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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I should pay 1/3?

744 replies

stickeritup · 01/10/2019 19:37

Travelling with my cousin and his wife to another cousin’s wedding in a different part of the country. They have one child, who’s also coming. I don’t have any.

We’re hiring a car because neither of us has a big enough one. The cost is £120. I assumed we’d pay £40 each for the three adults. Cousin has text saying ‘so that’s £60 each’, meaning £60 for me and £60 between him and his wife.

I don’t think this is right. AIBU? I know it’s only £20 but it happens all the time when some couples assume that they count as ‘one’.

OP posts:
Imnotbent · 01/10/2019 20:37

Well I’m going against the grain here, if I had to hire a car to enable me to fit my family and luggage in because my own car wasn’t big enough I would offer my cousin a lift and ask them to go half’s on the petrol and share the driving, but would pay the hire myself.

So if I was you no way would I be paying half Shock is the wife sharing the driving too? They would still have to pay the car hire anyway and will still benefit from you driving and sharing the petrol costs.

However the extra £20 they have asked for may be worth it if you don’t have to drive the whole way yourself and the amount you would save in petrol driving solo.

mrsm43s · 01/10/2019 20:40

Surely its 50:50, because its replacing you in your car, and them in their car. So replacing 2 car journeys, one of which you would pay for in full, and one of which their family would pay for in full.

Honestly, I'd fly, and leave them to go in their car. The advantage of it being just one of you is that its likely cheaper for you to fly than drive, whereas they will need to pay for 3 flights, so its likely for it to be cheaper for them to drive,

Gruzinkerbell1 · 01/10/2019 20:41

Good god, a shared car trip from the SW to the highlands with a CF cousin and a kid that isn’t yours, and with the car packed to the rafters with baby crap and luggage sounds absolutely hideous.

Save your sanity and take your £60 and buy an advance return on the train. Or splurge and fly.

Drum2018 · 01/10/2019 20:41

I wouldn't pay half. I'd text back and say you didn't realise you'd have to pay half as there are 4 people travelling and you'd have paid a third, but you've now decided it will be more efficient for you to just take your own car or fly.

pumkinspicetime · 01/10/2019 20:41

We had to stop for sickness a few times around Oban!

For me the 50/50 is about units. Each group would use one unit each by themselves, ie one car. You are sharing one unit between the two groups so 50/50.

Rounds in a pub would be different because the one group would have 2/3 units and the other group would have one unit. So 50/50 wouldn't be fair.

pumkinspicetime · 01/10/2019 20:41

I would still fly though.

Highlights12 · 01/10/2019 20:42

I'd message him & say its £120 not £180 so only £40 each.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 01/10/2019 20:44

If the other family couldn't travel in their own car with or without OP then they will have to hire a car regardless. So they aren't compromising. They are gaining by offloading half of the cost they will have to pay anyways onto someone else.

RandomMess · 01/10/2019 20:47

I would rather go on my own too!!!

OnTheEdgeOfTheNight · 01/10/2019 20:49

They'll expect you to pay half the petrol costs too, and they'll expect everything to be centred around what they need as a family - honestly I think you should make your own way there. You can leave when you like, stop when you like, or even use public transport. If you go with your cousin you'll spend the entire wedding dreading the return journey. The west coast of Scotland has some lovely scenery but the roads can also be a source of frustration and travel sickness.

GorkyMcPorky · 01/10/2019 20:53

Ugh. One of them will drive and you'll end up entertaining their kid. Go on your own.

MyDcAreMarvel · 01/10/2019 20:53

50/50 you are being petty.

Butchyrestingface · 01/10/2019 20:54

Another vote for fly. It’d be bad enough without the child but once you factor that in... 😱

Perunatop · 01/10/2019 20:55

Sounds too far to drive, take a plane.

IwantedtobeEmmaPeel · 01/10/2019 21:01

Thirds, thirds, thirds.

StCharlotte · 01/10/2019 21:02

Surely its 50:50, because its replacing you in your car, and them in their car. So replacing 2 car journeys, one of which you would pay for in full, and one of which their family would pay for in full.

Fair enough. I have a small car which would comfortably seat four but you'd have to wear all your clothes Ryanair-style as the boot will just about fit my handbag.

Yeah I would also prefer to go by myself and pretend I'm in a film or something Grin

CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson · 01/10/2019 21:02

You could make a counter argument that given that they're hiring a car anyway (their's isn't big enough), whereas your car is fine for you, you are doing them a favour by coming with them in the hire car and sharing the driving. You're happy to share the petrol costs (1/3) but not the hire costs, since they're hiring anyway, with or without you.

Not suggesting you should do this but it's just as reasonable argument as the 50/50 one.

I'm in the go on your own (car / train / fly depending on preference) camp. This journey will be shit with a small child and take forever

RandomMess · 01/10/2019 21:02

Absolutely fly or train! Download loads onto a tablet and have a movie marathon with no toddler to entertain!

MerryMarigold · 01/10/2019 21:03

Next they'll expect you to drive 50% and entertain their DC 50% of the time!

TheRobinIsBobbingAlong · 01/10/2019 21:05

I'd say 50:50 and let your cousin pay for the petrol to top the tank up before you return the car.

TimeForNewStart · 01/10/2019 21:05

I would fly!

Boysey45 · 01/10/2019 21:06

I'd fly up, I would'nt care how much it costs, this couple wouldn't be getting a penny out of me.
I cant stand being taken advantage of financially, they are trying to rip you off OP. Its should be 1/3 each.

yellowallpaper · 01/10/2019 21:06

If you'd have been taking a train you would have paid real equal shares as 3 adults. They are taking the piss.

yellowallpaper · 01/10/2019 21:09

I'd take myself anyway. Putting up with 2 other adults and a child would be awful.

Seeingadistance · 01/10/2019 21:12

Am I the only person who knows that Scotland also has a South West? Why is everyone assuming that the South West is handy for Bristol Airport? I’m in South West Scotland and having to get to Bristol to fly to Inverness would be a real pain in the arse.

OP should pay a third.

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