Page 11 | To think I should pay 1/3?

stickeritup · 2019-10-01T18:37:24+00:00

Travelling with my cousin and his wife to another cousin’s wedding in a different part of the country. They have one child, who’s also coming. I don’t have any. We’re hiring a car because neither of us has a big enough one. The cost is £120. I assumed we’d pay £40 each for the three adults. Cousin has text saying ‘so that’s £60 each’, meaning £60 for me and £60 between him and his wife. I don’t think this is right. AIBU? I know it’s only £20 but it happens all the time when some couples assume that they count as ‘one’.

Geekynzmum · 01/10/2019 23:49

We had this recently for a holiday and split the cost between all the adults and there were 5 adults and 2 kids, but hubby and I were the only couple. That just seemed to be the fairest way and everyone was happy with it.

Original poster

stickeritup · 01/10/2019 23:50

Absolutely EmmaPeel. Or the couples where you're so close to them both you get them a nice birthday present each and on yours they give you a bottle of Echo Falls between them

Last year I travelled abroad to a friend's wedding with another friend. Me single, her with her husband and child. She was bemoaning that the flights were going to cost her twice as much as mine, even though there were 3 of them. Anyway, she then asked if I wanted to share a suitcase with the three of them, explaining that I could just drive my things up to her house and she'd pack them. That way, instead of her family spending £40 to take a case and me spending £40 to take a case, it would only be £20 each... Her husband was presumably taking no clothes.

Had another one when me, friend A, & friend B + her girlfriend were going to buy another friend a nice present for a special birthday. B & girlfriend were equally close to birthday boy. Friend A also in a relationship with someone not close to birthday boy and not appearing on the card. Cost, say, £100. That's £25 each then, said me and friend A. Howls of outrage from friend B who insisted the only fair way was for me to pay £33, friend A to pay £33, B herself to pay £16.50, and her girlfriend to pay £16.50. She would not accept that this was unreasonable.

It's a strange mindset.

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katewhinesalot · 01/10/2019 23:52

I'm torn on this one but think I err on the side of 50:50.
You'd have two cars. One each, so joining together you need half a car each.

MutedUser · 01/10/2019 23:53

Well done OP let us know how you get on

RainyG · 01/10/2019 23:54

I bet all those saying 50/50 are in couples.

Some couples have no appreciation how far more expensive cost of living is as a single person, without couples trying to benefit out of it in top of it. Three adults are sharing the cost of a car. The costs should be split 3 ways. Simple and fair and doesn't penalise against one person.

But honestly OP, I'm another one who can't bear more than a couple of hours in the car with my own toddler. Never mind somebody else's toddler for NINE hours !!! DON'T DO IT!! I'd rather pay three times the cost to travel peacefully on my own again.

Fuckedoff1 · 01/10/2019 23:57

There might other costs too with hiring. Who has to pay for cleaning the car if baby is sick in it? Also they may not let you use your own baby seat and charge through the nose for hiring one from them. They also accuse you of damage to the car - scratched wheels etc. Not that OP would have to pay for all those, but worth considering if cost of fuel for two cars of their own is having any impact on the decision to hire.

RainyG · 01/10/2019 23:57

Or the couples where you're so close to them both you get them a nice birthday present each and on yours they give you a bottle of Echo Falls between them

My brother and his girlfriend do this. If I spend £20-25 each on their birthdays that's £40-50. My gifts from both of them are about £20-30. They have more than double my income and outgoings are shared (council tax as a single person is not halved, for example!).

Original poster

stickeritup · 01/10/2019 23:59

It's not the £20, it's the principle of it - the assumption that couples should only be expected to pick up the cost as if they were one person. Fine if they're with other couples, but unfair to single people.

Depends if you would have fitted into a smaller car just the adults? Then the parents need to stump up the extra to include their child. A child takes up a whole seat. It should be per seat We might have done but it's unlikely with the luggage and it would have been uncomfortable. It's not covering the baby's 'costs' that bothers me, it's covering another grown adult's in his wife

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Gwenhwyfar · 01/10/2019 23:59

"buy an advance return on the train. Or splurge and fly."

Why are you assuming that flying would be more expensive than the train when the opposite is usually true.

Original poster

stickeritup · 02/10/2019 00:03

My brother and his girlfriend do this. If I spend £20-25 each on their birthdays that's £40-50. My gifts from both of them are about £20-30. They have more than double my income and outgoings are shared (council tax as a single person is not halved, for example!).

Yep, absolutely this. You have my sympathy.

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AhNowTed · 02/10/2019 00:06

Couples that think they only pay for 1 round or share give me the rage.

Generally he buys "their" one round while she sits there on her hands.

Aargh!!!

Gwenhwyfar · 02/10/2019 00:07

"We had this recently for a holiday and split the cost between all the adults and there were 5 adults and 2 kids, but hubby and I were the only couple. That just seemed to be the fairest way"

Why did the other people have to subsidise the kids? Parents should pay for their kids surely, unless it's an extended family.

Original poster

stickeritup · 02/10/2019 00:12

Generally he buys "their" one round while she sits there on her hands.

And tells you how her husband would never dream of her going to the bar while he was there.

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Moomin8 · 02/10/2019 00:14

YANBU and they are trying to take advantage. Why should one person stump up the same cost as a family of 3? Hardly fair.

mummmy2017 · 02/10/2019 00:14

So funny, sat in a pub . 7 of us ,
I got a round , round Mil did a round , Sil got couple a drink , female sneaked off and just got herself a pint. So I got water, MIL laughed and said get me one.
The female sat there expecting a drink... Got really pissy when we said no.

Shamoo · 02/10/2019 00:16

1/3 each obviously. I can’t understand how anybody thinks differently. But yeah I would drive on your own. No doubt!!!

Soon2BeMumof3 · 02/10/2019 00:18

I'm flabbergasted that anyone thinks 50/50 is fair in this circumstance. And I'm married with children.

Agree with PPs, travelling with a toddler could be hellish- you should be avoiding it, not paying for the privilege.

You are going them a huge favour by reducing their costs by a third, and presumably you will also end up helping wrangle the toddler.

I'd go on my own in your situation.

Makesmilingyourbesthobby · 02/10/2019 00:25

1/3 each, I'm single and I do a lot of things with my DSis and BIL that we split costs and we always do it in thirds except when we go out for food as BIL tends to buy the expensive big meals that cost more than half of ours. When we do things with the DC (both got same amount of kids) BIL pays for himself and then the rest of us go 50/50, when travelling in same car though even with DC we go thirds always have

AhNowTed · 02/10/2019 00:27

@stickeritup *
*
*And tells you how her husband would never dream of her going to the bar..
*

has she lost the use of her legs
is she living in the 1950's
she's not capable of buying a flaming drink and
they're a couple so will fleece you for 2 drinks to your 1

DippyAvocado · 02/10/2019 00:28

Last year I travelled abroad to a friend's wedding with another friend. Me single, her with her husband and child. She was bemoaning that the flights were going to cost her twice as much as mine, even though there were 3 of them. Anyway, she then asked if I wanted to share a suitcase with the three of them, explaining that I could just drive my things up to her house and she'd pack them. That way, instead of her family spending £40 to take a case and me spending £40 to take a case, it would only be £20 each... Her husband was presumably taking no clothes.

Has this coloured your view perhaps? Your friend was taking the piss. However, you could argue this situation is a bit different. If you had to pay for a car to transport yourself and they would have had to pay for a car to transport the family then it is reasonable to split 50:50 as you will be paying half the cost you otherwise would have done.

Personally though, II think if I was travelling as a family and just needed to fit one extra person in I would pay for the car and just ask the lone person for petrol money.

Original poster

stickeritup · 02/10/2019 00:34

That's just one example in a long line, Dippy.

If you had to pay for a car to transport yourself and they would have had to pay for a car to transport the family then it is reasonable to split 50:50

I wouldn't have to pay for a car, I could use my own if I travelled alone. The hire car was so we'd all spend less on petrol and could take turns driving.

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M3lon · 02/10/2019 00:38

Sorry - I'm sure there is an interesting debate here involving costs and all but WTAF are you thinking saying you thought the toddler would be well behaved on a 9+ hour car journey?

If you aren't mad already...and the evidence is strong that you are...you certainly will be after that.

God, its making me cross my legs extra hard just thinking about it.

M3lon · 02/10/2019 00:39

Bail! Bail hard and bail fast.....

nocoolnamesleft · 02/10/2019 00:41

Fair split between adults in the party. 1/3

AhNowTed · 02/10/2019 00:43

@stickeritup

I'm about to go to bed.

Fuck this shit.

It's the principle of the thing.

Don't let them away with yet again treating their family as one entity, ergo one share.

To take their (and some of the posters on here) stance to its ultimate conclusion - they could have 6 people in a vehicle, but because they're a "family" they only pay half, and you as a single person pay the other half.

Nonsense.