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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I should pay 1/3?

744 replies

stickeritup · 01/10/2019 19:37

Travelling with my cousin and his wife to another cousin’s wedding in a different part of the country. They have one child, who’s also coming. I don’t have any.

We’re hiring a car because neither of us has a big enough one. The cost is £120. I assumed we’d pay £40 each for the three adults. Cousin has text saying ‘so that’s £60 each’, meaning £60 for me and £60 between him and his wife.

I don’t think this is right. AIBU? I know it’s only £20 but it happens all the time when some couples assume that they count as ‘one’.

OP posts:
SaraNade · 02/10/2019 14:43

*Why all the fuss about a suitcase, too? It'll just be in the boot sho who cares?"

Yeah! I was wondering this. Suitcases don't go on seats in the car, they go in the boot. And seriously even a tiny hatchback can fit from experience, 4 suitcases in the boot, AND with the door shutting. I don't get the suitcase thing, unless either of you have a suitcase the length of a sofa.

I bet if you text him back that you've decided to go by yourself, he'll suddenly say, 'ok, make it $40 then'. (sorry, my keyboard doesn't have the UK pound sign thing, so have to do $ ) Sounds like they are the ones who need the hire car, and are getting you to subsidise it for them. Without you, they'd still have to hire a car for themselves, but pay 100%. If they con you into going with them, they only pay 50% (or 67% at worst). Even if he comes back and says (which I have no doubt he will) 'ok, we'll make it $40 then', stick to your line of going by yourself (even if you have to mention because well, baby, etc) and don't cave in.

NotGoingToFall · 02/10/2019 14:48

I have hybrid car and can barely fit 2 suitcase in (only if they're hand luggage size).

tabulahrasa · 02/10/2019 14:52

“WTF are you on about? If each adult is sharing the driving equally then each adult is getting the same amount of time not driving. Or does couple entitlement extend to time as well as money?”

Yep I totally meant couples experience time differently... and not that if they travel in two cars they’re already sharing driving and the OP can’t.

RainyG · 02/10/2019 15:03

Yep I totally meant couples experience time differently... and not that if they travel in two cars they’re already sharing driving and the OP can’t.

So you are actually suggesting because the OP would go from 100% driving to 1/3 driving, and each individual in the couple would go from 50% driving to 1/3 driving, that the OP should pay more? SERIOUSLY?!

AmIThough · 02/10/2019 15:13

@SaraNade what kind of small hatchback fits 4 suitcases?
Mine just about fits the pushchair...

OrchidInTheSun · 02/10/2019 15:19

So because he's too cheap to split the cost 3 ways, he's now going to have to pay over £300 to get there.

What a knob

tabulahrasa · 02/10/2019 15:44

“So you are actually suggesting because the OP would go from 100% driving to 1/3 driving, and each individual in the couple would go from 50% driving to 1/3 driving, that the OP should pay more? SERIOUSLY?!”

No, that’s not what I posted.

SaraNade · 02/10/2019 15:47

@AmIThough My old Toyota Starlet did. 4 suitcases stacked on top of each other. I've yet to come across a suitcase that is longer than the width of a car.

Serenity45 · 02/10/2019 15:49

Another vote for 1/3 OP, if you hire a car (though I guess that's a big if now Grin )

My BIL was single for a few years and DH and I would NEVER have expected to split meal bills / other costs 50:50. And I absolutely get my round in at the bar because they all drink slowly

There are some massive CFs on this thread!

fedup21 · 02/10/2019 16:04

'DW is only going because it's X's (our family member's) wedding though.

So what?! So that means you should subsidise her??

I hope you’ve told them to get stuffed?!

DisgruntledGuineaPig · 02/10/2019 16:16

You have completely made the right choice! I'm surprised that at the toddler stage and staying at a hotel, they can't fit everything they need in a normal car, even a small one - even if (and it's a big if!) the buggy they wanted to take took up the whole boot, they should be able to fit a bag enough for both of them on the spare seat and then a whole extra holdall in the footwell by the spare seat, with another fitting in the footwell by the toddler seat as they don't need leg room.

Only thing I can think of is they are taking a travel cot with them rather than just getting the hotel to provide one.

AnotherEmma · 02/10/2019 16:20

"seriously even a tiny hatchback can fit from experience, 4 suitcases in the boot"

It's not just about the suitcases. Any parent will be able to tell you that travelling with a 1yo usually involves taking stupid amounts of luggage. A pushchair, maybe a travel cot (unless there is a travel cot they can use at their destination), and possibly a few other bits too - travel high chair or booster seat for example (not essential but certainly helpful if the wedding venue won't provide one). And we usually end up taking a large bag or small suitcase just for the baby (their clothes are small but you need nappies, grobag/blanket, a few books or toys to keep them happy, and probably spare clothes and bedding in case they vomit on everything).

AnotherEmma · 02/10/2019 16:21

Ha cross post!

Weebitawks · 02/10/2019 16:21

Nope, you should pay 1/3 each. We're going to a wedding in March and DH and I are hiring a yurt with 2 of my friends (not a couple). There are 4 of us and we're paying 1/4 each. It would never occur to me to see if we could get away and DH and I counting as one.

Dollymixture22 · 02/10/2019 17:03

People can treat single people like shit.

I hired a car on holiday with friends who were also a couple. They made me pay half then insisted I sit In the back seat the whole journey. Never again.

Take your own car, listen to your own music and stop when you want.

I wonder if your cousins line would work with an airline, the missus is going t9 the wedding because of my family, therefore she should fly free.

Your cousin is bonkers

Original poster
stickeritup · 02/10/2019 17:32

I replied saying: 'Yeah I know, but we'll spend in car hire near enough what we'd pay in petrol anyway. I'll go up to [place we're staying in the Lakes] then at least I'll be there to get the keys and everything in case you and X need to make stops for the baby. Should be room in my car for another case, bring it along at the weekend and we can check.'

OP posts:
amispeakingenglish · 02/10/2019 17:39

Def 1/3rd each. Not 50/50

Or go on your own.

BlockedandDeleted · 02/10/2019 17:39

👍

patricia1979 · 02/10/2019 17:41

They are being stingy. In the extreme. What about petrol? Not to mention having to deal with a baby in the car. Don’t be scared of messaging your cousin and making it fair. Presumably if his wife and baby weren’t going you wouldn’t need to hire a car atall. I’d be tempted to tell them where to stick it

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 02/10/2019 17:42

You’ve really buggered their childcare plans now, OP.

AnotherEmma · 02/10/2019 17:43

Nicely done 👍

MutedUser · 02/10/2019 17:44

You will not regret your decision OP the drive there would be bad enough but the drive back would be unbearable.

coffeewithcream · 02/10/2019 17:46

I think splitting equally per adult more than acceptable

gill1960 · 02/10/2019 17:47

How mean of him

3 adults sharing

40.00 each

Frokni · 02/10/2019 17:49

3 adults in car = 3-way split
So yes you pay a third