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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I should pay 1/3?

744 replies

stickeritup · 01/10/2019 19:37

Travelling with my cousin and his wife to another cousin’s wedding in a different part of the country. They have one child, who’s also coming. I don’t have any.

We’re hiring a car because neither of us has a big enough one. The cost is £120. I assumed we’d pay £40 each for the three adults. Cousin has text saying ‘so that’s £60 each’, meaning £60 for me and £60 between him and his wife.

I don’t think this is right. AIBU? I know it’s only £20 but it happens all the time when some couples assume that they count as ‘one’.

OP posts:
CalmdownJanet · 02/10/2019 12:39

He gets cheekier!! Reply with "Confused I'm not sure why you think that means I need to pay over the odds? No to worry, I have decided I'm going to road trip alone. Happy to take a small case if needed, let me know closer to the time" you tight prick

cancelledtrains · 02/10/2019 12:39

And reminds me of an agony aunt letter I read where 4 couples used to socialise. One of the women became widowed but continued to dine with the other 3 couples. The other 3 insisted she should still pay a quarter of the bill. Awful behaviour

OnTheEdgeOfTheNight · 02/10/2019 12:40

If you agree to take his suitcase and suit carrier , you must stipulate a max size otherwise you may not have much room in your own car for your own stuff. I'd tell him no. Apart from anything else, after the e wedding you'll be stuck waiting for him to pack before setting off on the return journey, and having to deliver his case at the end, rather than suiting yourself (pun not intended).

Gruzinkerbell1 · 02/10/2019 12:43

He’s a right cheeky fuck 😂

OnTheEdgeOfTheNight · 02/10/2019 12:45

Here's a premonition of sharing the petrol costs :

Cousin - you stay in the back with the baby Sticker, I'll fill up.
Cashier : £46.37 please
Cousin : that's £25 you owe me Sticker

OnTheEdgeOfTheNight · 02/10/2019 12:47

At least the cousin is being clear though - his wife and child aren't paying for anything, they're only tagging along and the two closest relatives are paying 50/50.

Menandsecondfamilies · 02/10/2019 12:48

Kids in cars are the worst Grin

OrchidInTheSun · 02/10/2019 12:49

Why would you take his stuff? That's his bloody problem, not yours. If his car isn't big enough now they have had a baby, they need to get a bigger car.

none of this is your problem and you are under no obligation to help solve it*

managedmis · 02/10/2019 12:50

It's 9 hours, right???

managedmis · 02/10/2019 12:51

Loch lomond is shit anyway

managedmis · 02/10/2019 12:53

Why all the fuss about a suitcase, too? It'll just be in the boot sho who cares? Not like your paying flight fees for checked luggage?

managedmis · 02/10/2019 12:54

Would be twice the amount of petrol for us both this way though.'

^^

What?

CampingItUp · 02/10/2019 13:04

"then a pub dinner and a couple of drinks"
Hmmm, not guaranteed, with a one year old.

"Would be twice the amount of petrol for us both this way though."

Hmmm. I have just done a fuel cost calculator from Dorset to Inverness, petrol comes in at £208. for a return trip of 1250 miles in a Ford Kuga.
So if he wants you to pay 50% of that, your cost would be £60 for the car hire, and £104 for the petrol.

Making your saving £44.

By taking you in a hire car that he has to have, he is saving £164.

If you take his stuff and go in separate cars you each spend £208.

RainyG · 02/10/2019 13:09

Maybe us singletons should treat couples who see themselves as one unit cost in the same manner at birthdays and Christmas. Let's forget the married partner when it comes to gifts as apparently they don't count as an individual when other financial matters need to be shared.

GooseFeather · 02/10/2019 13:13

Regular long car journeys with a toddler are shit. An occasional one, not so much. Even I can cope with that and I am notoriously grumpy! I would share and accept the 50:50, not because I am a pushover who won't stand up to a CF, but because the overall cost is reduced by 50%, using one car instead of two. It is also more environmentally friendly, more sociable, safer for all to share the driving etc.

Littleheart5 · 02/10/2019 13:16

Third each for sure!! Nothing worse than couples think they come as one! Have ’couple friends’ who think they count as one person doing rounds in a pub- so dont do a round each; just ‘their’ round/my round- nothing more annoying!

AmIThough · 02/10/2019 13:19

I definitely think you should fly now. Let him know you wouldn't be going to the Scottish highlands if it wasn't for the wedding either Hmm makes no sense for the wife not to contribute!

AnotherEmma · 02/10/2019 13:31

If his wife doesn't want to go to the wedding, she could stay at home with their child, and the two of you could go in your car, sharing petrol and other costs 50/50.

If she wants to go, all costs should be split 3 ways, and if they don't want to pay 2/3 they can just travel without you and pay it all.

Idiots.

Elpheba · 02/10/2019 13:50

Our in-laws are a 6 hour drive if you’re an adult and do one quick stop- with DC it’s 8+ hours and the worst journey has been 11. We actually stopped driving there when each DC was between 9 and 18 months old as they’re in that horrible phase where they won’t nap much, can’t watch an iPad, can’t play for things for long. It’s just hell and so we pay double to fly or train. So for that alone I agree with everyone saying go your own way, and for the record YANBU to want to go 1/3s!

CornishMaid1 · 02/10/2019 14:05

Definitely 1/3 of the cost - if you have to hire a car big enough to fit his extra people then they should pay more.

I do find it funny people are saying it is a 9 hour journey from the South West to the Highlands because that is the distance google says from Bristol to Inverness. To people in the actual South West, Bristol isn't in it and for some of us, it takes 2.5-3 hours to get from the South West to Bristol to even start the rest of the journey, so is probably closer to 11-12 hours.

Littleheart5 · 02/10/2019 14:07

**Would be twice the amount of petrol for us both this way though.

So he’s planning on going 50/50 with the petrol too OP

prawneater · 02/10/2019 14:28

So he's not shy about saying he wants you to subsidise her! Even more reason to back. Fuck that!

spoonyJoe · 02/10/2019 14:37

Yes! He’s sliding that petrol information in there!😂

I’d reply ‘we are all only going for Hamish’s wedding’.

The obvious best solution here is for you to go in your own car and Mumsnetters can meet you ‘en route’ and you can see the glorious sights and have a nice meal with one of us instead. We will split the bill properly and everything!

PrincessFiorimonde · 02/10/2019 14:37

I'm wondering if your cousin and his wife have ever done a long drive with their toddler.

Totally agree that if you were going to hire a car together, you should pay a third. But sounds like you're doing the best thing by making your own way to the wedding.

DeviousBrie · 02/10/2019 14:39

I'd fly, and ask your cousin to pick you up in Scotland since hes bringing the car😂

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