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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is anyone prepared to admit their DC does not attend - now or in the future - a Russell Group university

204 replies

TheOliphantintheRoom · 01/10/2019 15:41

Don't be afraid. This is a safe space. MNHQ probably won't ban you. Though you may have to name change.
You can even fess up if your DC didn't go to uni.
Come on - I know you're out there.

OP posts:
shortsaint · 01/10/2019 21:44

I went to a ... gasp ... College of HE ... to do my degree. i work at a RG Uni now. Over - bloody - rated twaddle.

Can't abide this ridiculous oneupmanship.

FaerieKiss · 01/10/2019 21:44

Eldest DD is looking at various art schools. Younger DD wants to go to London School of Economics, don't think it's RG.

PeterRouseTheFleshofMankind · 01/10/2019 21:46

What is MNs obsession with Russell Groups universities? I had never heard of it until I saw it on MN and when I looked it up it turns out I went to one! Grin

nokidshere · 01/10/2019 21:50

You mean you don't even have one degree, let alone the 3 or 4 that most Mumsnetters seem to have nokids

Not a single one between the 4 of us Confused but, hopefully we can manage two in the next 3 yrs so our social standing will increase Grin

shortsaint · 01/10/2019 21:54

I believe that no such thing existed until early 90s when old polys started to name themselves Unis. They are a self proclaimed research-led group of Unis who tend to come quite high up the league tables. You might say they are elitist or even arrogant.

There are advantages to my age. I had a BALL as a student - and no pressure at all. Poor kids these days.

DrMadelineMaxwell · 01/10/2019 21:54

DD worked her fucking socks off to try and get into Cambridge, but missed it by one a grade, having already been turned down after interview but then offered an adjustment place if she'd made her grade. Huge meltdown on results day when I thought she'd done really well.

She's now at York. I've just googled it and yes it's a RG uni. She did look at the rankings for her subject and applied to the ones that were towards the top of the list.

DD2 has already declared that she's either
a - not going to uni or
b - won't be able to go to York, for eg as she won't be able to get As in her A levels.

Longlongsummer · 01/10/2019 22:00

None of my siblings even did GCSEs.

I went to RG Uni and no one cared.

Siblings now better paid than me, however they’ve had to prove themselves more, work harder and lack confidence that I was given from Uni. I think my siblings are great and I admire them.

One child is not going to even make college I don’t think. Despite me giving him ‘experiences’ and a house full of books etc. Ho Ho.

The other child has SEN and may never be independent.

So I’m the only one.

I have noticed my friends kids are all going to RG Universities and I worry that I’m left behind somewhat as their careers, which were all fine but not necessarily amazing, mine neither, are now put to the back as their hopes and pride all come from their children’s achievements.

Mine will not come from these and I’m having to stay quite tough and strong to cheer on their kids and say how fantastic they are all getting in Oxford etc and then... turn to me... as I say he’s predicted to fail A levels.

TabbyMumz · 01/10/2019 22:01

Had no idea Mumsnet was into RG unis? I dont really see the point of this thread. I get that its lighthearted, but in real life no one cares what uni people went to.

DukeofSuffolk · 01/10/2019 22:02

Neither of our DC’s went to RG uni’s for their undergrad degrees, though the eldest went to an RG for his masters.
The eldest is now an aerospace engineer.
The younger has just finished final year with a very good degree and is considering options.
RG are not the be all and end all (despite what MN says).
I didn’t go to uni at all (shock, horror) left school at 16, and still managed to become an accountant.

ultrablue · 01/10/2019 22:05

DD1 just graduated from non RG university

DS looking at Non RG university for next year, the best universities for the course he wants are non RG

DD2 wouldn't be able to stop talking long enough to fill in the applications haha, do they do a degree in non-stop talking ??

tunnocksreturns2019 · 01/10/2019 22:11

“St Andrews, Lancaster, Bath, Loughborough - none of them are RG and all feature regularly in various top 10 lists.”

This. The uni I went to is ranked second/third in the league tables and isn’t Russell Group. The uni I work at has been top 10 for over a decade and isn’t RG either.

More importantly, I love it when students pick a course they really enjoy somewhere they think they’ll feel at home. They tend to do well and be happy.

Schuyler · 01/10/2019 22:16

My favourite thing about this thread is the posters sneakily adding in tidbits about their PhD and their child who went to a non RG but is obviously doing their masters and so on and so forth. Grin

Mine are too young but we’ve had a rough time lately as a family, so I genuinely hope for only good health, stability and happiness for them.

UsedtobeFeckless · 01/10/2019 22:27

Was that a poke at me?
We all want health and happyness for our kids ... l'm worried DS1 is setting himself up for worry and disappointment because he's bought into the "only one kind of university counts" bollocks that this thread was debunking.
Sorry if you thought it was a stealth boast - it wasn't.

Schuyler · 01/10/2019 22:30

@usedtobefeckless

No, it genuinely wasn’t a poke at all. I was just reflecting on the shit time we’ve had as a family and reflecting also about my younger years and the pressure put me on to be the highest achiever.

I didn’t read your post actually but there is a lot of stealth boasting on here in general, so apologies if you felt it was at you.

TooManyPaws · 01/10/2019 22:36

I have no idea what an RG university is. I'd never heard of it until I joined MN. However, mine is an Ancient University, pre-Reformation, and was voted best in Scotland last year. My post-graduate university is consistently one of the best for graduate employment.

UsedtobeFeckless · 01/10/2019 22:40

Sorry you've had a bad time - l really hope better things are in store for you.
I'm actually quite worried about DS setting himself up to fail because he has been getting a load of elitest nonsense from somewhere so that hit a bit of a raw nerve.
You are quite right though - we should value the real stuff and not get all bent out of shape by the details!

Trewser · 01/10/2019 22:52

Not sure if it's deliberate, but the stealth boasting on here is mad.

Dd goes to a distinctly non RG uni in a distinctly non RG area. She loves both the course and the uni, the people are really friendly, she's joined lots of societies and she's really happy to be there.

MadameJosephine · 01/10/2019 22:55

I went to a RG uni and DS is currently at one but I’d never heard of the Russell group until I joined mumsnet!

DeeCeeCherry · 01/10/2019 22:56

My 2 went to Uni, but not RG. One doing a Masters currently, the other doesn't want to. I'm proud of them both & couldn't care less that they didn't go to a RG. Not so much lately but I have seen RG threads on MN which imply you're 'nowhere' if you didn't go to a RG, also parents fretting that their darling child MUST get into an RG. Ridiculous. I just laughed. Pressure much..?

JasBBGG · 01/10/2019 23:00

To be fair I'd be delighted if one of my kids would become a hairdresser - it would save me a fortune!!!

Of course medicine at a Russell Group would be great but...

Failing that I'd like them to go to a Plate Glass University and study an appropriate business subject as myself and DH did (watches everyone scurry off to google plate glass). I'd rather my kids got a relevant and regarded business degree than a random subject from a Russell Group that doesn't direct to a particular career.

ludothedog · 01/10/2019 23:16

Haven't googled "plate glass" but will do after posting.
DD is most definitely not going to RG uni - if we're lucky it will be college for hair and nails.
It took me the longest time to accept that she is not going to be academic. She is however the happiest little thing- she doesn't really seem to pick up on all the teenage drama going on around her. Silver linings and all that.
As for me, it was the OU as a mature student, which doesn't even count as Uni to some!

khaleesi71 · 01/10/2019 23:18

I must hang my head in shame - I went to a gasp post 92 poly and got a first Which doesn't count from a poly. Fortunately I survived that terrible experience and one went to a RG (classics) and one didn't (politics) - they are both functioning adults with happy lives and solvent accounts. I work in a RG uni but the filth of my poly background won't wash away

CountFosco · 01/10/2019 23:19

RG is terribly common, you need to go to an ancient university if you really want to be someone. Of course, you are rather in trouble south of the border since you only had two universities (same as Aberdeen!) until the early 19th century which is why you fight over your RGs.

I'm not sure many people realise that the real benefit of a RG university is the science funding

That only matters when doing a research degree. While RG is predominantly a research institute group I suspect it actually makes most difference to the graduates with humanities degrees who need the added prestige, we recruit scientists from anywhere as long as they have a brain, we do apprenticeships too for those who don't want to go to uni FT.

Whatisthisfuckery · 01/10/2019 23:26

DS wants to take the traditional WC rout and get himself a trade. he wants to be a spark. Good lad, knows his place and can help his mum with odd jobs.

pumkinspicetime · 01/10/2019 23:30

@CountFosco
RG is terribly common, you need to go to an ancient university if you really want to be someone.
My dm told this almost word for word. Along side my University actually being new where as any new in hers was about 15th century.

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