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Original poster

To be wary of making any further payments?

570 replies

Abcdefgfedcba · 28/09/2019 08:46

I've been very stupid by not keeping a log of everything and am now in a real pickle.

A friend allowed me to purchase items on a catalogue in her name. This was various items over 12 months. I was not the only person, which means the payments made monthly onto the catalogue were for various peoples orders.

I stupidly didn't keep a record of what was bought and what was paid back.

I've asked a few times now for her to send me information of the total cost, along with payments made towards that. She keeps saying she will do this, but never does.

She's not messaging me up to 10 times a day saying I need to pay at least 100 per month because I owe her over 2k.

Looking at my bank statements I have already paid back over 1k.

I ordered clothing, kids Xmas presents last year, a smart watch, laptop.

Am I Being a terrible person to not want to keep putting money into her bank without seeing proof of how much I owe at least?

I'm worried that I'll end up paying money back indefinitely even after clearing the balance.

I'm grateful that I had the opportunity to buy things on the catalogue, but I just want a statement or something to show where I'm up to.

I now feel harassed and stressed by the constant texts. Should I just put more money into her bank?

OP posts:
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6
youwouldthink · 28/09/2019 08:53

If she has ordered all of the above for you she will be paying huge interest. Make sure you factor that in. Make a list of everything you can think of you ordered and then chat to her and go through the statements to find the rest. You'll then need to figure the interest. Think a lot of catalog companies can be close to 50% apr.
You may be feeling harassed but ultimately she is the one carrying the can for payments.

WaterSheep · 28/09/2019 08:54

Don't pay anything else until she's provided statements about the items you purchased, and your outstanding balance.

If you've paid back over 1K already I can't see how you still owe her 2K.

I know you haven't kept a list of what was purchased, but could you sit down and make a list of the items you can remember.

So for example

Clothes
2 hoodies
3 pairs of Nike trainers

Gadgets
1x Lenovo Laptop
1x apple smart watch

Then you'll be able to work out a rough price of the item you've purchased, and see if it tallies with her list when she provides you with one.

Also, and it should go without saying, never purchase from catalogues in someone elses name again.

LIZS · 28/09/2019 08:54

Can you not work out what you have bought and need to repay (presumably with interest). You have bank transfer information to demonstrate payments.

MrsMoastyToasty · 28/09/2019 08:58

If you haven't paid her and she is unable to cover the repayment from her own money then she will be incurring interest and late payment charges. It's going to affect her credit score.

ScreamingValenta · 28/09/2019 09:00

Try to see this from your friend's point of view - she is the one who will be in trouble if the repayments aren't made - it's not surprising that she is chasing you if she believes you still owe her.

I agree with the advice above to make a list of what you bought - look online to get as close an idea of the costs as you can.

I think you need to meet up with her and go through exactly what you owe - I hope for her sake that she has kept a record of who owes what.

Original poster
Abcdefgfedcba · 28/09/2019 09:00

I'm trying to work it out but Im not doing very well. Would it not be easier for her to just forward the emails from the orders or to print a statement off?

I understand there will be interest and I'm happy to pay that too. I just want to know the total plus interest and how much I've paid back.

I guess I'm worried my monthly payments haven't just been covering the purchases that were made for me. That others who have refused to pay have ended up also being covered by my payments.

OP posts:
Bucatini · 28/09/2019 09:01

I think you need to stop messaging each other, meet up and go through everything together.

Original poster
Abcdefgfedcba · 28/09/2019 09:04

I'd also like to state that I've paid her at least 100 per month on the last day of the month for the last year. She's sent 10 text in the last 2 days demanding I pay her because she knows I received money yesterday.

As I said I'm happy to pay, I just don't want to pay others orders too. The first so many months were interest free and I paid more in the beginning to take advantage of that.

I just want to see how much is on the statement and to see that my payments have actually gone towards the catalogue.

OP posts:
ScreamingValenta · 28/09/2019 09:05

Would it not be easier for her to just forward the emails from the orders or to print a statement off?

You say in your OP that several of you were ordering, so I'd guess that the statements from the catalogue co. will show all purchases, not just yours.

When you ordered, did you fill in your own order form and give this to your friend?

FactorFifty · 28/09/2019 09:05

I think you need to meet up with her and go through exactly what you owe

This.

I hope your friend wasn't pressured into doing this? I can't think of any sane person that would risk doing that and be in debt for thousands of pounds for friends shopping whims.

TheQueef · 28/09/2019 09:06

Assuming she uses the catalogue for herself and others the statement won't be very clear on your individual debt.
You need to add up including interest/interest free periods and apply your payments to that.
And don't use other peoples credit.

MrsElizabethShelby · 28/09/2019 09:06

Well this was foolish right from the off, but I guess you know that.

What would happen if you didn't pay? Do you fear her?

This sounds like a form of loan sharking to me. Particularly as she has done this for multiple people.

happinessischocolate · 28/09/2019 09:08

She can look back at all her statements to see what was bought and when.

Most catalogues have a buy now pay later with no interest option if you spend over £200, the only problem is you have to pay it all off within 12 months or the interest is extortionate.

Have a look online at whichever catalogue it was and get some ideas of the prices, an what you owed.

She needs to sort out s proper statement for you and no I wouldn't be paying her anymore money until she does.

RedSuitcase · 28/09/2019 09:08

Why on Earth did she allow people, multiple people! to do this??

ShirleyPhallus · 28/09/2019 09:08

I cannot believe people actually do stuff like this

How did you ask her to order stuff? Can you look back at your shared messages? Or ask for her catalogue log in details?

palahvah · 28/09/2019 09:11

You must be able to write down what you ordered? How did you tell her what you wanted to buy? - text? Email?

  1. write that all down. Look up the current price of the item on the catalogue's website as a guide. Also check how the interest is calculated.
  2. check through your bank statements for all the payments you've made to her.

Meet up with her and get her to bring the statements. You owe
cost of items

  • interest on them
  • what you've paid already.

What did you agree about how much to pay her back and how frequently?

Wilmalovescake · 28/09/2019 09:12

“I'm trying to work it out but Im not doing very well.“

You need to try harder.

dudsville · 28/09/2019 09:12

You both made a bad decision here, but that happens when times are tough. You need to sit down together and go over the receipts and your bank statements and document this properly asunder then plan to pay her back if need be.

rosedream · 28/09/2019 09:13

You cant do this by text you need to arrange a time to go round to go through it together.
Before hand you need to make a list of what you bought as far as you can remember then get a rough price for those. You will not forget large items and toys as they will be around the house.

If you refuse to pay that will back her into a corner to give you the details.

Do you know anybody else that is doing this with her ? Perhaps ask them if they have statements.

When you pay her the money do you give her cash or is it a transfer ? Do you get a receipt ? Do you know if she is actually putting that money or all of it onto the catalogue account ?

Oysterbabe · 28/09/2019 09:14

The total plus interest will depend on how quickly you pay it.

Original poster
Abcdefgfedcba · 28/09/2019 09:14

She asked me if I wanted to order stuff. Said it would help me out. I agreed with the 12 months interest free thing.

All my items were delivered straight to me. Would this not be easier to locate in her emails?

I'm not saying I'm refusing to pay or going to leave her in the shit. I'm simply asking for advice. Do I carry on paying her with no end date, with no idea how much I owe or who else's items are being paid off with my money.

This isn't about me wanting to get things for free or to do her over. I guess I'm worried its me who will end up done over.

It was stupid of me to order things in her name I agree. It was stupid not to write down what was bought and what was paid back and what dates for what items ended where for interest free.

But I can't go back and change this. I want to get it sorted and maybe just pay off anything outstanding in full to resolve it all. But I've no idea how much is left on the balance for the items only I purchased.

She won't meet up because she won't try and work out the statements. Even if she would allow me to see the statement and highlight everything I had I'd be happy to do that too.

OP posts:
Original poster
Abcdefgfedcba · 28/09/2019 09:16

I pay her at least 100 pound per month straight into her bank account. When I can afford to pay more I do to clear it quicker.

I'm going to sort the kids breakfast and then go through the online catalogue and do a list with prices. I'll then add up again all payments made through my bank as a start.

OP posts:
ScreamingValenta · 28/09/2019 09:17

She won't meet up because she won't try and work out the statements

Surely she would meet up if you made this a condition of making further payments?

As a pp asked, has she threatened you at all about these payments?

Byebyebyebyebye · 28/09/2019 09:19

This is a prime example of why ppl shouldn’t mix finances like that...the two of you were stupid to do so without accounting for and calculating the money spent and interest!!

TheQueef · 28/09/2019 09:20

Do the list work out what you've had and add it up.
Add up payments and deduct them from the total.
Now muddle out interest (from the catalogue published apr)
Add that in.
Make her an offer of this amount in full and final payment and see what she says.
Do it all in writing via email so you have a record