck listening to

And how the petrol cost will be split.

And meals. Will that be 50:50 too?!

Notthetoothfairy · 01/10/2019 21:20

Another vote for fly or train. Never mind the £20, you need to factor in burial costs etc (on an 18 hour round trip car journey with a screaming baby and cousin you’re not overly fond of, murder is a distinct possibility!)

itsgettingweird · 01/10/2019 21:22

I'd look into petrol costs to take 2 cars and maybe you take some luggage V cost of hiring and 1 lot of petrol on top.

I'd say if you hire them 1/3 hire but 50/50 petrol.

DisgruntledGuineaPig · 01/10/2019 21:22

I would pay half, but only on the understanding you always sit in the front, if not taking a turn driving, you are sitting in the front passenger seat, not next to the baby.

Honestly, this is madness, it's not fun at all travelling with a baby, it's to be endured. Having done the drive from the SE UK to just NW few times, I'd pay £60 to be able to drive by myself.

TowerRavenSeven · 01/10/2019 21:23

50/50. If they had three kids with them I wouldn’t expect to pay 1/6 of the price.

MutedUser · 01/10/2019 21:27

Tower she isn’t saying the child should pay her share just the other adults the kid isn’t factored into this at all so that argument is void .

Rachelover60 · 01/10/2019 21:29

Oh just go on your own. Problem solved.

perfectstorm · 01/10/2019 21:30

OP, have you ever done a very, very long car trip with a baby before?

I say this sincerely: there is no cost saving that would persuade me to travel from the South West of England to the Highlands of Scotland with someone else's baby. And I have two kids of my own.

The cost would be the very least of my concerns.

Grumpyperson · 01/10/2019 21:30

Is south West Scotland a 9hr drive from Inverness

Probably is actually. It once took us 8 hours from Elgin to Loch Lomond, though to be fair we took a very scenic route.

South West England is definitely more than 9 hours away from Inverness.

Idontwanttotalk · 01/10/2019 21:31

My DH, DB and myself tend to go on holidays together. We split things like petrol costs 3 ways with us picking up 2/3 of the cost and DB picking up 1/3. We wouldn't dream of splitting it 50:50 as that would definitely penalise him.

AnotherEmma · 01/10/2019 21:31

How old is the child? If 0-3 I would definitely avoid travelling with them. (I have a 2yo and long car journeys are NOT fun!) I would get the train if possible or fly if it's considerably cheaper.

If you do end up driving with them, I would offer 1/3 of car hire and petrol costs, take it or leave it.

Cheeky buggers!

(Also v surprised by all the PPs arguing 50/50. The OP could have taken her own car and is doing them a favour by sharing and contributing to their costs!)

perfectstorm · 01/10/2019 21:33

Ah, apologies, it's SW of Scotland to Highlands. A lot shorter and less traumatic.

Still wouldn't do it, though!

AnotherEmma · 01/10/2019 21:34

Just had another idea. You said their car is a 4 seater yes? (Must be a 5 seater?!) but not enough room for all passengers plus luggage? In that case they should buy or hire a roof box so you can all go in their car. You could contribute (1/3!) to the cost if they hire one. Plus 1/3 towards petrol.

INeedAFlerken · 01/10/2019 21:36

Drive yourself.

INeedAFlerken · 01/10/2019 21:36

Seriously.

You'll be paying 50% of the fuel and hire costs to sit in the back seat and entertain their child for them, no doubt.

Drive yourself.

Tojigornot · 01/10/2019 21:40

I’m a bit surprised I’m saying this, but I think he’s right. You need to divide by the number of cars you would otherwise use. The number of people in the cars isn’t really relevant to the cost of taking two cars.

But in your shoes, I wouldn’t want to spend that number of hours cooped up in a car with someone else’s family. So I would either drive myself, or fly.

k1233 · 01/10/2019 21:40

Ask your cousin if he was going on a road trip with you, him and a random third person, jow would the cost be split - it would be by person. Same should happen here. 3 adults, split 3 ways. Same for petrol as that will come up too.

If you were buying a round of drinks - would you buy one round for 3, he buy one round for 3, then expect you to get the next? Or would he do two rounds because it's him and his wife?