To be wary of making any further payments?

[Abcdefgfedcba]

I've been very stupid by not keeping a log of everything and am now in a real pickle.

A friend allowed me to purchase items on a catalogue in her name. This was various items over 12 months. I was not the only person, which means the payments made monthly onto the catalogue were for various peoples orders.

I stupidly didn't keep a record of what was bought and what was paid back.

I've asked a few times now for her to send me information of the total cost, along with payments made towards that. She keeps saying she will do this, but never does.

She's not messaging me up to 10 times a day saying I need to pay at least 100 per month because I owe her over 2k.

Looking at my bank statements I have already paid back over 1k.

I ordered clothing, kids Xmas presents last year, a smart watch, laptop.

Am I Being a terrible person to not want to keep putting money into her bank without seeing proof of how much I owe at least?

I'm worried that I'll end up paying money back indefinitely even after clearing the balance.

I'm grateful that I had the opportunity to buy things on the catalogue, but I just want a statement or something to show where I'm up to.

I now feel harassed and stressed by the constant texts. Should I just put more money into her bank?

OP, you need to go through your bank statements, emails, whatever and write down all the payments you've made (with dates and amounts) and all the things you think you've ordered (with dates and amounts).

You need to email this list your friend with a conclusion at the bottom saying 'therefore, on my calculations, I still owe you x and will transfer you £100 per month until x date. If you disagree with this, please let me know ASAP so we can resolve the dispute'.

The reason to do this is not because she 'did you a favour' but because clearly she's lost track and either because of dishonesty or disorganisation doesn't want to engage with this debt you owe her.

So you need to do some of the leg work and set out what you think you owe. Then she has something to work with and if she disagrees (e.g. because she remembers another item you ordered) then you can amend you figure to the extent you agree with her.

Do all this over email so there's a clear record of what's been said and agreed. And if you do get to meet up with her to go through her statements, follow up with an email setting out all the details and asking her to let you know ASAP if she disagrees. (NB don't ask her to confirm that she agrees as it just gives her a chance to avoid confirming again - word it so she only needs to confirm if she disagrees so that she'll have to engage if she still disputes the amount).

Oh no OP what a mess. How is this easier than using a credit card?!

If she knows it's "over 2k" then ask her to show you how she knows. Get copies.

Then set up a standing order of what you can realistically afford.

And never again.

With all due respect- a laptop, Apple Watch, Christmas presents and clothing is going to come to way more than 1k from a catalogue And that’s without adding interest, late payment fees etc.
Can you remember how many items of clothing? Where they Nike, Adidas, high end end brands? Which is really going to push the price up? Was it a 12 month interest free period or 12 weeks/3 month?

Was just coming to say the same as @ScreamingValentacreaming. Op if you could clarify how you know her and what sort of friend she is. If she is b/c from the above list she may just be in a muddle. It would help with knowing how to approach her.

A long time ago, I was in a similar position to your friend. It just snowballed on me. I had a couple of catalogues. 2 friends and myself ordering. 1 friend only got a couple if big items so it was easier to track. But my other friend like me ordered bits and pieces. The catalogue company itself helped me sort most of it out in the end. But it took me a long time to clear what I owed.

You started off ok in this thread and it looked like you would demand evidence, but now you've chickened out (for want of a better term, sorry I can't think of anything else at the moment) and say you'll keep making repayments. You're very very foolish if you do. Make this last payment, and message (and email, so you have a trail) her saying you feel you are being taken advantage of and feel something is not right. You have no idea how much you still owe, or when you will be finished. State that since you have not signed a contract with her, and therefore have no obligation in law, that it will be the last payment until she gives you a tally of everything and an end date for the final payment. Until you are in receipt of that, that this is the final payment.

Otherwise, if you back out/chicken out now, you will be re-paying for months and months and maybe another 2 or 3 years, UNTIL you actually put your foot down, get organised and demand to see actual payment terms. Do not back down now, if you do, she will NEVER meet with you, and you'll be paying off until 2023. Don't compound your mistake by not having the guts to confront it head on once and for all.

Another poster recommending you text her refusing to pay unless she gives you a balance to date of what you owe. If she needs the money she'll stump up.

Not sure if she's a loan shark tho- I order stuff for my dm on my accounts all the time and just arrange delivery to her house

I would suggest a message saying that by your calculations, based on what you can recall purchasing, you have now fully paid off your bill, and if she thinks otherwise then can she explain / break down the remaining balance for you..

It is a bit strange that she cannot give your order details I must say.
Do you have an order number, anything ?
I would definitely go to Citizens Advice as I think you may need mediation to sort this out.
One thing you could also do is get a solicitor to write her a letter demanding proof of what you owe.
In future obviously keep records of expenditures. I expect you trusted her though. But never mix friendship and money.

How did you order the items from her, do you have sent emails or text messages for that? At the moment I guess loan shark, you need to be extremely clear from now on, no more guessing what you owe and operating on the back foot.

Write down every payment you made and the date, that should be quick from bank statements. Write down in a long list every item you bought and date (from sent email / text to her), then separately look up the prices. Bring it all back to this thread in a long list along with the name of the catalogue, we'll help work out what you should owe.

PS. forget texts as some have suggested.
The other thing to do is to send a payment via a recorded means writing 'in full and final payment of what I owe you as you cannot itemise my bill' and don't pay any more.
OR
Write letters preferably via a solicitor demanding statements. Send them via recorded delivery and keep all details.
I think she is running a scam.

Were the deliveries addressed to you specifically or just your address? If the former you could contact the catalogue company and ask if they could provide info on what was delivered and when, under data protection law they may be obliged to provide you with this info.

I'm sorry but I think anyone suggesting this woman is a friend is naive at best. She is clearly an utter scam artist and a practised loan shark who is moving into using her husband as a threat. You are WAY over your head here OP and you need to go straight to the CAB with all your paperwork and as many details as you can find. Stop all payments until you have done so, and then pay her the full and final amount as advised by the CAB. Do NOT engage this woman again via text and get the advice from the CAB as to how to proceed. All communication should be by EMAIL so that you have an electronic record. Any threats from her or her DH should be immediately reported to the police so it's on record.

She probably has countless others in your position all thinking they owe her and all being threatened by her husband, and meanwhile she is funding her lifestyle through monthly payments from each of them. She is NOT your friend. Seek professional advice ASAP and don't get yourself into this mess again.

The cynical person in me, is it possible she was ordering stuff for herself and just thinking it’s only £1.50 a week here and £2.00 a week there, and basically adding to yours and others payments, so she essentially was getting free things courtesy of all of you?

WHY WHY WHY, thats all people have to say Op even though you have already answered those questions...

@Abcdefgfedcba STOP paying her till she gives proof of what you oh, if you pay her every month then she has a whole month to figure out what you oh!

What catalogue is it? I have Next & Very, I can see my statements VERY easily online and in the app and see how much stuff cost me.

With interest free, it is NO interest for 12 months but if you don't pay the total amount before the 12 months you obviously then have to pay the 12 months worth of interest on what balance you have remaining!!

I would be wary of paying another installament until you could work out exactly how much is owed.

I'd text the friend and say "hello I can't pay anymore until we work out together exactly how much I have left to pay, we have four weeks until the next payment is due so can you please let me know when your available to hash this out?"

I'd then collate all your bank statements and correspondence you have with her and do a timeline on one page so when you both review it is easy to follow.

The cynical person in me, is it possible she was ordering stuff for herself and just thinking it’s only £1.50 a week here and £2.00 a week there, and basically adding to yours and others payments, so she essentially was getting free things courtesy of all of you?

This is the only reasonable explanation. Obviously she saw an opportunity to charge over the odds for access to her credit line.

She is now discovering the risks associated with being an unregulated consumer credit lender!

And OP is discovering how awkward it is to default on a creditor who is also your mate.

What a mess!

I don't think any of the mainstream catalogues do agent/commission type accounts any more

As the items were delivered by the catalogue company directly, you might be able to phone them and ask for the dates of delivery of the various items (You might not because it's not your account though). Could be worth phoning them to ask if they can confirm delivery dates and prices of the things you had at the very least?

The catalogue is Very.

I would message.
"Thanks for placing the orders for me. I want to be clear on how much I owe you. Please provide copy statements with my items/charges. I am sure you will understand that I cannot pay you any more £ without knowing exactly how much I owe and what for xx"

This cannot be real

Why will it take you a few days to work out what you've spent.

Let her husband step in - when he turns up phone the police. Simples.

You sound as though you havent got a clue about maths or finance and havent said how you know her so I imagine shes preyed on you. She probably ordered the stuff then claimed it as fraudulent (because it was sent to someone else's address so cant have been her) and is just taking your money as pure profit. You're being a mug.

OP I think you need to tell her that before making further payments you need to sit down together and work out what is still owed.

Is she really a friend or just someone you know? As I find it bizarre she is so unwilling to work this out with you. It does make me suspicious that she is somehow benefitting from the arrangement of making orders for people: though I've never had a catalogue so not sure how it would work

OP, how did your friend know what to order for you? Did you text her? If so can you still pull up these messages?

This is so weird. Obviously don’t pay her anything else until you have proof of the debt. In fact I’d just let her take me to court where she’d have to evidence her claim in full, and you have proof in the form of text messages where she has refused to engage and provide a breakdown of costs

OK, now you’ve said it’s Very...

I can’t see ANYTHING on Very website or on google about acting as an agent for them.

The fact she had the goods delivered to your address, I expect means nothing. The website FAQ tells you how to change delivery address.

Only you know OP, whether she’s a loan shark who sought you out, or an idiot who has effectively done an Arthur Fowler.