To get my 3 year old baptised in an attempt to get into a Catholic school

[nestisflown]

AIBU on two levels:

1. to want to baptise my 3 year old and start attending local mass weekly in order to get into one of the best schools in the area (and our closest school, although the next closest secular school is also an excellent one). Is this morally dubious? Or do lots of parents do the same?

1. to think that my transparent plan will work and help my child get a place even though we'll have been attending mass for less than a year by the time applications are made...and the applications want proof of "sustained weekly attendance". It doesnt define sustained though

My reasons for wanting my child to go to Catholic school are: (1.) It is a great school academically; (2) it's our closest school; (3) it's the only good faith school close to us (there's a CofE school but it's doesn't perform well academically), and as a non-Catholic but practising Christian, I'd quite like to see faith incorporated into my child's school day...even in a different denomination.

Has anyone done this? Has anyone succeeded?

I don’t agree with this. There’s wider family, friends, acquaintances.

They’re not in school though, are they? My comment was specifically about not being able to avoid it in school. Your experience of Catholic doctrine making little impact outside of school wasn’t my experience. We were expected to go to Mass every Sunday, to make our first holy communion and confirmation - all things that happened outside school (though the preparation was done inside school).

But even if it is the case that you barely notice the Catholicism in RC schools , you then wonder what it is that people thiink they’re choosing when they choose an RC school? Is it just that when a school is selective - on any criteria - it makes it seem more desirable?

you then wonder what it is that people thiink they’re choosing when they choose an RC school?

Presumably it’s because the academic results are good.

God, some of you are acting like catholic school is going to make them become nuns and priests.

“(if you listen to what Pope Francis says, it’s really important to him)”
Can you link to anywhere Pope Frances says that homosexuality is acceptable in the Catholic Church?

Presumably it’s because the academic results are good.

Exactly. Because it’s a selective school. So all this talk about the ethos and how RC schools should only be for practising Catholics is bullshit. I wonder how many Catholics are queuing up to go to under-performing RC schools.

I wonder how many Catholics are queuing up to go to under-performing RC schools.

That is an interesting question.

Undersubscribed faith schools perform in line with the catchment.

My primary was an underperforming state school and second choice for us. It's pulled itself up. Similarly the secondary which is now award winning since Ofsted put it in special measures and it clawed its way out.
And we didn't go to the secondary unlike all the kids in DD's primary school cohort-including Non Catholics because my dd hates religion.

It makes me chuckle that all posters assume Catholic schools are The Best. If, like me, you grew up in a Catholic area it's kind of the norm and as good or bad as any other.

It makes me chuckle that all posters assume Catholic schools are The Best.

I don’t think anyone has said that on here. It’s more that when a school is RC and has good results, it will attract people who want a high-performing school and are willing to pretend to be Catholic to do it, hence perpetuating and reinforcing the discrimination inherent in a selective system.

I disagree. I think the general assumption is Catholic school = High performing/Fabulous discipline etc. Usually by people who have never been to one.
It is absolutely the norm sort of school where I grew up (Lancashire) and the norm in the part of Manchester I live in now.

@bellinisurge No one has said that. We are all aware that there are underperforming Catholic schools too... in this discussion though most people understand that we're only talking about high performing Catholic schools since that's the type of school I mentioned in the OP.

Fair enough. As dishonest as pretending you live in catchment when you don't.

Where do you stand on the priest Camomila mentioned signing the form for ‘regular worshippers’ who haven’t met the regular worship criteria due to shift changes, Bellini? Despite the claim of exceptional circumstances, it shouldn’t have counted.

Fair enough. As dishonest as pretending you live in catchment when you don't.

How? The equivalent of that would be me lying on the form by finding a priest who would collude to pretend my child was baptised and we attended services when that wasn't true. I've said I would attend services get my child baptised- as per the entry requirements. That's more akin to moving to a cachment area you don't love because there's a good school there.

💯 the Spotlight movie made me feel ashamed to be Catholic. The cover up was/is as bad as the offending.

My son is off to a Catholic school next year (aged 5) and has been to Mass maybe 5 times in his life - Christmas, his baptism and a couple of others. Has no issues getting the preference certificate signed.

My 10 closest friends are from my Catholic high school. We are all “lapsed” some more so than others, I’d say about 6 of us have kids baptised & going to RC schools which is a pretty good strike rate for the Church. It’s the only effective recruitment tool they have these days. If others want to get on board, good luck to them.

I didn’t attend any masses or pretend I was observant, for avoidance of doubt. Suspect the church Round here is a bit more pragmatic and/or my zillions of very RC rellies have conferred some legitimacy on me.

OP you say you disagree with a lot of christian rules and ideas but yet you are willing to send your kid to a catholic school! you do realise that you will be expected to participate to all catholic celebrations, etc once your kid is at school!? Also baptism is not enough and you do need a letter from the priest.

@nestisflown

All you talk about is 'meeting the entry requirements'. Assuming you do that and your child gets into the school, what next?

Are you going to enjoy being one of the outcast parents who won't be invited to stand with the Uber catholic parents at pick up times?

Are you going to enjoy hearing from your child that they aren't allowed to be in the choir any more even though they enjoy singing because only the children doing their Holy Communion are eligible to be in the choir?

Will you mind that your child never gets the main part in a play because you aren't a true Catholic?

Unless your child is super bright (not being a true Catholic), the reality is that they may be overlooked.

Because, the above situations happen in schools like this all the time. The doctrines and saying of Hail Mary in assembly should be the least of anyone's concerns.

It wasn't my parish Rafals it was just a chat I had with a dad I knew from DHs parents parish so I didn't ask the exact details of their rules/SAFs (supplementary information forms)

One of the schools I am applying to has a box for the priest to add a few lines of additional information though....I guess that's the where the priest could add about 'Bobs' change in shifts or 'Janes' broken leg or 'Anna' takes her DM to the Polish Mass on Wednesdays instead of Sundays.

Sorry ignore me Rafals I saw my name and thought you were asking me but then I read better and realised you were asking Bellini

@RafaIsTheKingOfClay where I stand is that I have no special care one way or the other. Apart from the idea that people of genuine faith who sincerely want this education fir their children shouldn't have to make way for people who lie about it.
There are usually Masses going on every day - not Sunday observance ones - although there are usually Sunday observance masses on Saturday night. So I'm guessing there are opportunities for truly devout people who work shifts to attend Mass and make themselves known to the parish priest. Or they could speak to the priest about it. 90% of the priests I've ever met are open to talking about non-standard things affecting your life. Particularly if it affects your ability to attend Mass.
But as I'm a lapsed Catholic whose dd went to Catholic Primary as our second choice, not sure I'm representative of Catholics.
I just hate cheating.

Apart from the idea that people of genuine faith who sincerely want this education fir their children shouldn't have to make way for people who lie about it.

But you think it’s ok for people who live in a local area should have to make way for people from further away when it comes to getting into a local state-funded school?

I just hate cheating.

How is it cheating? The eligibility criteria for admission to an RC school don’t require people to have true belief in Catholicism (how could you even prove that?).

They simply require you to have been baptised and to meet their definition of regular church attendance. So if people meet these criteria, how are they cheating?

Seriously. I don't care. I'm just saying that if someone tries to finagle the criteria it disadvantages someone else . Who may be a more devout person.