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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To laugh at the ridiculousness of my husband

144 replies

MRSMARMITE3 · 01/10/2019 07:21

We've got two kids, a 4 month old and a 6 year old. Every morning I get up extra early and sort both kids out etc and have a quick wash etc then take kids on the school run (we both leave house same time). DH gets up later, showers, breakfast then goes work
Today DH is off as wants to help on the school trip. I've had a crap night with the baby. So I've got up briefly to sort packed lunch then said I'm going back to bed till baby wakes up. DH response - "what about 6 year old!!"" I need to shower because I'm a man and sweat, you need to help!"

Umm what?? I do both kids every morning!! Needless to say I'm back in bed with the baby and he's sulking.

OP posts:
Wildorchidz · 01/10/2019 07:26

Is this seriously the first time in years that he has to do the morning get-ready with the 6 year old?

Shoxfordian · 01/10/2019 07:28

His routine hasn't changed since he was a single man. He gets up, showers, shaves, off to work whilst you sort out both the children. I hope he's generally less useless than this

BertrandRussell · 01/10/2019 07:28

Why would you laugh?

sparklefarts · 01/10/2019 07:29

Erm what? That's far from funny

NoSauce · 01/10/2019 07:30

You’ve enabled this pathetic man OP.
It’s not funny.

user1480880826 · 01/10/2019 07:30

Why do you let him get away with doing nothing to help every single other morning? What a massive extra child you’re living with.

scott2609 · 01/10/2019 07:30

Honestly, if you’ll put up with shit then you'll continue to get shit. He leaves the house at the same time as you, and yet you’re doing all the parenting?

Why indulge this bullshit for a moment longer? Don’t be weak and stand up for yourself!

Original poster
MRSMARMITE3 · 01/10/2019 07:32

I suppose laugh more that I'm shocked!! He has done the 6 year old a few times and in the first weeks after baby born he helped a bit. At the weekend does usually get breakfast etc for one of them. I was just shocked that he thought it was unreasonable that I didn't stay up (I'm wide awake with the baby in bed and could go downstairs and help but won't out of principle). It's so weird!

OP posts:
readingismycardio · 01/10/2019 07:33

OP, I wouldn't accept this and you shouldn't either!

DelphiniumBlue · 01/10/2019 07:40

Hang on, the baby is with you? So he can't manage 1 six year old? Not that there's much to manage, children of that age can dress themselves and feed themselves breakfast. Is he struggling with pouring cereal into a bowl, or with telling child to put it's shoes on? Does he think he can't leave the 6 year old while having a quick shower?
Anyway, clearly he needs to practice.

sparklefarts · 01/10/2019 07:40

You're shocked that a man who has barely helped you over the last SIX YEARS didn't want to help you this morning? Why so shocked today and not six years ago?

BlahBlahBlahh · 01/10/2019 07:45

Oh he's a man and sweats because he's women never swear we just bloody sparkle Hmm.

He needs to pull up his big boy pants and get the f**k over it

BlahBlahBlahh · 01/10/2019 07:45

*us not he's

BlahBlahBlahh · 01/10/2019 07:46

I should proof read! *sweat 🙈

Jeezoh · 01/10/2019 07:47

Good for you, hopefully this is the first step in the re-balancing of parenting duties in your house!

femfemlicious · 01/10/2019 07:49

To be fair it's not really bad that he hasn't done the six year old since I'm guessing you are a SAHM and he goes to work?. After you drop iff the children thrn you can come home and chill. Also he does more at the weekends?.

It is a but silly of him to expect you to do the 6 year old but it's just what he is used to. I guess he is getting on with it now. Don't let people on here blow things out of proportion and create a problem where there isn't. It would be different if you were both going to work, then you should taking turns doing the kids.

44PumpLane · 01/10/2019 07:50

This is of your own making OP, you've clearly put up with this ridiculousness for 6 years, it's tacit approval.

I left to go to work early this morning, as I have done for the last 3 work days (quarter end) meaning my husband has got our 2 year old twins up and ready and off to nursery and managed to sort himself and get to work.

He's mot perfect, neither am I, but he is a bloody adult who can manage his own kids!

Original poster
MRSMARMITE3 · 01/10/2019 07:54

I used to work weekends so DH would do it all then so has got in the habit. I like all the enable comments as if it's all down to me that he's like this... He is a grown man!? I'd like to think he's realised that he's being ridiculous and not that I have to point that out out to him but I don't know if he has cos I'm still in bed 😂.

OP posts:
Totalwasteofpaper · 01/10/2019 07:56

You need a new morning routine

Lulualla · 01/10/2019 07:58

Well, yo7 have enabled him.

Yes, he is a grown man. But he is at home with you all every morning, yet you get up and do everything. All he does is sort himself, like his family isn't even there. And you don't say anything. Men like that will not magically change. You need to tell them that they cannot behave like single men anymore. But you've seen that he won't bother, and instead of handing a child to him, you just do it. He doesn't need to because you will

MarianaMoatedGrange · 01/10/2019 08:01

He has done the 6 year old a few times and in the first weeks after baby born he helped a bit

See this is where it goes wrong. He didn't HELP a bit - he PARENTED his child!

BertrandRussell · 01/10/2019 08:01

Yep. It’s the woman’s fault. It always is. Hmm

RedskyLastNight · 01/10/2019 08:05

Um, what needs "doing" with a 6 year old anyway? Other than occasional checking that they are actually getting ready and not distracted by playing?

Littlecaf · 01/10/2019 08:10

I’d say “ok you have 30mins to get out of the house with DS or you’ll be late. Get DS dressed, then stick him in front of the tv while you shower. Then leave the house. See you at tea time”

While he is an adult he need to know what is expected and he clearly doesn’t.

My DP does the school run every Tuesday but still just text to ask where DS trousers were Hmm

MarianaMoatedGrange · 01/10/2019 08:13

I'm wondering how single dads cope, and those who do 50/50 and those who do EOW, what with all the man sweat and all.