DD is 16 and DS is 9, almost 10. DH's family insist on thank you letters for every present. So much that they will ring up DH a week or so after said birthday/christmas to check if DD/DS liked the present as they haven't had a thank you letter. As in, a thinly veiled disguise for 'where is my letter'
I hasten to add that DD has a phone and will text people the minute she opens presents to say thank you. DS doesn't but I send texts/emails on his behalf. They both think that if they have said thank you another way (text, phone call or email), they shouldn't need to write a physical thank you letter. I do actually agree with them, but DH thinks a thank you letter is required for all presents, even if the person was there when you opened it and you said thank you at the time!
So the minute they've opened their birthday or christmas presents, DH harps on at them to write thank yous, when they go 'ive already thanked so and so!' he tells them they're being rude and ungrateful and he'll tell so and so not to get them anything next year.
The other problem is DH's idea of a 'proper' thank you letter is at least 1 side of a4 fully covered, all well and good but if they have 10 of them to write that's a lot of work! DH has been brought up like this though, and insists he had to do it, so his kids will too. I think it's over the top. As long as everyone is thanked, I don't see the drama. AIBU?
YANBU- As long as you thank everyone in one way or another it's fine
YABU- - Everyone should write thank you letters no matter if they've already said thank you another way